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joshwolftree

Part of the Furniture Now
So I overslept do to fighting neighbors keeping me up. I pulled into the parking lot at work with 2 minutes to spare. I'm pulling a hair tie into my hair to make up for the fact that I didn't have time to comb it, when my manager hits me on the interoffice instant message system to call me to his office....shit...what is it this time? 24 hours to train myself on a new product I don't even have access to before the calls start rolling in? Bad quality call. I start reviewing calls in my head...I haven't cussed anybody out tor told them off without the mute button on this month. What the heck does he want? I grab my headset in case I have to listen to myself taking a call(standard procedure for quality calls) and make my way over.

Manager: (sullen look)"Have a seat Josh"

me: (crap)"allright"

Manager: (same almost I hate to do this to you expression) "So I've got to talk to you about this"(starts pulling some papers out of his desk drawer)"The company did a review of the payroll for this department."

Me:(well F%^& it's the layoff talk)

Manager: (still the same expression) "and they were concerned with the numbers that came back. Right now your in the top 10% of the department for pay scale"

ME:(I've been here four gorram years and most of the department has been here less than a year I better be in the top friggin 10%)

Manager: "when compared to the industry average your making below average" (shit eating grin) "so effective immediately your receiving a $1.40 per hour raise to your base pay in order to bring you up to industry average. This will be reflected on your next paycheck, and of course your late night shift diff is calculated of this new base pay number as well as any additional pay for the hour's you work on the weekend."

Me: "do wha now"

Manager: (slides me the papers) "here's your info on it...congrats...don't say anything to anyone I've still got half the department to tell. And honestly the looks on everybody's face is the best part."

Me: "I'm not sure wether I should be happy you gave me the good news, or call you a dick for the way you did it"
So I've gotten a decent sized raise and I'm off tommorow with some extra money in my pocket. If any of you quessed that that means a celebratory trip to the B&M your absolutely correct. Watch out J.B.Hayes of Winchester Josh is coming he's gunning for your estate pipes.
Edit: I just realized this is probably better in general discussion than here so if one of you amazingly talented mods could move it, preferably without beating me about the head and shoulders too much, I would be greatly appreciative, and may even name my new pipe after you :) *EDIT* - Done... -Jason

 

wnghanglow

Part of the Furniture Now
Mar 25, 2012
695
0
Oh man I saw that wall of text and I thought somebody died, you just played the same trick on me your boss played on you! Congradulations okc your raise though :)

 

joshwolftree

Part of the Furniture Now
I have a fair sized family of coyotes as "neighbors".

I wish, I used to have coyotes as neighbors and at least a .22 cal can take care of them,when you really can't sleep through it anyway. I'm in apt building now. I think the woman upstairs is on heroin, I know she used to be, and a few months ago her grown son and her got into a fight where she told him he's not welcome in her home anymore. From what he told me after she's back on heroin again. This time it was her boyfriend and her and I'm fairly certain every dish and piece of furniture in the place got involved. The police were notified, which means hopefully it'll be Monday before bail can be posted and I'll get some sleep this weekend. I hate coming to her defense since her drug issue is the root of the problem. But at the same time I can't let a guy beat on a girl. And seriously her son needs a role model. He and the boyfriend both call her things I couldn't say in front of a woman, for fear of the back of my dad's hand driving every tooth in my head into my bowels, and can't say here for fear of the wrath of Kevin doing the same to my account.

 

rmbittner

Lifer
Dec 12, 2012
2,759
1,994
Congratulations! Too, too rare to get news like that these days. Well done!
But, honestly, I think this thread could have gone in General Pipe Smoking. . . since it's likely all of that extra cash is just going to go to more pipes and tobaccos. :)

 

joshwolftree

Part of the Furniture Now
so my trip to J.B.Hayes was great. Followed by lunch with my sister.

and I would say I found the perfect pipe to patch the hole the money was burning into my pocket.

My first real block meer

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