I find that I need a few things. Call them new man-toys if you will, but here are the "new necessities" I've discovered that are on the list:
1. Endless pipes, especially a Dunhill, whether it actually smokes well or not. Gotta have a stem with a white spot on it.
2. Even more endless tobacco blends.
3. A new microwave for drying the "wet" blends.
4. A quality badger shaving brush.
5. A straight razor. (Have had one before, but left it when wife was fiancée and it has disappeared.)
6. A quality safety razor, just in case I find that I am now clumsy with the straight razor.
7. Japanese water stones for honing said straight razor.
8. A leather strop for tuning up straight razor.
9. Several good quality soaps for lathering up with the badger brush. Must find the best scent, so must buy several, like pipe tobacco blends.
10. A new pair of cargo pants to carry more electronic gadgetry and to type PM Forums comments while on the check out line at local supermarket.
11. A bigger belly to hold up said cargo pants and gadgets in pockets.
12. Must build a screened in porch with firepit to go out and smoke without getting smoke on windows.
13. Several hundred cases of Ball mason jars of assorted sizes to store tobaccos that I buy that "Sound interesting."
14. Must build a new climate-controlled cellar for storing all of the mason jars and aging tobacco properly.
15. A complete wood shop with routers, chisels, jig saws, band saws, drill press, stains, waxes, and all necessary bits, so I can build the ultimate pipe rack to dry the pipe collection.
16. An armload of books to carry while puffing on my pipe, so people will think I might be a famous author.
17. A bell to ring. (See below.)
18. A Ferrari to drive while puffing on my way to the local post office to pick up PAD and TAD orders.
19. A pipe babe or two to bring the pretzels and beer when I ring the bell while I watch Monday Night Football, tv remote in one hand, pipe in the other, as my wife writes her latest novel, "Confessions of a Football Widow" in the next room.
20. Latest copy of The Chicago Manual of Style and Strunk & White, so Lawrence won't "9" me on here.
Yep, that oughtta do it (for starters, anyway!)
1. Endless pipes, especially a Dunhill, whether it actually smokes well or not. Gotta have a stem with a white spot on it.
2. Even more endless tobacco blends.
3. A new microwave for drying the "wet" blends.
4. A quality badger shaving brush.
5. A straight razor. (Have had one before, but left it when wife was fiancée and it has disappeared.)
6. A quality safety razor, just in case I find that I am now clumsy with the straight razor.
7. Japanese water stones for honing said straight razor.
8. A leather strop for tuning up straight razor.
9. Several good quality soaps for lathering up with the badger brush. Must find the best scent, so must buy several, like pipe tobacco blends.
10. A new pair of cargo pants to carry more electronic gadgetry and to type PM Forums comments while on the check out line at local supermarket.
11. A bigger belly to hold up said cargo pants and gadgets in pockets.
12. Must build a screened in porch with firepit to go out and smoke without getting smoke on windows.
13. Several hundred cases of Ball mason jars of assorted sizes to store tobaccos that I buy that "Sound interesting."
14. Must build a new climate-controlled cellar for storing all of the mason jars and aging tobacco properly.
15. A complete wood shop with routers, chisels, jig saws, band saws, drill press, stains, waxes, and all necessary bits, so I can build the ultimate pipe rack to dry the pipe collection.
16. An armload of books to carry while puffing on my pipe, so people will think I might be a famous author.
17. A bell to ring. (See below.)
18. A Ferrari to drive while puffing on my way to the local post office to pick up PAD and TAD orders.
19. A pipe babe or two to bring the pretzels and beer when I ring the bell while I watch Monday Night Football, tv remote in one hand, pipe in the other, as my wife writes her latest novel, "Confessions of a Football Widow" in the next room.
20. Latest copy of The Chicago Manual of Style and Strunk & White, so Lawrence won't "9" me on here.
Yep, that oughtta do it (for starters, anyway!)
