A good pipe has an ember and not a fire. Embers burn slowly and can maintain a burn for long-ish periods of time. A lot of fire in the pipe will make the mouth and tobacco hotter and will lead to pain and reduced/changed flavor. Too much heat can change the taste of the tobacco itself and make the flavors unpleasant, adding to that the fact that most mouths don't fare well with steam burns it makes a good case for a cooler, slower smoke.
Just like coaxing a new flame to make a campfire requires gentle airflow, coaxing a small bit of ember slowly through a pipe results in a more pleasant, less frustrating experience. It also takes a good bit of practice with packing, lighting technique and smoking cadence to get a pipe that doesn't go out and delivers that holy grail of a smooth, subtle smoke. I've been smoking steadily for the last 5-6 months and I still only get a perfect smoke some of the time. Don't worry about relighting, it comes with the territory.
Hopefully that makes some sort of sense.