Does The Pain Ever Go Away?

So very sorry for your loss. While I haven't experienced a loss of that magnitude, I'm sure that it doesn't. I think we learn to live with loss. Peace to you today and everyday.

Scrooge, I'm so sorry for your loss. I've lost two very important people in the last year and a half, with my father being one of them and I don't think it gets easier. It just gets different.

The sad answer is no. Lost my first wife twenty-two years ago, and certain times of the year are really hard to bear. I feel your pain, and you have my sympathy brother.

Scrooge, I cannot fathom the pain of losing a child....the only thing I can approximate that with personally is losing my father. In my case the pain felt from his loss in my life has dulled somewhat in the years since I lost him, but I don't think it shall ever go away, losing a child must be ten fold as painful, as we all expect to lose our parents sooner or later. For me it was sooner, much too soon, but it wasn't completely unexpected, as we all begin to prepare for our parents death as we enter middle age, but we are never prepared to lose a child. My deepest sympathies for you and your wife's loss.

Right there with you Scrooge! It has been 7 years for us, and I can say that no it does not ever go away, but be grateful for that. Days will go by now and I realize that I haven't thought about him - it used to be hours - some might say that is progress. Maybe it is but I fear I might forget altogether.
I try to avoid the pain, but to do that I have to avoid my memories, and so I cheat myself from the good memories. Let's embrace the pain and keep the memories.
I am sorry for your loss, know that I fully understand what you are going through.
Take care!

Dear God, I always thought that picture was you. Obviously, I had no idea.
Just got back from a 480 mile turnaround to spend a few hours with my aging and ailing 90 year old father. Among many things we talked about the loss of his eldest son/my older brother, his first grandchild/my niece and his first wife/my mom.
The pain never goes away. With time it just dulls and takes on a different color.
I'll go to mass later this morning, light a candle in your son's memory and pray for you all.
Fnord

I'm sorry to hear about your loss scrooge. As ash said it might not get easier but it will get different. Perhaps easier to cope with at least

I can add a little to this, as already said, NO, the pain will not go away. At the lost of a dear loved one, there is a pain that gnaws away deep inside the spirit, it is so deep and darken with pain that it is nameless. That nameless dark pain is magnified when it is your child, the age is unimportant, they are forever your child. God will give you peace and can replace that deep nameless hole in your spirit with Love and Light, for God is Love and light. The pain will not be taken away. But, now you have something to offer someone that is walking in your shoes. Why these things happen? I sure don't know. I do know this, my wife and me are much more closer to God and His love after losing both our sons, one in 2008 (37 years old) and the older one in 2013 (47 years old). So, don't stop loving, cry for them, put all your trust in God, He loves you and always will. Be the Blessing of God the Father, God the Son and God the Holy Spirit be on you and your family.

Scrooge, I'm reluctant to write anything as nothing can bring your son back or lessen your pain. We lost our 13 year old grandson to an ATV accident about two years ago. His father was absent and uninvolved, his mother a highschool senior so my wife and and I helped raise that little guy. We spent a bunch of time with him and miss him dearly-- he was such a good loving child. I'm with randelli as I find myself avoiding memories as they just remind you of what was lost. Even though, we are greatful for having been graced with the few years we had with him. So, I write this with no expectation that it will help ease the pain, but sometimes it's good to know that you're not alone. One day at a time, man and I do think it can help to find a support group for those who lost their children. Tears, talk and time-- it ain't much, but it's all there is. I'm so sorry for your loss. Hang in there, buddy.
Eric

Time heals but the pain will never go away, I'v lost 2 sons (1997/2009), there are times that I shake my fist at the sky and yell at the world, just have to find a way to make peace with the demons within

pain does not go away I lost my son at 33, think of him every day. but it does get a little better.so sorry too hear you lost your son,

This story has brought peace to me over the years:
The Dragonfly
Down below the surface of a quiet pond lived a little colony of water bugs. They were a happy colony, living far away from the sun.
For many months they were very busy, scurrying over the soft mud on the bottom of the pond. They noticed that every once in a while one of their colony seemed to lose interest in going about its business with its friends. Clinging to the stem of a pond lily, it gradually climbed out of sight and was never seen again.
“Look!” said one of the water bugs to another. “One of our colony is climbing up the lily stalk. Where do you suppose she is going?” Up, up, up it went slowly. Even as they watched, the water bug disappeared from sight. Its friends waited and waited but it didn’t return. “That’s funny!” said one water bug to another. “Wasn’t she happy here?” asked a second water bug. “Where do you suppose she went?” wondered a third. No one had an answer. They were greatly puzzled.
Finally one of the water bugs, a leader in the colony, gathered them all together. “I have an idea”, he said. “The next one of us who climbs up the lily stalk must promise to come back and tell us where he or she went and why.” “We promise,” they said solemnly.
One spring day, not long after, the very water bug who had suggested the plan found himself climbing up the lily stalk. Up, up, up he went. Before he knew what was happening, he had broken through the surface of the water, and fallen onto the broad, green lily pad above.
He was so tired, and the sun felt so warm, that he decided to take a nap. As he slept, his body changed and when he awoke, he had turned into a beautiful blue-tailed dragonfly with broad wings and a slender body designed for flying.
He couldn’t believe the startling change he saw in his body. His movement revealed four silver wings and a long tail. Even as he struggled, he felt an impulse to move his wings. The warmth of the sun soon dried the moisture from the new body. He moved his wings again and suddenly found himself up above the water. He had become a dragonfly.
Swooping and dipping in great curves, he flew through the air. He felt exhilarated in his new environment. By and by, the new dragonfly lighted happily on a lily pad to rest. Then it was that he chanced to look below to the bottom of the pond. Why, he was right above his old friends, the water bugs! There they were, scurrying about, just as he had been doing some time before. Then the dragonfly remembered the promise: “The next one of us who climbs up the lily stalk will come back and tell where he or she went and why.”
Without thinking, the dragonfly darted down. Suddenly he hit the surface of the water and bounced away. Now that he was a dragonfly, he could no longer go into the water. “I can’t return!” he said in dismay. “At least I tried, but I can’t keep my promise. Even if I could go back, not one of the water bugs would know me in my new body. I guess I’ll just have to wait until they become dragonflies too. Then they’ll understand what happened to me, and where I went.” And the dragonfly winged off happily into its wonderful new world of sun and air.

James I've not lost children so I'm not qualified to say anything but I wanted you to know I hurt for you mi Cher.

I'm ,sorry for your loss. My best friend, like a brother to me, lost a son. Days after high school graduation. A terrible, terrible thing.

Kind thoughts to you on a tough day. I'll smoke a bowl in his honor.

I have young children and I pray I never have to experience what too many of you have shared on this thread...I am sorry for you all. Thank you for being vulnerable enough to share Scrooge.
Isaac