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mau1

mau1

Lifer
Jan 5, 2018
1,124
837
Ontario, Canada
I was bouncing around this site, reading old posts, as is my habit, when I ran across an old thread by Cosmic, the "Escudo Affair", that had me laughing my ass off. It took me down memory lane...
I was about 20 years old, out shopping at the mall with my Dad. It was suppose to be a hit-and-run operation, with both of us picking up what we needed and vamoosing. Well, I finished up and went searching for the old man. When I finally found him, he was away in the distance, his back to me, jawing away with some other old gaffer (they're all old gaffers when you're 20). I waited near the exit for a bit, being as patient as a 20 year old can be, then decided to let him know it was time to go. As I walked up behind him, I noticed he had one leg of his pants tucked in to his winter boot, and the other outside of the boot. Offended by this fashion horror show, I leaned down and un-tucked the one pant leg, making everything right in the world once again. At this, the conversation stopped. Both gaffers turned to look at me. And I knew neither of them. And one of them definitely wasn't happy with me. I mumbled some lame apology and backed away, wishing I was 1000 miles away. I'm sure they thought I was a bit soft in the head or something. I turned and scurried away, embarrassed as all get-out and wondering just where in hell the old man was...ahhh to be young and foolish again...

That's my tale.

So what have you done that still embarrasses you till this day? You know you want to tell us...

 
ssjones

ssjones

Moderator
Staff member
May 11, 2011
18,410
11,301
Maryland
postimg.cc
A couple of months ago, we were in a crowded Cracker Barrell with friends for breakfast. While waiting for a table, a short kid was in front of me, blocking the isle. About 4'5" tall, short hair, slacks. I put my hands on his shoulders, turned him around and said "Hey Chief, you can't hangout in the aisle". It was a little old lady, who wasn't too pleased with me. My friend thought it was hilarious.

 
sablebrush52

sablebrush52

The Bard Of Barlings
Jun 15, 2013
19,747
45,289
Southern Oregon
jrs457.wixsite.com
This one was more amusing than embarrassing, and it happened a very, very long time ago. I was sitting at a table on the UCLA campus with my fiancée and a couple of other girls I knew, and my fiancée was, in a humorous way, complaining about my snoring. I protested that I didn't snore, to which both girls responded in unison "Oh yes you do!". There was an awkward moment as what had just happened sunk in and then we all cracked up.

 
bent1

bent1

Lifer
Jan 9, 2015
1,145
3,014
64
WV
Well, someone has to ‘go there’, so here it is. Was dating a lady and met at a restaurant. After our greeting, we were escorted to our booth and sat down. Had a nice meal & was having desert. Repositioned my seating position, and out from my back side echoed a crack. Was so embarrassed, I apologized. Dead silence, then she laughed. She said that was an unusual ice breaker. Now we both laugh at our flatulence.

 
donjgiles

donjgiles

Lifer
Apr 14, 2018
1,571
2,523
As a freshman high school football player, I was pantsed right in front of the entire cheer-leading squad.

I did end up getting some dates out if it though.

:)
Don

 
jaytex1969

jaytex1969

Lifer
Jun 6, 2017
9,520
50,597
Here
In the army, we, of course, did physical training every morning. One morning, I recall, it was raining so hard, we moved the entire company into the large fitness facility.
We were free to engage in any physical pursuit, as long as we were active, a nice change from the usual pushups, situps and several mile run.
I decided to try my hand at racquetball. We started slow and sloppy, as I had never played before. After a bit, I was getting the hang of it and returning most of the serves. My opponent was close to my skill level, so that helped.
I decided I had gotten the hang of it enough to get more aggressive and got some nice backhands and a few fancy shots going.
Reaching hard to get a wild return, I leapt and brought the racket in full speed, but misjudged the angle as the ball left my racquet whizzed into the glass back wall and lodged firmly at a high rate of speed into my manly parts,
I was left bug-eyed with knees together and both hands cradling the jewels staring through the glass at a dozen of my closet friends rolling on the floor laughing at the free entertainment.
In retrospect, the pushups and 5 mile runs weren't so bad....
jay-roger.jpg


 
mortonbriar

mortonbriar

Lifer
Oct 25, 2013
2,676
5,722
New Zealand
a bunch of us guys were getting dropped off by this young girl, and the guy in the front seat had just left the car. "Oh, its like you are our chauffeur" said my one friend, and then I blurted out an automatic pun before I had time to think about it. "YEAH, SHOW US YA FUR!"

:oops:

 
bnichols23

bnichols23

Lifer
Mar 13, 2018
4,131
9,554
SC Piedmont
Well, you don't have to wonder any more. }:) I have a good patter that normally goes with this, but it'd take too long to read, so I'll go from starting blocks to chase ASAP. ;)
I'n '78 I was living in DC & at a July 4th party at the White House for congressional families. You could take home souvenirs. The only thing available to me was a half-full carafe of Paul Masson. Well, I am NOT going to walk the streets of DC with an open bottle, so I look for a place to pour it out. Nothing, but also nobody looking at me either, sooo, bottoms-up. On the White House lawn. Yup, I did. Then I turn around & what's in my face?
Ray-Bans, eye-level. (I'm 6'6".)
Scared the ever-lovin' !*DOG MESS*! out of me. I didn't realize for a few seconds that he didn't even *see* me. I was literally nothing -- 0 threat. To him I Did Not. Even. Exist. The bottle got lost in a move 20-some years later.
100% troo trufe, swear before God.
Bill

 
sablebrush52

sablebrush52

The Bard Of Barlings
Jun 15, 2013
19,747
45,289
Southern Oregon
jrs457.wixsite.com
Then there was the time that I was playing pool and tried to execute a difficult shot, resulting in sinking three of my opponents balls, the eight ball, and the cue ball. Yeah, not one of my more stellar moments...

 
cosmicfolklore

cosmicfolklore

Lifer
Aug 9, 2013
33,974
75,649
Between the Heart of Alabama and Hot Springs NC
I've had lots of embarrassment in my life, mostly from my own naïveté. Some from being bettered by others or just my own hubris. But, none are worse than my most recent. I was out on the tractor working when a neighbor caught me unawares while... Uggg... the embarrassment is still with me... I still feel the burning red face... he just walked up and cleared his throat, and I turned... and he caught me... smoking a corn cob pipe. :oops: Yes, I know, I know... horrible. He was merely asking me for directions, a complete stranger, but still... to think that someone would see me smoking from such a plebian utensil. :puffy:

 
jpmcwjr

jpmcwjr

Moderator
Staff member
May 12, 2015
24,708
27,308
Carmel Valley, CA
OH, the horrors, the humanity! Today I failed to sink a three foot putt that would have saved my team a point, so that we'd have finished a more respectable third place finish. (Out of three teams.)

 
L

lawmax3

Can't Leave
Jan 18, 2013
405
12
1989 me and my new bride were visiting Gatlinburg.

We were walking through one of the shops and this young lady walks up beside me and takes hold of my left hand as she looked at various items.

So I walked with her for a while, just holding her hand and not saying a word.

My wife gave me a look of "what the heck" as did another gentleman about my same age, Height and hair color.

About that same time the young lady looked at her fellow as if to say "what are you doing over there??!!".

She immediately squeeled in embarrassment. We all had a great laugh out of the whole thing.

 
sablebrush52

sablebrush52

The Bard Of Barlings
Jun 15, 2013
19,747
45,289
Southern Oregon
jrs457.wixsite.com
Those Ray-Bans command respect. Back in the mid '80's I was sent to Washington DC, with my producer, to document the mall for a large scale miniature we were going to build for a mini series about a Soviet take over of the US. I was out in front of the Capitol bldg photographing a monument when I suddenly found myself surrounded by men wearing suits, sporting Ray-Bans and wearing earpieces. They were very polite as they escorted me to a cell in the basement of the Capitol where they used to keep suspected spies during the Civil War. I entered the cell to find my producer sitting rather abashedly on a bench.
I stood staring at him and he said "They have no sense of humor around here."
I said, "What the hell did you do?"
He said, "I was just joking about figuring out how to blow up the Capitol bldg. Who would take me seriously?"
Needless to say, we weren't going anywhere until the PTB vetted his story that it was all a misunderstanding and that we were there doing research for a movie. For the next few days I was constantly harassed to show my photography permit, a nice way of suggesting that the sooner I left town, the better.
I got the reference that I needed, but my deal with my producer was that he stay in the hotel bar for the rest of our time in DC. I was afraid we'd end up swinging from a gallows if I left him on the loose.

 
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