OMG this guy has issues

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nsfisher

Lifer
Nov 26, 2011
3,566
20
Nova Scotia, Canada
Wow this guy really needs to see a doctor. I know its just a review but he has some deep seated feelings!!!! This was taken off the Tobacco Reviews.
As I take a puff of 1792 I am i am whisked away to a time that is much simpler that this one. A time with out the hub-ub of huge cities. A time where a man shaved the traditional way. A time when you could strike a woman for her insolence and it was okay. A time before the races mixed. And a time when you could still own other people. I'm taken back to 1792.

As I take more puffs I experience the same feeling that the founding fathers had when they doctored the Declaration of Independence and the Bill of Rights. That same wonderful feeling that lets you say "All men are created equally" yet at the same time still own hundreds of slaves and be fathering children with them and not see any hypocrisy in your life style. The same feeling that makes you okay with building a country on Christian principals and at the same time, commit adultery on your wife 1000 times over!
As I reach the middle of the bowl I am reminded of how pleasant it is to be with the Whores of the 18th Century and how great the brothels must have been that helped release the stress of the men who built this fine country such as George Washington and Benjamin Franklin.
My senses are then further entreated when the bowl becomes so strong. The tobacco seems to take on emotion. Emotion similar to the emotion Aaron Burr must have felt when he murdered Alexander Hamilton in semi-cold blood. Back when you could duel your enemy, pretend to be a gentleman about it, but just shoot him in the face and blow him away rather than do the social acceptable thing and fire above his head. The same raw EMOTION that let us pour boiling hot tar all over naked, kidnapped British officials that were just doing their jobs.
Oh how it made me long to be back in the days where children were seen and not heard. Where voting was left to the MEN and when women knew their rightful place; in the kitchen NOT smoking a pipe. How it made me yearn to be back 200 years ago when getting away with murder would have been so easy with all that we know now! Oh and how I would have MADE IT with the ladies; with all the advanced techniques that 200 years brings of collective male knowledge brings! I could have been a pimp!
As the bowl began to finish it was grand. It was as if I was breathing the same smoke that the patriots breathed when they decided to make war against the strongest empire in the world just to prove a point. It was as if Ben Franklin was teaching me how to choose a mistress and cheat on my wife right before my very eyes rather than me reading it in his letter " Advice to a Young Man on the Choice of a Mistress".
As the bowl ended so did my "trip" back in time. I came back to reality where I can't hit my wife or kids. A place where smokers are treated like second class citizens when really women should be treated that way. I'm brought back to a time when my children cannot be beat as they should be. I'm brought back to reality and my day dream is over... until next time when I light up with 1792

 

ace57

Lifer
Jun 21, 2011
2,145
1
WOW! :crazy: Wait untill Cyndi reads this one, LOOK out. She will tell it like it is. Go get em girl!

 

hobojoe

Can't Leave
Jun 15, 2011
346
1
That is a genuine hard boiled EGGHEAD Or as The best actor said.
"Meat Head"
Now When Men were Men-----Thats long gone. Now you have to do the Crocodile Dundee check.

 

drsam

Starting to Get Obsessed
Sep 25, 2011
219
0
If this is not a parody This fellow would be a scary nest door neighbor!

 

juvat270

Part of the Furniture Now
Aug 1, 2011
557
1
If it was done in jest, it was done in poor taste.
This guy sorta reminds me of another fellow on there. His reviews consist of page long "stories" that read like a crappy, third rate romance novel. They rarely make any sense and tell you little to nothing about the blend that, I guess he thinks he's reviewing. Pointless and stupid, much like what this guy wrote. :crazy:

 

jameral

Part of the Furniture Now
Nov 29, 2011
700
0
San Mateo
For the sake of progress of humanity I hope brewshooter is right. Otherwise...keep this guy away from women and children. :crazy:

 

brewshooter

Lifer
Jun 2, 2011
1,658
3
I actually thinks it's fairly well done if it is a joke, but would also say that it is completely useless on a tobacco review site. It gives me NO idea what to expect from this tobacco. Quite honestly, I've smoked 1792 many times and NEVER experienced any of the things he's talking about. I'd probably smoke it a whole lot less if I did!!!!

 

yuri66

Starting to Get Obsessed
Nov 17, 2010
287
0
Not sure what the guy was trying to do? Asides maybe start a riot on the pages. But he was creative in his writing, not saying I apporveor agree to any of it. I agree hes got a screw or two loose even if it was just to cause a ruckus. :crazy:

 

brewshooter

Lifer
Jun 2, 2011
1,658
3
I also wonder if it might have been in response to some similar reviews. I have seen some reviewers talking about how a tobacco takes them back to their childhood on the lake with their grandfather and they end up telling me NOTHING about the tobacco. I'm curious if this was meant as a jab?

 

harrumphicus

Starting to Get Obsessed
Dec 9, 2011
136
0
The Water
At least part troll... I think it was a well executed satire of some of the darker things in our country's past that haven't exactly been put on the front page of the newspaper.

 

cyndi

Lifer
Nov 14, 2009
1,049
0
Flowery Branch, GA
If he really got into some ugly parts of history instead of the parts that rile people up, it would be about children dying from diarrhea and how he was getting the French pox from those whores. How only the top 2% owned slaves so that means he would likely be just as poor as those slaves and too busy working to visit his beloved whores. He'd be talking about losing babies and sometimes their mothers in childbirth and how common doctors used rusty fleams to bleed people to get their humors back in alignment.
There's much nastier stuff in history than men hit women and some people owned slaves. It just doesn't get brought up constantly.

 

harrumphicus

Starting to Get Obsessed
Dec 9, 2011
136
0
The Water
@Cyndi - Very true, but those things aren't brought up because we've solved the issue on the home-front. Apparently some people still don't realize that it's not ok to treat women and children and minorities like possessions. You don't much hear about people attempting at-home medicine these days, so it's mostly out of the realm of political statements.
Just my two cents on the matter, don't take me too seriously! :D

 
Jul 15, 2011
2,363
31
I have followed this guy with some interest on tobacco reviews. He rips off popular scenes from movies and lyrics from popular songs when doing his reviews of Kajun Kake and Billy Budd. Pipe Friend on youtube got wise to his game and bashed him in a video that I thought was really funny. Have a look:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0tNIYap4-Jo

 
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