Seeking Advice on Giving Advice (Pipe Related)

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lostandfound

Part of the Furniture Now
Sep 30, 2011
924
44
Recently, I have learned that a co-worker of mine is also a pipe smoker, but therein lies a dilemma.
Apparently, this pipe-smoking co-worker of mine, has taken to the pipe as a nicotine delivery system... :( I had heard that he was a pipe smoker, and assumed that he was probably smoking an OTC blend out of a cob, or a Grabow. However, after having witnessed him smoke his pipe on a break recently, I learned that he has been smoking Largo "Mellow", a Roll Your Own tobacco which is labeled "Pipe Tobacco". When he smokes, he lights his pipe and puffs like a mad man until the pipe, very shortly afterwards, goes out- whereupon he lights his tobacco on fire again, puffing again like a freight train. I watched in agony as he repeated this process over and over again, until he could no longer keep his pipe lit.
I felt that at the time, I could do nothing but offer him something better to light on fire and inhale, so I gave him a flake of Orlik Golden Sliced, which he said was enough, and what I had left over in a baggie of McClelland's Anniversary, which probably equated to two or three bowls. He said he really liked the McClelland, and I proceeded to direct him to our lounge, and a few of our site sponsors as well.
The advice I'm asking for is this: How to go about telling him he's smoking his pipe "the wrong way". How do I begin to tell him about packing, lighting, tamping... taking 45 minutes to an hour out of your day to actually sit and enjoy your pipe, as opposed to lighting it on fire and inhaling three or four times, only to set the pipe down and come back when a nicotine craving scratches at the door, which is what he says he does...
He seems to think he knows what he's doing, and by all accounts, maybe for his satisfaction, he does... but you and I know well that pipe smoking has more to offer than Largo Mellow and a quick puff or two here and there to alleviate the craving for nicotine.

 

pitchfork

Lifer
May 25, 2012
4,030
605
I'm not qualified to offer advice, but it made me think of this:
http://www.apassionforpipes.com/neills-blog/2012/12/30/lessons-from-a-park-bench.html

 

locopony

Part of the Furniture Now
Jun 7, 2011
710
3
How about dont say anything.
Take your pipe with you and smoke on break when he does and smoke a good slow relaxing pace ,and a nice smelling toby as well.

Or leave him be with it .

 

locopony

Part of the Furniture Now
Jun 7, 2011
710
3
Ok , being that you asked advice, I'm gonna lay some on ya.

First ya put a little frowny face by the nicotine delivery system statement. Why? Cause you are judging a mans motives. So advice numero uno; stop judging folks. We all get nicotine from smoking. Remember you arebjudged for smoking at all.

Two; dont help people by giving them advice they didnt ask for. Live an example of a quality life as it is to you and if they think you have something they want they will ask. Attraction rather than promotion.

 

freakiefrog

Part of the Furniture Now
Dec 26, 2012
745
2
Mississippi
first I'd find out if he enjoys smoking it that har and fast. He might in that case NOMB (none of my business)how he smokes or what. But if he says I'd like it to stay lite or it burns the hell out of my mouth then you might offer some friendly advice.. Thats my two cents.

 

lostandfound

Part of the Furniture Now
Sep 30, 2011
924
44
Well, what I had originally thought, was that when I first began piping, I had no one to "teach" me, if you will. I found my way to this website, and have continued to learn more and more about piping ever since. So, I suppose it's up to my co-worker to find his way, if he wants.

 

cortezattic

Lifer
Nov 19, 2009
15,147
7,637
Chicago, IL
If one doesn't ask for advice in some manner, then don't give it. That doesn't mean you can't share your experiences and preferences - just respect those of the other person.

 

lostandfound

Part of the Furniture Now
Sep 30, 2011
924
44
Well, now I feel like an ass, and will refrain from offering any advice unless requested.

 

phred

Lifer
Dec 11, 2012
1,754
4
Speaking both as a fairly new smoker and as an introvert, some people find it hard to ask for advice - and others react badly to unsolicited advice... So if it were me, I'd simply do as Locopony suggests and serve (quietly) as a 'good example'. When I go to the B&M, I carefully observe anyone else who shows up with a pipe (the owner usually indulges, and there are a couple of other regulars who switch between cigars and pipes. I'd guess that if your fellow piper is happy with his method, he'll at least be curious about yours - and if he's not happy with his method, he'll eventually work up the nerve to ask you a question or two.

 

pstlpkr

Lifer
Dec 14, 2009
9,694
31
Birmingham, AL
Just something to think about....
Offer him a fill of Haddo's Delight....

Don't mention his technique.

Just let him smoke.

Let him get the worst case of spins he's ever had.

Then when he inquires.... offer up some tips.

:puffy:

 

lovethebriar

Starting to Get Obsessed
Aug 12, 2013
237
0
Brother man if that's the way he likes to smoke then it's not wrong, don't worry about others and how they do things different than the next Joe. There is really no right are wrong when enjoying a pipe. As long as he is enjoying it then its fine, let him puff, till his heart is content. I too tried to teach my wife the correct way to light,smoke,clean, etc. it took the fun out of it for her so that's not fair to her, I let her smoke exactly the way she wants too and she loves it.

On the other hand if he is tattoo his tongue, complaining about it hurting, are if he is running into problems directly relating to his smoking style then offer some words of advise so he does not ruin the experience for his self. Remember just because the next guy likes to enjoy things totally different than the norm that's his own. To each his own.

 

sfsteves

Lifer
Aug 3, 2013
1,279
0
SF Bay Area
Perhaps you could also consider asking HIM a question or two, as though you were seeking HIS advise ... for example, you might say "I would like to be able to generate a larger volume of smoke when puffing on my pipe, but find if I puff too hard, it burns my tongue ... how do you manage to not do that?" ... see where that sort of question leads ... perhaps it goes nowhere, but it does open the door to the topic without you offering him any un-asked for and perhaps unwanted 'advise' ...

 

lovethebriar

Starting to Get Obsessed
Aug 12, 2013
237
0
Guy I have over 5000 Marines under my command at any given point in time. We mostly walk the same, talk the same, act the same because its what I demand and its predictable in time of combat. But let me tell you it can get very boring. Just let those do as they please unless your having to put your life and others in there hands. I really in joy the knuckle head Marines that mix it up a bit for me. I know there mostly a problem but it makes my world go around.

 

mso489

Lifer
Feb 21, 2013
41,210
60,433
I think the previous posts have it correctly that you can't stage-direct someone else's smoking. You can

however be yourself. In neutral way, you can say, "I seem to get better flavor when I smoke more slowly,

but maybe that's just me." Or offer him a bowl of your tobacco, nothing harsh or over nicced, where he

might want to slow down and taste the blend. Otherwise, leave him be. He may be back around to ask.

Even then, don't lay on a bunch of advice. One quiet suggestion, and your example, is all you can do.

Don't be nosey, but it might be interesting to see what happens. The freight train puffing may just be

who he is, which is interesting in itself.

 

cigrmaster

Lifer
May 26, 2012
20,249
57,280
66
Sarasota Florida
I would tell him that he has no clue how to smoke a pipe and watching him puff like a madman makes you want to puke, see what he says. lol
Seriously, I would just smoke your normal pace in front of him and maybe he will notice the difference. Some people think they know everything and do not appreciate being told there are better ways to do things. Not everyone has a yearning to learn new things.

 

tbradsim1

Lifer
Jan 14, 2012
9,093
11,012
Southwest Louisiana
Harris is right, do your thing, let him do his thing, if he asks why you are doing it different, explain but do not criticize his way, maybe he"'ll get the hint. That's my take.

 

pipestud

Lifer
Dec 6, 2012
2,010
1,749
Robinson, TX.
Guy I have over 5000 Marines under my command at any given point in time. We mostly walk the same, talk the same, act the same because its what I demand and its predictable in time of combat. But let me tell you it can get very boring. Just let those do as they please unless your having to put your life and others in there hands. I really in joy the knuckle head Marines that mix it up a bit for me. I know there mostly a problem but it makes my world go around."
Dadgum, usmarines, 5,000 troops is a Brigade. I'm impressed. Only full bird's and Brigadier Generals command Marine brigades. Glad to have you aboard.
 

taerin

Lifer
May 22, 2012
1,851
1
I just give advice by stating there may be a better way to do it, how about this? Note why it's better and if at any point they feel put off instead of interested, I just let them get back to what they are doing. I would have loved to get some good advice early on, I spent over a year with horrific technique. It's a great idea to start giving him some premium smokes, that's a really good way to offer them other help to make his enjoyment more complete.
People are both afraid to ask and afraid to give help when needed, mostly because they are afraid of infringing on the other person's mental and or physical space. If you come off as helpful and not condescending there really isn't anything to loose by offering in the first place, especially if they are the kind of person who won't really ask for help when they really want it (I know it sounds crazy, but happens more than you think).

 

lostandfound

Part of the Furniture Now
Sep 30, 2011
924
44
Thanks guys. Your replies were great. I had a feeling I shouldn't say anything, but seriously... I've smoked RYO in a pipe, and now I smoke REAL pipe tobacco. I think we can all agree there is a fundamental difference between RYO tobacco, and pipe tobacco. I think we should all be able to agree that pipe tobacco is better in a pipe than RYO tobacco. Maybe I'll just keep handing him pipe tobacco until he finally understands this, and can no longer bare to fill his pipe with Largo Mellow. Or maybe, he'll smoke Largo Mellow until the day he dies and I can learn to appreciate the differences in people that make each of us unique.
I probably should have added that I've probably spoken no more than 25 words to the guy, and vice versa.

 

effektor

Might Stick Around
Aug 4, 2013
50
0
He smokes a pipe for a different reason than you. Enjoy your tobacco in your way and maybe offer some with a bit of advice on packing and cadence for it.

 
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