If The Zombie Apocalypse Came Today, How Long Would Your Cellar Last?

namuna · Oct 18, 2013

As we all know, the zombie apocalypse is nigh. Food and drink being secondary to baccy (obviously), I'm wondering how long you could go with the cellars you have. Assuming about 10 bowls per ounce of tobacco.
I usually smoke 1 bowl a day and currently have 6 x 8oz mason jars each 1/2 filled with different blends and a couple of 100g tins of Orlik Golden Sliced. All in all, that's about a years worth of smoking.
How about you?

kcpoe · Oct 18, 2013

Mine would not last very long at all. Right now I just have a bunch of 1oz bags in mason jars. 2 1oz bags in the bag still, stuffed into the mason jar. I'm still sampling the course right now. I have found that MOST of the blends I have tried that contain the same tobacco mixture (VA / bur / cav) taste the same....maybe a little more VA here or a little more CAV...So, I think ill just stock up on what tastes the best and a mustache note that is good enough to eat!
Im workin on building up for the zombie apocolypse...just not there yet. Lord knows ill need my pipe while fighting zombies...a pipe gives you +5 to strength and dexterity.

shayde · Oct 18, 2013

Right now I have 3 pouches of like 1oz each. So I would guess not long, however, I am quiet convinced that all the like-minded pipe smokers in the community being as warm and friendly and pipe smokers are would agree to take me into the group as we march for the local B&M slaying any and all zombies that stand between us and tobacco heaven. Once we secured the building we'd then go to the less classy B&M that we usually wouldn't be caught dead at and take all the pipes and tobacco back to the nicer B&M. Upon arrival I would imagine we'd all so around claiming a tin for ourselves to celebrate the victory. Then once we all had chilled from the adrenaline pumping, nerve racking, zombie slaying we would decide on how best to ration the tobacco. With pipe smokers being the only trust worthy people in the world we'd be fine for as long as we planned for. Plus the B&M is full of cigars and RYO cigarettes, if the craving got too bad you'd just switch your method of smoking and shazaam, disaster averted.

mustanggt · Oct 18, 2013

It won't be any cheaper than it is today so stock up as much as you can. The taxes are going to kill us on all tobacco products very soon so get it now. Good for barter if you get roll your own stuff. I have 15+ years I'll be fine.

pylorns · Oct 18, 2013

I have 4lbs or 64 ounces total right now of various tins and bulk. Using same assumption 10 bowls per ounce 640 bowls I generally smoke around 2-3 bowls per day. So just under a years worth.. OMG I've got a serious problem, time for a TAD.

mrjerke · Oct 18, 2013

My cellar says I have over 8 lbs cellared and another 20 open containers. At 1 bowl per day I'm good for 5 years. I tend to smoke 2-4 on weekends and 1-2 on weekdays. Problem is I could be stocked for the next 30 years and not stop buying tobacco!

pipeherman · Oct 18, 2013

Ran out of tobacco yesterday. Have to wait until monday until my new order comes. So I might not even make it to the Zombie apoclypse!
Either way I wish you all the best of luck my Brothers!
: puffy

:

mrenglish · Oct 18, 2013

Lets hope zombies cannot smell pipe tobacco.
About 12 years or so.

burlpettibon · Oct 18, 2013

I only have about 2 or so months worth but I cant wait to see cigrmaster comment on here. I get hints of his Fort Knox like collection but to get an actual number will be magical.

lowfrequency538 · Oct 18, 2013

Let's see... I just hit the 100lb milestone for my cellar this week.
At my rate of smoking, with about two bowls a day, thats a little over 20 years.
If I stopped buying now, I wouldn't need anymore until I was 50.

peckinpahhombre · Oct 18, 2013

I only have about 2 or so months worth but I cant wait to see cigrmaster comment on here. I get hints of his Fort Knox like collection but to get an actual number will be magical.

Yeah, it is disgraceful how much tobacco he has. His hoarding is one of the reasons the rest of us can't find enough tobacco.

teufelhund · Oct 18, 2013

If I continue to smoke at my current rate I expect 1-2 years. I expect that would increse because I wouldn't have much else to do so maybe a year to be safe. No biggie though I'd run out of food in a month. If I'd venture out for food may as well for baccy also.

pylorns · Oct 18, 2013

hmm, come to think of it - I'd run out of matches and lighter fluid/butane before I run out of tobacco. Time to stock up on that!

sallow · Oct 18, 2013

I'd run out of matches and lighter fluid/butane before I run out of tobacco

And pipe cleaners.
I've got about 16 pounds, so three years and some change.

tarak · Oct 18, 2013

If it hit, and I expected to live, I'd cut back to a bowl per week as a treat. Based on that, and adding a few special days where I'd smoke a couple....around 15 years.

gripsie · Oct 18, 2013

Not very long, in Germany there are no guns, so I would have to lock myself up in my apartment and would start smoking my pipes 24/7...

msandoval858 · Oct 18, 2013

I'm at about 40lb roughly, mixed bulk and tins. So... based on the math that's about 6400 bowls.
Yeah, I need to get some more cellared away

rickpal14 · Oct 18, 2013

I am with rothn. My goal is about 10 years worth. I have just cracked the 20 lb mark and am working towards a total of 50 lbs.

igloo · Oct 18, 2013

The jigs about up , in April 2014 the credit card companies will be encoding transactions by product types and you will be taxed accordingly .

rcstan · Oct 18, 2013

I'll seek refuge at work ( SPC ) and won't have to worry about baccy. 1/10 oz / 2.8 g bowls are mighty big bowls in my book, usually 1 g per, 5 bowls a day, I am sitting on about 1200 days at that consumption rate in my stash/cellar at home.
As for the taxes, it is what it is. I neither smoke pounds a month, nor can I afford to get $500 worth at once, so no issues.

If The Zombie Apocalypse Came Today, How Long Would Your Cellar Last?

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