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cmdrmcbragg

Lifer
Jul 29, 2013
1,739
3
Brothers,
I am a journalism student who is on his last week of the semester. As such I have a final paper due this Wednesday. The class is Column Writing and I chose to write about the pipe smoking community. I am going to post what I wrote below and I am mainly looking for feedback if you think it is a good snapshot of the hobby. I have a word limit (which the below is still slightly over) so I can't make major additions without making major subtractions. This is due Wednesday morning so I'm open to any suggestions or comments from now until Tuesday evening.
Here we go and please, all suggestions and/or constructive criticism are appreciated.

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________
There are a lot of things to be enjoyed in life, for some -including myself- one of those is lighting up a pipe and puffing away on a good tobacco blend.

I picked up pipe tobacco smoking last year around summertime as a natural offshoot of my cigarette and cigar smoking. I mean, I was doing the only other two ways to really smoke tobacco, why not try the third? I did and it was an experience that lead me to put down the cigarettes, the worst of the bunch as far as society and I are concerned.

Pipe smoking has a special seat in the minds of the public. Cigar smoking could be said to be something that the affluent do due to its usage in advertising and movies. But pipe smoking is generally held as something that the bright or eccentric engage in.

Some influential and recognizable people have been associated with pipe smoking, or were avid puffers themselves: Albert Einstein, General Douglas MacArthur, General George Patton, Mark Twain, JRR Tolkien, Jacques Cousteau, Joseph Stalin, Julius Oppenheimer and many others.

Those real people almost all stand in the shadow of probably the most famous pipe smoker of all, the fictional private investigator, Sherlock Holmes. Holmes is always depicted in pictures with a large calabash pipe, the signature sharp nose and his deerstalker cap. This image is one most would conjure up when thinking about someone who smokes a pipe.

I am none of those men though, but by smoking a pipe there is a loose association with them so long as I don’t act or speak like a dummy.

The history behind it all brings that nostalgia of yesteryears and for many of us that includes old family members. Like many in the pipe smoking community, our grandfathers may have smoked a pipe, mine did. I remember as a child my grandfather riding high on his tractor with a pipe clenched in his mouth as he bush hogged the field.

For those I have encountered in public while I am smoking some have recounted to me that the smell coming from my pipe reminds them of their grandpa. Those are positive experiences that hopefully bring a moment of fond memories to those I and other pipers encounter while out lunting, a British term that means to walk while smoking a pipe.

Aside from the enjoyment of doing something the old way, there is the aesthetics of the hobby when it comes to collecting. I have 10 pipes which may seem like a lot, but there are many within the pipe smoking community that far exceed my own modest collection. Pipes come in all sorts of shapes and sizes, and with the resurgence of the artisan pipes unique shapes that aren’t standard have begun to command admiration and hundreds of dollars per piece from the market.

But at the heart of it all is the tobacco itself. The pipes are nothing more than expensive pieces of woodwork without the leaf. There are literally hundreds if not thousands of blends from numerous brands and artisan blenders to smoke. What my granddad smoked is barely even the tip of the iceberg in the world of tobacco blends. One could’ve been comfortable with the basic selection from behind the drug store counter in the 1950s. Now thanks in large part to the internet and the growing community of pipe smokers, there is a Willie Wonka-esque plethora of blends to select: sweet smelling aromatics, rich Virginias, spicy Orientals, smoky English. There is a never-ending list of blends that it would be almost impossible to try them all.

I look at the tobacco blending market much the same way I do craft breweries. There are the top dog corporations in the pipe tobacco world that are experiencing a market share being taken from them the same as craft breweries are now doing to the big beer corporations. The pipe smoking world has had the doors blown wide open with the online marketplace.

The online pipe smoking community is undoubtedly a very niche bunch; most don’t know others in the real world that share in the same hobby. There are smoking clubs that meet locally and pipe and cigar shops are usually a likely place to run into fellow pipe smokers. That may change as more people are being brought into the fold by their own interest and younger smokers are being welcomed with open arms by the elders of the briar brotherhood.

 

sparrowhawk

Lifer
Jul 24, 2013
2,941
219
Cmd, before making my brief comments, it might help to know there was a time when I wrote professional articles for professional magazines; hold both a BA and MA in English; taught English in both public and private schools and in colleges. I say this not to crow about my own accomplishments, but to let you know that my thoughts on your writing carries a bit more weight that the average high school dropout.

Simply put, this is an excellent column. You sadly were not able to deal with the politically correct crowd concerning smoking and second-hand smoke, and this may be brought up as a reason to not present you with an "A", but in terms of tone, diction, readability, I found this a highly accomplished piece of writing. For some reason, perhaps because of the truncated nature of journalistic writing, the conclusion seems a little abrupt, but not enough to injure the writing. I don't think you have anything to worry about when you turn in this column. Let me know how it turns out; I'm confident you'll do well.

 

cmdrmcbragg

Lifer
Jul 29, 2013
1,739
3
Ok, fair points. My teacher is an old Italian that holds no punches (guess it comes with the heritage and so any years in the business), so I would expect he would agree with you about not finding a place for addressing the anti-smoking crowd more thoroughly than the brief mention I gave about society being anti-cigarette. I do agree the ending is a bit abrupt, that is going to require more editing to fit this all into a neat 700 words (the maximum allowed). Thanks for the comments, @sparrowhawk.

 

sparrowhawk

Lifer
Jul 24, 2013
2,941
219
Later today, I'll see if there are places where I can slice out some words, maybe enough to give you room for a full sentence at the end. I'll PM you with these edits.

 

escioe

Part of the Furniture Now
Oct 31, 2013
702
4
As an English teacher, the phrase 'a lot' just seems lazy to me. We have a word for it already, which is 'many.' I would say 'a great deal of' or something like that, but that's voice for you.

 

settersbrace

Lifer
Mar 20, 2014
1,565
5
I'm not a HS dropout nor a tenured English professor at an Ivy League school but thought you did an excellent job on your column. Although you did not mention the political side of things or the health related documentation available, I feel it is of no consequence since it really has no bearing on the points you are driving home in the piece. To casually mention those points in the space you have been allotted would. In my opinion, only dampen the enthusiasm and passion you are communicating to your readers pertaining to pipes, tobacco, collecting and the hobby in general. I can find venomous attacks on smoking almost anywhere and can find damn few venues in which to read on the positive aspects of our beloved hobby. My only suggestion would be to lengthen the list of prominent pipe smokers to include some of our past Presidents and possibly cinematic celebrities. Great column!

 

cmdrmcbragg

Lifer
Jul 29, 2013
1,739
3
@escioe, you're right, "a lot" is lazy. Things like that fall through the cracks sometimes when I am editing. Too comfortable using it and column writing allows for personal voice to be used.
@settersbrace, yeah, I didn't want to dampen the mood of the piece by throwing in too much gloom. I looked at this column as more a lifestyle spotlight than an overall informative on the subject. Wasn't trying to make an argument one way or another. I did go back and forth on how long the list should be, so I stuck with influential people. I may throw some presidents on there depending on editing of the rest of the body.
I'm not too worried about my writing as it pertains to this class. Generally my teacher likes what I turn in. I usually just get dinged for formatting, lazy/vague language and cliches ... which falls under "lazy" as well. Luckily I don't do it too often, but it does happen and I get a fair amount of grief for it. "What's this bullshit? Huh? I know you're better than this."

 

sparrowhawk

Lifer
Jul 24, 2013
2,941
219
Ouch, Settersbrace, I stuck my big fat foot in my equally fat mouth by sounding like a know-it-all elitist. Please accept my apologies if I sounded like I was belittling others by trumpeting my own academic background. It was ill-thought and ill-expressed. Again I apologize.

 

cmdrmcbragg

Lifer
Jul 29, 2013
1,739
3
No need for anyone to apologize, just looking for comments and background certainly helps add weight to them.

 
Aug 14, 2012
2,872
123
You asked for opinions, so don't become defensive when you get them. Honestly, I would give you a B or B- on this. B for boring and average. Spice it up a little. It should not be a chore to read it, which it was.

 

rangerearthpig

Part of the Furniture Now
Jan 5, 2014
858
1
Foggy, I didn't interpret any of cmdrmcbragg's posts as being defensive at all. He asked for critiques, and I felt like he was appreciative in receiving the responses given.
There are a few minor punctuation errors, and a conclusion paragraph at the end might be added. But, for a basic introductory article on piping, I thought it was well-rounded.

 

virginiacob

Can't Leave
Dec 30, 2013
450
7
Cmd,
I wasn't an English or Journalism major, but I have my BA in History and our research papers were critiqued quite a bit as well since we were expected to use proper grammatical punctuation, spelling, and sentence structure in our writing. Overall, I thought it was nicely written. Here are just a couple things that caught my attention:
1. Line 7 - You end the sentence with the preposition "in". While this can be occasionally acceptable, you typically want to avoid ending a sentence with a preposition. You might want to try and reword this sentence to avoid ending in a preposition or add to the sentence.
2. Lines 22-24 - This sentence seems to be a little awkward, I think you may need one more comma placed after "shapes" and you could probably do away with "that aren't standard" since you already refer to them as "unique". Also, I think you need an apostrophe after "artisan pipes" since you relate them to their "unique shapes".

 

condorlover1

Lifer
Dec 22, 2013
8,051
27,176
New York
@virginiacob you beat me to the punch. I just returned from City Island and was about to throw in my 2 cents worth. I thought, subject to a few grammatical twists, it was a well reasoned moot on the proposition.

 

cmdrmcbragg

Lifer
Jul 29, 2013
1,739
3
I wasn't becoming defensive @foggymountain, I was mostly agreeing with some of the comments and suggestions. All I did was explain my thought process and how I go about my writing. But thanks for the B/B- and the boring remarks.

 

admin

Smoking a Pipe Right Now
Staff member
Nov 16, 2008
8,773
4,976
St. Petersburg, FL
pipesmagazine.com
The word limit makes this more challenging. It is also a bit old fashioned, harking back to the days of print, when there was only so much space to be had for a newspaper column.
Anyway, in addition to Sparrowhawk's suggestion of addressing the "politically correct crowd", one other important aspect that is missing is regarding the relaxation / contemplative nature of pipe smoking. I think this is essential for a non-pipe-smoker to understand what is is all about.

 

condorlover1

Lifer
Dec 22, 2013
8,051
27,176
New York
This reminds me of a co-workers son who signed up for a degree and I was having fun doing all the essay work for him. By year two I was in the process of selecting the modules that would interest me that year when my co-worker found out and demanded said prodigy do the work himself. He dropped out and is now a pot farmer in Colorado!

 

cmdrmcbragg

Lifer
Jul 29, 2013
1,739
3
Good point, Kevin. See, that's why I came to the forum for some extra eyes on it. I'm just trying to tighten it up and I have never hammered out a paper/column on a personal leisure activity. I write quite a bit but usually about sports (I write for a baseball and a hockey website), history, politics or whatever is assigned in school.
My teacher knows how I write with his usual assignments, so I wanted to step outside my comfort zone and turn in something out of the norm.
@Condorlover1, while being a pot farmer isn't exactly a noble job or an occupation that contributes a great deal to society, it isn't a bad business to be in right now. I live in Colorado myself and that industry is beginning to take off. The tax revenue from the first few months after legalization was close to $2 million. That's just the taxes ...

 

spud

Starting to Get Obsessed
Apr 10, 2013
182
0
Since S Holmes is a fictional character.

Count Dracula is a fictional character.

Therefore, it must be O.K. to smoke a pipe because Sherlock did it.

Therefore, it must be O.K. to suck blood out of virginal young women. Because the Count did it.

I would delete the whole bit about S Holmes.

 

cortezattic

Lifer
Nov 19, 2009
15,147
7,638
Chicago, IL
I did and it was an experience that lead me to put down the cigarettes...
Should be "led".
There are a lot of things to be enjoyed in life, for some -including myself- one of those is lighting up a pipe...]
Should be "me".
The pipe smoking world has had the doors blown wide open with the online marketplace.
Consider abandoning the passive voice: The online marketplace blew the doors of the pipe smoking world wide open.
Those are positive experiences that hopefully bring a moment of fond memories to those I and other [whom] pipers encounter while out lunting, a British term that means to walk while smoking a pipe.
My suggested edits (above) to reduce wordiness.

Introducing the esoteric term, "lunting" seems gratuitous and a tad haughty. Nobody needs to know the new word you learned last week.

 
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