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condorlover1

Lifer
Dec 22, 2013
7,994
26,609
New York
This is probably quite an old one and I have been told the story dates back to the 1940s but every now and again it does the rounds again amongst the ambulance chasers in my social circle and arrived today in my AOL in box whilst I was drinking my coffee. This time it has appeared in the guise of an Australian Workman's Compensation Application Form which makes it all the more amusing. Anyway without further ado I give you the 'Barrel of Bricks' claim form.........
Dear Sir:
I am writing in response to your request for additional information in

Block 3 of the accident report form. I put "poor planning" as the cause

of my accident. You asked for a fuller explanation and I trust the

following details will be sufficient.
I am a bricklayer by trade. On the day of the accident, I was working

alone on the roof of a new six-story building. When I completed my work,

I found that I had some bricks left over which, when weighed later were

found to be slightly in excess of 500 lbs.
Rather than carry the bricks down by hand, I decided to lower them i n a

barrel by using a pulley, which was attached to the side of the building

on the sixth floor.
Securing the rope at ground level, I went up to the roof, swung the

barrel out and loaded the bricks into it. Then I went down and untied

the rope, holding it tightly to ensure a slow descent of the bricks.
You will note in Block 11 of the accident report form that I weigh 175

lbs.
Due to my surprise at being jerked off the ground so suddenly, I lost my

presence of mind and forgot to let go of the rope. Needless to say, I

proceeded at a rapid rate up the side of the building.
In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel, which was now

proceeding downward at an equal, impressive speed. This explained the

fractured skull, minor abrasions and the broken collar bone, as listed

in section 3 of the accident report form.
Slowed only slightly, I continued my rapid ascent, not stopping until

the fingers of my r ight hand were two knuckles deep into the pulley.

Fortunately by this time I had regained my presence of mind and was able

to hold tightly to the rope, in spite of beginning to experience a great

deal of pain.
At approximately the same time, however, the barrel of bricks hit the

ground and the bottom fell out of the barrel. Now devoid of the weight

of the bricks, that barrel weighed approximately 50 lbs. I refer you

again to my weight.
As you can imagine, I began a rapid descent, down the side of the

building. In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel coming

up. This accounts for the two fractured ankles, broken tooth and several

lacerations of my legs and lower body.
Here my luck began to change slightly. The encounter with the barrel

seemed to slow me enough to lessen my injuries when I fell into the pile

of bricks and fortunately only three vertebrae were cracked.
I am sorry to report, however, as I l ay there on the pile of bricks, in

pain, unable to move, I again lost my composure and presence of mind and

let go of the rope and I lay there watching the empty barrel begin its

journey back down onto me. This explains the two broken legs.
I hope this answers your inquiry
The chap should get a Darwin award!

 

warren

Lifer
Sep 13, 2013
11,699
16,207
Foothills of the Chugach Range, AK
Thanks Condor! Old wounds and great memories from that tune!
I like Mr. Drew's rendition of that tune best. "Why Paddy's Not a Work Today" is an Irish song that Ronnie Drew made his own around the world. I believe that song is 30 years old this year. And, now I have to go and listen to some Drew tunes. Perhaps, with a pint, ignoring the early hour up here.
Ronnie Drew, to me, was the quintessential Irish voice. Mr. Cooksey wrote a tremendous elegy to him. Sorry to side-track the thread. I really do miss Mr. Drew's presence. I suppose I'll be depressed all day. Well, at least until I get a bit o' the pint down.

 

mephistopheles

Part of the Furniture Now
Oct 14, 2014
545
0
I needed that. Thanks for sharing. Today has been rough; thank goodness it wasn't that rough.

 

crazypipe

Lifer
Sep 23, 2012
3,484
0
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