Observation on Good Practices

pipebuddy · Jan 27, 2018

After having recently sold some pipes to other members of this distinguished forum, I would like to share one observation regarding good practices during sales as we are between gentlemen.

To the point: Courtesy must matter and must be key.

Let me explain. If a seller gives you priority over other buyers for an item (for example, you have contacted the seller before others interested in the same item) but you are not satisfied with what he asks, it would be nice to do one of the following: a) make a counteroffer; or b) let him know you are not interested anymore.

This way, the seller can promptly turn to another potential buyer and close the deal with him. :wink:

Yes. It sure is one's right not to say anything when faced with such a situation. However, I firmly believe it goes against courtesy and is, thus, not a good practice. Especially when considering the fact that others also want the same item. For choosing to remain silent can have consequences which are detrimental to the seller. By the time he understands the person who has been given priority is not interested anymore, the sale of the item to another interested buyer could not go through-for various reasons.

And this is, well, not cool.

So, in summary, if I may: when you are engaged in a transaction with a seller, please do let him know when you are not interested anymore.

I think this will allow members to fully benefit from this great tradition.

Cheers. :puffpipe:

warren · Jan 27, 2018

Not too much to ask, certainly. Certainly too much to expect from some. I'm a show me the money kind of vendor when selling camera gear. I will give personal friends some leeway though.

balkisobrains · Jan 27, 2018

The buyer stepped in front of everyone else and ended up getting you to obligate yourself to him. Realistically it is too much to expect buyers to respond to anything. (Though it is possible that he could not have been able to.) But, instead of waiting for a response, the better course of action in your situation would have been to field the offer (maybe put "Good for 24 hours" on it next time) yet still continue on with your original plan to try and sell the pipes to others. If you have a second buyer who will pay what you want, take it, and then you can notify the first guy in a gentlemanly way that he was too slow!
: puffy

:

sablebrush52 · Jan 27, 2018

Courtesy would be nice, but few people naturally observe it. Basically, when I am in negotiations I make it clear to the other party that I am under no obligation until an agreement is reached. In a sale, that means payment. In other business negotiations that means a signed contract. It keeps me free of foreign entanglement, and as far as I'm concerned , the other party is equally free.

cigrmaster · Jan 27, 2018

If I were going to sell something I would make it clear that the first person who pays gets the goods. It is fine if someone wants to think about it, but they need to know that if you snooze, you lose.

lasttango · Jan 27, 2018

I would hope that courtesy would be the norm here. So far, in my experience it has been quite good here. Should anyone break this covenant here, they should be relegated to the Licorice Pipe Forum...
In the real world however, I'm with Thomas Hobbes, James Madison, Nietzsche, Charles Bukowski, Holden Caulfield most nihilists and that "People Suck" bumper sticker.

warren · Jan 27, 2018

Covenants are written contracts, guarantees, etc. What covenant are you writing of? Your "real world" attitude is the safest.
Always expect the worst out of people. That way you are never disappointed and sometimes ... pleasantly surprised.

ssjones · Jan 27, 2018

I've sold a lot of pipes here. Many times, folks have committed and made the payment when funds were available (obviously the pipe was not shipped till payment made). I don't think anyone's failed to follow through on that gentleman's agreement.
Occasionally someone will express interest, and I won't hear anything further. But that is rare, by my experience.

ssjones · Jan 27, 2018

I do need to move this out of the Buy/Sell/Trade section (Now General Discussion)

chilipalmer · Jan 27, 2018

"Good manners cost nothing."

- Lemmy Kilmister

philobeddoe · Jan 27, 2018

This has happened to me as well, I believe the term for it is “ghosting”, when one party just stops conversing, with no warning and no cause. This appears to be a growing trend amongst a certain age demographic, they often end relationships the same way, they just stop answering calls and messages, it’s as if the very act of saying that they are no longer interested is too overwhelming to them. Not to sound too much like an old bastard, but I think that texting, e-mailing, Facebook etc., these faceless, voiceless communications have contributed to a general loosening of societal manners and etiquette. Please feel free to flame away!

lasttango · Jan 27, 2018

Warren, maybe covenant was way too strong. I think you are pretty wise and I always admire your pragmatism. I'm teaching Hailee Selassie's appeal to the League of Nations and that word just stuck in my head.

sablebrush52 · Jan 27, 2018

Not to sound too much like an old bastard, but I think that texting, e-mailing, Facebook etc., these faceless, voiceless communications have contributed to a general loosening of societal manners and etiquette. Please feel free to flame away!

You do not sound like an old bastard. Remember, you gave your age in that other thread. In any event, I agree with you.

huntertrw · Jan 27, 2018

We need to return to the days when a contract was a contract, such as described here (Contracts 101).

warren · Jan 27, 2018

The electronic age has simply increased our exposure to deadbeats and assh***s. Before we only had to deal with the few in our town and they were quickly identified. Now, CL, and others vending platforms make us accessible to every dipstick in the world with a computer.
Self-centered people have been around for ever Probably before we started moving around on two legs. (Surely a mistake of nature I decry to this day.) They have no concern/consideration for others nor, should they be expected to.
Hell, when I was a paperboy (sixty years ago), there were always a couple of my customers trying to stiff me every month.

sablebrush52 · Jan 27, 2018

I have a couple of very quaint practices. One of them is my word being my bond. Consequently I'm very careful about giving my word, and only to people whom I know and trust. Well earned and practiced trust has its advantages from time to time.

badbeard · Jan 27, 2018

I think that texting, e-mailing, Facebook etc., these faceless, voiceless communications have contributed to a general loosening of societal manners and etiquette. Please feel free to flame away!

I was thinking this same thing as I read through the initial and subsequent posts. All mediums in the above list allow you to "socialize" without any of the risks/rewards involved with in person communication. There is very little perceived accountability when you are typing words into a phone or a computer. Especially when mixed with a generation that has been raised on a melange of non-confrontation, anti-criticism, and an overall aversion to any type of assertive behavior. I wouldn't say that it's restricted just to one generation though, just more common in the recent ones =)

derekflint · Jan 27, 2018

The priority you speak of must come with a time limit. If that limit is not met, you can assume he's not interested and move on.I also agree with what philo said.....

jpmcwjr · Jan 27, 2018

...I think that texting, e-mailing, Facebook etc., these faceless, voiceless communications have contributed to a general loosening of societal manners and etiquette.

Absolutely. And Snapchat, Twitter, Match.com and other faceless methods, including discussion boards~ (!)

Observation on Good Practices

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