Pipes and Flatulence

deathmetal

Lifer

Jul 21, 2015

7,714

32

• May 5, 2016

• #1

Well, that's the third time we've had to call the fire department.
Any hints for a method of restricting flatulence to avoid methane explosions?
I don't think this house can stand much more. Next conflagration is the last... Royal Yacht or not.

 

pitchfork

Lifer

May 25, 2012

4,030

606

• May 5, 2016

• #2

I think you're doing it wrong.

 

deathmetal

Lifer

Jul 21, 2015

7,714

32

• May 5, 2016

• #3

Man, I'm on fire.

 

mso489

Lifer

Feb 21, 2013

41,210

60,454

• May 5, 2016

• #4

Try keeping the match or lighter above your neckline.

 

deathmetal

Lifer

Jul 21, 2015

7,714

32

• May 5, 2016

• #5

I may need a bigger room. It quickly fills with methane and becomes inflammable.

 

phil67

Lifer

Dec 14, 2013

2,052

7

• May 5, 2016

• #6

Now that explains why you love RY so much, you're smoking the pipe out of your ass. :wink:

 

deathmetal

Lifer

Jul 21, 2015

7,714

32

• May 5, 2016

• #7

Good idea. I should try that. How do you manage the inhale however? And what's the retrohale like?

 

phil67

Lifer

Dec 14, 2013

2,052

7

• May 5, 2016

• #8

Good idea. I should try that. How do you manage the inhale however? And what's the retrohale like?

Click to expand...

I've never attempted it, but I imagine the retrohale would taste like shit, or Mixture No.79, which is basically the same thing.

 

deathmetal

Lifer

Jul 21, 2015

7,714

32

• May 5, 2016

• #9

Mixture 79 is the standard by which all other tobaccos should be judged.
Blew out four windows today. It's going to take a long time for the neighboring houses to remove the glass fragments from their siding.

 

pitchfork

Lifer

May 25, 2012

4,030

606

• May 5, 2016

• #10

Have you tried a churchwarden?

 

cobguy

Lifer

Oct 18, 2013

3,742

15

• May 5, 2016

• #11

Any hints for a method of restricting flatulence to avoid methane explosions?

Click to expand...

Stick some surgical tubing up your butt and direct this either out a window or directly into an incineration box.
Alternately, this gas can be collected in a high-psi tank and fitted to a Hybrid truck.

 

deathmetal

Lifer

Jul 21, 2015

7,714

32

• May 5, 2016

• #12

Oh, then I can drive a PriASS.

 

mcitinner1

Lifer

Apr 5, 2014

4,043

24

Missouri

• May 5, 2016

• #13

:roll: :crazy: :roll: :crazy: :roll: :crazy:

 

peteguy

Lifer

Jan 19, 2012

1,531

908

• May 5, 2016

• #14

I had legendary flatulence long before I started smoking a pipe. I do not believe the two to be related, at least in terms of decibel level. I cannot give out any information on the smell as mine do not stink.

 

phil67

Lifer

Dec 14, 2013

2,052

7

• May 5, 2016

• #15

@ mcitinner1
Agreed, that about says it all with this subject.

 

bonehed

Part of the Furniture Now

Nov 27, 2014

636

0

• May 5, 2016

• #16

At room temperature and standard pressure, methane is a colorless, odorless gas.

More recent evidence proves that the major contribution to the smell of flatus comes from a combination of volatile sulfur compounds (VSC). It is known that hydrogen sulfide (H2S), methyl mercaptan, MM (also known as methanethiol, MT), dimethyl sulfide (DMS), dimethyl disulfide (DMDS) and dimethyl trisulfide (DMTS) are present in flatus.

I just read far too much about this...

 

prairiedruid

Lifer

Jun 30, 2015

2,004

1,135

• May 5, 2016

• #17

Bonehed = Fartologist

 

cobguy

Lifer

Oct 18, 2013

3,742

15

• May 5, 2016

• #18

Oh, then I can drive a PriASS.

Click to expand...

:rofl:

 

mso489

Lifer

Feb 21, 2013

41,210

60,454

• May 5, 2016

• #19

"Fart proudly." --Ben Franklin (I think this may be an authentic quote.)
In France in the 19th Century, there were dance hall performers who performed songs by releasing flatulence. I'm not sure how they sustained the tune past the first few bars, but so they did.

 

deathmetal

Lifer

Jul 21, 2015

7,714

32

• May 5, 2016

• #20

http://www.johnbarber.com/pujol.html
Even better, his name was Joseph Pujol (pronounced "poo hole").