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Smoking in Remembrance

(71 posts)
  • Started 1 year ago by anthonyrosenthal74
  • Latest reply from npod
  1. anthonyrosenthal74

    anthonyrosenthal74

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    I got the call just after leaving work on the night of January 4th that my father was in his final hours... if he had that long. So I rushed home changed clothes and was back out the door, and on my way to my parent's home in the country. I made it just a short while before he passed. I truly believe he was holding on until both my brother and I made it there. He was always a fighter, surviving Vietnam and fighting through life afterward, fighting back after a massive heart attack years ago, and fighting on recently through COPD and his failing health. I was able to say my goodbyes, and tell him I loved him before he passed and at his bedside I wept like I'd never wept before with my head on his shoulder as he was taking his final breaths. And then I walked outside and raged. And then I wept some more.

    I have yet to smoke a pipe in his honor, although I've asked others to do so. I did smoke a few bowls the day after, but that was more for my benefit, just to help me deal with it all. I have yet to smoke a pipe today as I'm really just not feeling it right now. And that's what leads me to this question, for those of you who have done so. How long before you were able to finally choose a pipe and tobacco that was fitting, and actually smoke a pipe for the purpose of reflecting on a loved one's life you recently lost?

    Arrrrr, shiver me timbers! International Talk Like a Pirate Day is September the 19th!!!
    Brothers Of The Black Frigate
    Posted 1 year ago #
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    auburnfan

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    Will definitely smoke in his honor...pulling out my old stock now. Sorry for your lost, but Glad you got to say your goodbye. My prayers and thoughts are with you and your family.
    Jake

    Posted 1 year ago #
  3. mcitinner1

    mcitinner1

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    Peace be with you and your family Anthony. You will find your own answer to your question.

    Stan
    Godfrey Daniels!!
    The Plenipotent Key to Cope's Correct Card of the Peerless Pilgrimage to Saint Nicotine of the Holy Herb:
    Posted 1 year ago #
  4. leatherman

    leatherman

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    I'm so sorry for your loss, Anthony. I know the grief of losing ones father. May he rest in peace.

    Posted 1 year ago #
  5. brian64

    brian64

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    My sincere condolences Anthony to you and your family. I'm glad you made it there before he passed.

    “Bipartisan usually means some larger-than-usual deception is being carried out.” – George Carlin
    Posted 1 year ago #
  6. aquadoc

    aquadoc

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    I am very sorry.

    "If you resolve to give up smoking, drinking and sex, you don't actually live longer; it just seems that way."
    Posted 1 year ago #
  7. weezell

    weezell

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    You will find your own answer to your question
    Very true. Your heart will call out to the blend,time and place. It is not something you choose, it will choose you when the time is right. God Rest you father and let peace come to you...

    "The weez..."
    Posted 1 year ago #
  8. hawky454

    hawky454

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    I'm sorry to hear about your loss man. I can't even imagine what you're going through. I'm glad to hear you got there to say your goodbyes. Wishing you and yours the best.

    Posted 1 year ago #
  9. puffy

    puffy

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    I tend to think about the past when I smoke.Remembering those who have gone on is something I do a lot of.

    Life's most valuable treasure is..Love
    Posted 1 year ago #
  10. btwes7

    btwes7

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    I'm sorry for your loss Anthony. I'm glad you got to be with him to say goodbye. Will smoke a quiet bowl in his honor.

    Posted 1 year ago #
  11. olkofri

    Olkofri

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    Very sorry for your loss, mate. I'll keep your dad and yours in my prayers.

    I think you'll find your answer to your question yourself. All I can think of is that a certain pipe/toby combo might bring back certain memories, and you might weep some more. Up to you. Sometimes weeping is a good thing.

    Not the sweet, new grass with flowers is this harvesting of mine;
    Not the upland clover bloom...
    Posted 1 year ago #
  12. unkleyoda

    unkleyoda

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    I have no answers for you, but I am saddened to hear of your father's passing. I hope you can make it through this difficult time.


    So you say you can drink? Well, I'm from Wisconsin. Try to keep up.
    Posted 1 year ago #
  13. addamsruspipe

    addamsruspipe

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    I am so sorry for your loss. I would think that a pipe/blend mix that keeps the memories of your father alive. Then he will always be with you.

    Posted 1 year ago #
  14. cosmicfolklore

    Cosmic

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    My condolences, to you and yours.

    Michael
    Posted 1 year ago #
  15. warren

    warren

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    My condolences. The best I can do is offer the advice my brother did me when my wife died: "This isn't a time for decisions." Take it one day at and time and things will slowly sort themselves out.

    A man without a shillelagh is a man without an expedient.
    Posted 1 year ago #
  16. metalheadycigarguy

    metalheadycigarguy

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    Sorry for you loss Anthony. Thoughts and prayers to you and your family.

    Posted 1 year ago #
  17. tbradsim1

    tbradsim1

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    Anthony so sad for you, cry, it's a good thing when a loss so dear is thrust upon you. Tommorow morning I will smoke in his honor. We all love you Anthony.

    The Old Cajun
    Posted 1 year ago #
  18. dino

    dino

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    May your father's memory be eternal.

    Posted 1 year ago #
  19. jravenwood

    jravenwood

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    Sorry for your loss. Prayers be with you ...

    "It is quite a three pipe problem..."
    Posted 1 year ago #
  20. anthonyrosenthal74

    anthonyrosenthal74

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    Thank you all very much.

    Posted 1 year ago #
  21. dottiewarden

    dottiewarden

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    Sad news. Gone but not forgotten.

    Dot
    Posted 1 year ago #
  22. chasingembers

    Embers

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    My father passed in January 2013. I wasn't there when he passed, but the last time we talked face to face, we shared a bowl of ODF in a Savinelli Alligator 904. I'm going to fire up a bowl of that in that pipe, and smoke it in honor of your dad. You have my prayers and deepest sympathy my friend.

    Damnation seize my soul if I give you quarters, or take any from you.
    -Edward Teach
    Posted 1 year ago #
  23. jndyer

    jndyer

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    I am sorry for your loss. I echo the thoughts of others that you were able to be there to say goodbye. Take it moment by moment. You are in my thoughts and prayers.

    Posted 1 year ago #
  24. jiminks

    JimInks

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    My sincere condolences on your father's passing, Anthony.

    Posted 1 year ago #
  25. philobeddoe

    Philo Beddoe

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    My deepest condolences Anthony, may your father Rest In Peace.

    "So it goes." - K.V.
    Posted 1 year ago #
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    ukbob

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    Sorry for your loss Anthony.

    Posted 1 year ago #
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    fabioptrn

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    I am sorry for your loss. Life is in continuous transformation. I think the "right" pipe and tobacco will call you when the time is "right". Condolence.

    Posted 1 year ago #
  28. voorhees

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    You'll know the right time when it comes I'm sure. I will however take a moment for your father as well. My sincerest sympathies.

    Jason
    Posted 1 year ago #
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    instymp

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    Sincere condolences!

    Posted 1 year ago #
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    derekflint

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    Sorry for your loss. Glad you got there in time to say goodbye.........

    Posted 1 year ago #
  31. ssjones

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    Condolences to you and your brother, we just went thru that, so I get it.

    Al

    Posted 1 year ago #
  32. jvnshr

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    I am sorry to hear about your loss, Anthony. My sincere condolences to you and to his whole family.

    Javan
    Posted 1 year ago #
  33. brightleaf

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    Processing grief and loss can take a long time. Finding a place and time to open up and feel it allows the pain to heal. You will always have the benefits of knowing and loving him, that isn't gone. Take comfort knowing that relationships are important and meaningful to you, and be thankful for the ones that still have. Best wishes to you.

    POSSIBLY, contentment is not only the chief element of life, but also one of the very foundations of society. If this be so, then as Tobacco is the enemy of malice, friend of virtue, and a direct cause for content, its use should be encouraged. -J.W. Cundall 1901
    Posted 1 year ago #
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    headhunter

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    My sincerest sympathy Anthony. I lost my father 32 years ago. After I got back from Vietnam I entered his business as a partner. We worked together for 16 years before he passed. I am now on the same path thanks to Agent Orange. Fortunately the business that my Dad and I built will be in the capable hands of my son and later on my grandson. Myself, my son and grandson have grown up working in the business and are very comfortable in our endeavors.

    Posted 1 year ago #
  35. yohanan

    yohanan

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    My Condolences to You on the passing of your Father, Take care.


    Smoke What You Like, And Like What You Smoke...Regardless Of What Anyone Else Thinks...
    Posted 1 year ago #
  36. lifesizehobbit

    lifesizehobbit

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    A father's love bond,
    Never removed from the heart.
    The sons remember.

    Prayers for you and your family Anthony during this difficult time.

    Dave "Black Frigate Stowaway"
    Posted 1 year ago #
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    lawmax3

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    Very sorry to hear such sad news.
    I will be thinking of you and your family.

    Posted 1 year ago #
  38. james72

    james72

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    Sorry, bud. I will smoke a bowl in your dad's honor tonight.

    Posted 1 year ago #
  39. sablebrush52

    sablebrush52

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    Anthony, please accept my deepest condolences to you and your family. My father passed in October of 2012. I had seen him a couple of days before, and I just knew. But there's still that feeling of unreality following the death of a parent. There's no real answer for your question other than it will happen when it's time to happen. Pretty much like everything else. God bless.

    It is better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to open one's mouth and remove all doubt. - Mark Twain

    It is pointless to argue with a fanatic since a dim bulb can't be converted into a searchlight. - Jesse Silver
    Posted 1 year ago #
  40. saltedplug

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    My sympathy for your loss. As said above, you'll know when to smoke in remembrance. Again, my condolenses.

    Posted 1 year ago #
  41. mso489

    mso489

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    Anthony, my condolences. These loses are immense and take time. For what seems like a long time, the absence is vast. Then remarkably, after settling into their new place in the universe and your memory, the deceased come back to mind, big time. Your dad had a lot to teach you all the way through the end. And he has a lot to teach you in the future, the questions you asked and the questions you didn't, a connection to your ancestry in generations going back. I remember losing my dad (and mother, and late wife), each minute, in detail.

    Posted 1 year ago #
  42. snoopy311

    snoopy311

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    Thoughts and prayers for you and your family, Anthony.

    Posted 1 year ago #
  43. thesmokindragon

    thesmokindragon

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    Sorry for your loss my Brother - I will be smoking in his honor today...something bold with depth and strength to match - It will be GLP's JackKnife Plug

    Posted 1 year ago #
  44. davet

    davet

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    My sincerest condolences Anthony, sorry for your loss

    Posted 1 year ago #
  45. jaytex969

    jaytex969

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    I know your dad's son, just a little.

    He must have been a hell of a man.

    Wishing you comfort.

    Gunner, Black Frigate. Say "Hello" to my little friend!
    Posted 1 year ago #
  46. johnbarleycorn

    johnbarleycorn

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    I will definitely keep you and your family in my prayers Anthony. I lost my father several years ago and my brother and I reflect on the impact he made on our lives quite often and at the most unexpected times. As others have said, I believe the remembrance smoke will come to you at the appropriate time. Until then I will definitely have a smoke in his honor today.

    And little Sir John and the nut brown bowl proved the strongest man at last
    Posted 1 year ago #
  47. joeman

    joeman

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    Take it one day at and time and things will slowly sort themselves out.

    +1 to that. Whether a pipe, using his tools, or doing something we used to do together...everything will have it's time; you'll know.

    Lost my dad in November, 2011. He too was a veteran, hard worker, fought through cancer for several years before he died. Of the men I knew...I can honestly say he was a hero to me...taught me so much both directly and indirectly. I share that, just to add onto what others have shared as well...that I know exactly what you're going through.

    Give thanks for having had your dad in your life as you did; the sorrow you now have is testimony to how great a loss this is to lose him.

    JoeMan
    Posted 1 year ago #
  48. tbradsim1

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    Anthony this was my Dad, survivor on a farm of the Depression, WWII VET, hard man but you could get his last with a sob story, these are the real heros, I try to live my life so he would be proud. Wanted you to see him Anthony .

    Posted 1 year ago #
  49. cigrmaster

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    My sincerest condolences to you and your family.

    Harris
    Posted 1 year ago #
  50. cortezattic

    Cortez

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    We're all here for you Anthony, and keeping you in our thoughts and prayers.

    I find myself sitting idly on the line dividing past and future,
    as if I could kill time without injuring eternity. -- Thoreau
    Posted 1 year ago #
  51. beefeater33

    beefeater33

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    Sorry to hear this Anthony. Take comfort in knowing that your Father was surrounded by those who loved him when he passed. Every smoke from now on will most likely be a "remembrance smoke".............. pipes have a way of doing that, and thats a good thing, time heals all.

    "We are the music makers, and we are the dreamers of the dream..."
    Willy Wonka
    Posted 1 year ago #
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    dj11

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    So sorry for your loss Anthony. Prayers to you and your family.

    Posted 1 year ago #
  53. ashdigger

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    I'm a sorry to hear about your loss. I know what you're going through and have deep empathy with you.

    I'll raise a bowl out of a birthyear Dunhill (1938) of my late father.

    Ubi Ignis Est?
    Posted 1 year ago #
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    aldecaker

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    My condolences for your loss, Anthony.

    A man who serves his country is a patriot. A man who serves his government is an employee. The two are not always the same thing.
    Posted 1 year ago #
  55. jpmcwjr

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    My sincere condolences, Anthony. I lost my dad in 1972, and I wasn't smoking then, but I did raise a glass or two of his bourbon in remembrance.

    For your Dad, I'll be raising my birth year Dunny (1944) in his honor this evening. May he rest in peace, and may your family find consolation.

    I know that you believe you understood what you think I said, but I'm not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant.
    Posted 1 year ago #
  56. deathmetal

    deathmetal

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    Anthony, I am sorry to hear of this. My condolences and sympathies to you. Your Dad sounds like quite the fellow!

    "My own experience has been that the tools I need for my trade are paper, tobacco, food, and a little whiskey." -- William Faulkner

    The Metal Mixtures
    Posted 1 year ago #
  57. drydock

    drydock

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    So sorry to hear this. I believe that when the time is right, the answer simply comes--whether this happens immediately or weeks from now, or next year, it will come. And when it does, your dad will be right there with you.

    “Difficulties are what makes it honorable and interesting to be alive.” Florida Scott-Maxwell
    Posted 1 year ago #
  58. menuhin

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    I am sorry for your loss, my sincerest condolences to you and your family.

    Posted 1 year ago #
  59. anthonyrosenthal74

    anthonyrosenthal74

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    Wow. Everyone thank you so very much. Your kind words, shared experiences, and knowing you've raised a drink or pipe or both in his honor really lifts my spirits.

    Edit to add: Bradley, you've got your father's look.

    Posted 1 year ago #
  60. bootlegbonvivant

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    The timing of pairing a pipe and tobacco to honor your father will come when you're ready. For me, took a couple of months after my wife passed. I hadn't smoked much of anything in about 3 years for the pure enjoyment and reflection. My condolences and prayers to you and your family and a raised glass and smoke in his honor..

    Southerners don't talk slow because they're dumb, we do it because there's really no rush.
    Posted 1 year ago #
  61. litup

    litup

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    I had to wait until I stopped crying after my mom died last year before I could enjoy a contemplative smoke. My mom died from breast cancer so I ended up buying a pipe with a pink stem. Whenever I smoke that pipe, I spend a few minutes thinking about her.

    I'm very sorry to hear that your dad has died. I will smoke in his honor tonight.

    Posted 1 year ago #
  62. fitzy

    fitzy

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    I'm very sorry for your loss.

    I'm lighting up a bowl now in his honor.

    "These are ghosts that are more at home in a girdle-filled drawer than one of my pipes." Quote by Neil Archer Roan on lakeland ghosts
    Posted 1 year ago #
  63. butsiethesungo

    butsiethesungo

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    Your heart will call out to the blend,time and place. It is not something you choose, it will choose you when the time is right.

    Weezel is correct on that! When the time comes, the pipe and tabac will choose you. When my grandfather died, my cousin told me that there will be bad days ahead and worse days. Eventually, it will get better. Anthony, I am deeply saddened by your loss and want you to know that you will be in my prayers and thoughts. I will dedicate my next smoke to you and your father.

    Sincerely

    Posted 1 year ago #
  64. balkisobrains

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    I meant to post in here the other day, sorry for your loss man. You just have to take care of the stuff that you need to take care of, and wait until you want to do fun stuff that you used to enjoy, and then go do them.

    Posted 1 year ago #
  65. mikethompson

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    My condolences Anthony, I have no idea what you must be feeling. I do remember seeing my grandfather right before he passed and I was always so grateful for the chance to say goodbye. That's something you will always have.

    Posted 1 year ago #
  66. bluegrasspipe

    bluegrasspipe

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    Very sorry for your loss Anthony. Hang in there.

    For tho' at my simile many may joke,
    Man is but a pipe—and his life but smoke.
    Posted 1 year ago #
  67. woodsroad

    woodsroad

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    Anthony, I hope the passage of time will help you find answers. It did for me.

    Posted 1 year ago #
  68. theloniousmonkfish

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    Condolences extended and a bowl raised in honor.

    Posted 1 year ago #
  69. cranseiron

    Cranse Iron

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    Anthony, my deepest sympathies. I'm sitting in a service center waiting for my truck as I read your post. It made me choke up as I too, received a call at work to tell me my father was dying. Unfortunately, he was unconscious and I didn't get to tell him I loved him, but he was surrounded by those who loved him as he drew his last breath. I didn't smoke a pipe back in 2005, but I only picked it up to honor and remember him as he was a long time pipe smoker. The best to you, my brother.
    Eric

    Posted 1 year ago #
  70. anthonyrosenthal74

    anthonyrosenthal74

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    Thanks again everyone. It has been a rough week. Tomorrow, January 11th will be another rough day as we lay him to rest. And for all of you who have also lost your father, my condolences to you as well. I guess nothing really prepares you for it.

    Posted 1 year ago #

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