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tslex

tslex

Lifer
Jun 23, 2011
1,482
15
(Inspired by my own response in the Starcat thread.)
A few of my favorites:
Q: How many surrealists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: Fish
Q: How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: Only two, but it's hard to get them in there.
Q: How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?

A: Only one, but the light bulb has to want to change.
Q: How many radical feminists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: THAT'S NOT FUNNY!!
Q: How people does it take to screw in a light bulb in the Matrix?

A: There is no light bulb.
What say you all?

 
crazypipe

crazypipe

Lifer
Sep 23, 2012
3,484
0
Q: How many nuclear engineers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Seven. One to install the new bulb and six to figure out what to do with the old one for the next 10,000 years.

 
jeepnewbie

jeepnewbie

Part of the Furniture Now
Jul 12, 2013
952
157
Byron
www.facebook.com
How many soldiers does it take to change a light bulb?
Eight, six pulling guard on the area, one to radio higher HQ to report the light bulb causality, and the last one to screw in the replacement.
I tried to make a joke, I'm army after all. :lol:

 
kyriefurro

kyriefurro

Starting to Get Obsessed
Jul 14, 2013
223
3
Q: How many vikings does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: No thanks. The light from the burning monastery is sufficient.

 
warren

warren

Lifer
Sep 13, 2013
11,733
16,329
Foothills of the Chugach Range, AK
The rear echelon is always over staffed. I forget the ratio but it takes an lot of support, out of the line of fire, to support a rifleman or, in this case, the light bulb specialist. I presume there is an MOS for that specialty.

 
captainsousie

captainsousie

Lifer
Aug 1, 2012
4,603
5,160
Q: How many tuba players does it take to change a light bulb?
A: 1-5-1-5-1-5-1...
Alternately:
Q: How many tuba players does it take to change a light bulb?
A: 5 one to hold the bulb in the socket and the other 4 to drink until the room spins.
Q: How many trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Only one. He holds the bulb in the socket and the world revolves around him.
Q: How many altos does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None, they can't go that high.
Now off the topic.
A drummer falls of a cliff...ba-dump-bump

 
tslex

tslex

Lifer
Jun 23, 2011
1,482
15
Excellent guys.
Hey Stig, in the spirit of yours a non-bulb one:
Q. What do you call someone who works with musicians, spends all his time with musicians, is always seen in the company of musicians, but who is not himself a musician?
A: A drummer.

 
fnord

fnord

Lifer
Dec 28, 2011
2,746
8
Topeka, KS
Q: How many Episcopalians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: What do you mean change? My grandfather gave the church that light bulb!
Fnord

 
latbomber

latbomber

Part of the Furniture Now
May 10, 2013
570
4
How many pipe smokers does it take? 3. One to change the bulb and 2 to argue over whether the older productions of the light bulb were better!

 
crazypipe

crazypipe

Lifer
Sep 23, 2012
3,484
0
: How many divorcees does it take to change a lightbulb ?

A: None. The sockets all went with the house.

 
latbomber

latbomber

Part of the Furniture Now
May 10, 2013
570
4
Thank you warren I'll be here all week and kudos to the others as well! :worship:

 
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