My Dad Died Ten Years Ago Tonight

boilermakerandy · Dec 15, 2014

We live in Georgia and my mom called me just before midnight 12/15/2004 from Indiana to tell me my father had died but I was asleep and confused when my wife woke me and handed me the phone. After I hung up the phone I went downstairs, poured a Scotch and tried to comprehend what the hell had just happened. My mother knew I was confused and had my uncle Tom (my dad's brother) called me back to break the news a second time.
I asked him what the hell was going on? He told me what I didn't want to hear. I guess I was in denial. My dad was only 61. I hate December 15th.

tbradsim1 · Dec 15, 2014

Feel for you son , it's always painful. Time does not heal all wounds.

crazypipe · Dec 15, 2014

So very sorry for your lost, I know to well how you must feel. All my folks are gone even my wife.

May GOD hold you in his hand and grant you peace.

boilermakerandy · Dec 15, 2014

I miss my dad terribly everyday. I'm 49 and I hope I live longer than dad did not because I want a long life but because I want my kids and grandkids (someday) to not suffer the loss my kids and I did when he died. Our oldest who is now 17 cried all the way home from Georgia to Indiana when it happened and our hearts broke for him, the other two younger kids remember him but not a lot. Heart problems run in our family and most of us check out pretty early. I've lived long enough that I don't care much about living for myself but I do hope to stick around for kids and grandkids (when we have them). This night, along with Dec 12th when my dad's dad died at 63 in 1977, is always a tough one.

puffy · Dec 15, 2014

I'm really sorry for your loss.It's something about life that we hate to face.Most of us do have to deal with it though.My parents have been gone for several years now.We can't replace them,but we have to go on with our lives...Hold on to his memory.

boilermakerandy · Dec 15, 2014

So very sorry for your lost, I know to well how you must feel. All my folks are gone even my wife.

May GOD hold you in his hand and grant you peace.

Thank you Teddy,
Parents passing is expected but I can't imagine losing my wife, she's my best friend and soulmate, if she passed before me I think I would roll over and die. God bless you.

mephistopheles · Dec 16, 2014

Feel better, Andy.

dottiewarden · Dec 16, 2014

Hold on to his memory.

Keep him close as I do with my dear Grampa who died 45 years ago at age 60. I was just 11 and didn't understand much at the time, but I still feel him with me to this day.

fnord · Dec 16, 2014

Andy:
I'll remember you & yours and the souls of the departed in my prayers tonight.
Bradley's right, of course. Some wounds never heal but time, and I do mean serious time, can take the edge off the hurt. The pain is still there but hopefully not as intense.
Peace, brother.
Fnord

boilermakerandy · Dec 16, 2014

Keep him close as I do with my dear Grampa who died 45 years ago at age 60. I was just 11 and didn't understand much at the time, but I still feel him with me to this day.

Same here. My grandpa died at 63 in 1977, my sister and I cried for weeks. I still don't understand.
I just left the room for a while and my wife asked me if it was because of my dad, I told her I got smoke in my eyes and she didn't believe me. I really miss him.

boilermakerandy · Dec 16, 2014

I made a double post and deleted it so here's a prayer in its place to very one of you who has lost a loved one too soon.
God Bless.

tbradsim1 · Dec 16, 2014

Son you've got to put the brave face for your family even though your insides are tearing up. My Father could not make the decision to pull the plug on my Mom, I had to, she died in my arms, 6 yrs later I watched my Dad pass away one night from Brain Cancer, your family is your guiding light now, treasure that you were a good son and now the example for your family. I apologize I usually don't talk this much but you put a heart on my heart.

boilermakerandy · Dec 16, 2014

Son you've got to put the brave face for your family even though your insides are tearing up. My Father could not make the decision to pull the plug on my Mom, I had to, she died in my arms, 6 yrs later I watched my Dad pass away one night from Brain Cancer, your family is your guiding light now, treasure that you were a good son and now the example for your family. I apologize I usually don't talk this much but you put a heart on my heart.

Thanks, my friend. You may not talk a lot but what you just said is priceless.

brass · Dec 16, 2014

I lost my Dad a couple of years ago, this time of the year. I've also lost two younger brothers and aunts and uncles and grandparents and friends. At some point you realize getting older sucks, not because you're more likely to die but because so many of those you love die before you. And you learn to love fiercely those that are still with you.
The hurt never really leaves, but you do learn to live with it.
God bless your father and all those you love and who love you.
Pax

griffonwing · Dec 16, 2014

I lost my twin brother 6 1/2 years ago, and my younger brother and grand-father 2 years before that. Their loss is still heavy at times.
Both of my brothers served in the military, both were in their mid 30s when they passed. Both passed away from chemotherapic complications while battling T-Cell Non-Hodgkins Lymphoma. I know that early to mid 30s is far too young for this type of disease.
Be strong for your family.

newbroom · Dec 16, 2014

We all suffer the loss that death presents at its own whim.

I was reading something this a.m. about the idea that there is no death. It's just an idea you haven't had yet.

Yuh. We're all just ideas.

My dad died too. He died because of a medical problem that was treatable, but his doctors had no idea.

A brother was murdered. Best friends have gone to suicide, heart attack,home renovation accidents and cancer.

Each time I survive their demise it enriches my own sense of their influence on my life and adds to my litany of remarkable people who have lived.

phred · Dec 16, 2014

Sorry for your loss, Andy.

indianafrank · Dec 16, 2014

Andy, no matter what any of us say, the words will not take away the pain you feel. Like you and others on the forum, I lost my parents also, approximately 10 years ago. The pain and loss one feels I don't think ever goes away. That's because of the love we hold for them. The best thing to do is to cherish your family and friends, and be grateful for what you have.
I to will hold you in prayer!

brudnod · Dec 16, 2014

My brother died this past January. The 1st year anniversary will be difficult. He was admittedly 65 at his death but loosing a close family member is always tough. Anniversaries when they fall on holidays are the worst but it is never good. The wounds heal - sort of. I'll be thinking of you and wish you a pain-free holiday. As a fellow native Georgian, I'm with you there brother...

mso489 · Dec 16, 2014

boilermaker, my condolences. The pain never goes away, but luckily often good memories come back. My dad died

Dec. 19, 2006, at 89, licensed to drive without glasses. He was a great dad for a son. He left me with a lot of family

lore, many skills although I didn't always perfect them as he did, and many skills for enjoying life as well as accepting

responsibility. I think of him with his boyhood dog Spot, a bold and smart little terrier that shared his growing up.

My Dad Died Ten Years Ago Tonight

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