Pipes Magazine » General Pipe Smoking Discussion

Search Forums  
   
Tags:  No tags yet. 

Disinterested wife?

(63 posts)
  • Started 10 months ago by willisk
  • Latest reply from willisk
  1. User has not uploaded an avatar

    willisk

    Member
    Joined: Aug 2018
    Posts: 105

    offline

    Login to Send PM

    Does anyone else experience this female phenomenon? If your wife does not share your interest
    Or hobby it is something she gets annoyed with if you talk about it? My wife seems this way with everything
    From Guns, Fishing, and Cars!! Any of the mentioned hobbies can easily provoke attitude or eye rolls if I try to talk about them
    With her!! Which is fine and easy to avoid until I buy new pipes or tobacco or other supplies for mentioned hobbies!
    Then it’s why didn’t you discuss this with me ( anything over $100 rule )!! She is the best wife and we have
    Lots of shared interests so for that I’m thankful. Just curios if anyone else has experienced this or if y’all have similar rules or
    Agreements on what dollar amount merits permission/heads up ! And if so how to you give heads up
    Without getting eye rolls lol!!

    Posted 10 months ago #
  2. tslex

    tslex

    Preferred Member
    Joined: Jun 2011
    Posts: 1,529

    offline

    Login to Send PM

    Someone needs a spanking.

    Posted 10 months ago #
  3. mikethompson

    mikethompson

    Preferred Member
    Joined: Jun 2016
    Posts: 3,753

    offline

    Login to Send PM

    My wife doesn't share my interest, so we don't really talk about it. It doesn't bother me, we have lots of other things to talk about.

    Posted 10 months ago #
  4. chasingembers

    Embers

    Captain Of The Black Frigate
    Joined: Nov 2014
    Posts: 15,385

    offline

    Login to Send PM

    Mine has no input on my pipe and tobacco expenditures though she has bought me pipes and tobacco.

    Damnation seize my soul if I give you quarters, or take any from you.
    -Edward Teach
    Posted 10 months ago #
  5. jpmcwjr

    jpmcwjr

    Preferred Member
    Joined: May 2015
    Posts: 13,328

    offline

    Login to Send PM

    It might help some to not think of pipe smoking as 'a hobby'. For some it has to be deemed a hobby, and that's great, too.

    I know that you believe you understood what you think I said, but I'm not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant.
    Posted 10 months ago #
  6. chasingembers

    Embers

    Captain Of The Black Frigate
    Joined: Nov 2014
    Posts: 15,385

    offline

    Login to Send PM

    Yeah, it's just something I do.

    Posted 10 months ago #
  7. cosmicfolklore

    Cosmic

    Preferred Member
    Joined: Aug 2013
    Posts: 18,163

    offline

    Login to Send PM

    I own two guns that I use regularly, but yet if someone else wants to start talking guns to me, I roll my damn eyes too, and I will probably just get up and walk away. I have my two that I know inside and out, all other guns interest me about as much as listening to someone go on and on about different types of hammers or screwdrivers. I could care less. I own a cars and trucks, but if someone wants to start talking stats on their car or truck (or this or that about engines, etc..., my eyes will hit the floor and roll down the hallway. But, I can sit and talk pipes for hours.

    I know lifelong elderly pipesmokers that will tell you to shut you damn mouth if you start talking pipes or tobaccos with them. They have their likes and dislikes and could care less about what you think. A friend and neighbor of mine, a textbook curmudgeon, will just turn and walk away from you while smoking his pipe, if you start talking tobaccos or pipe brands.

    Just because I enjoy something doesn't mean that I am nutjob about it. I do have my nutty things that I enjoy discussing; pipes, lapidary, tractors, bicycles, farming. But, everything else, I may enjoy something, but just not as "into it." And, just because I like bicycles, doesn't mean that I want to hear about all bicycles. If you want to talk road bikes or carbon frames, then you'll lose my interest quickly.

    Now, it has taken years for training to get my wife to enjoy me talking about some aspects of pipes and cigars. But, in turn I have had to listen to hours of her talking about beads, bead work, and crochet (never again will I call it knitting, ha ha). Relationships are give and take. If I want her to take an interest in what I am doing, I will have to do the same.

    And money. I make my money and have my accounts. She hers. We divide the bills, and responsibilities. If I buys something it's none of her business as long as I get my share of the bills paid. And, if she comes home with a crate of beads or yarn, it's none of my business as long as she gets hers paid.
    But, every relationship is different.

    Michael
    Posted 10 months ago #
  8. User has not uploaded an avatar

    willisk

    Member
    Joined: Aug 2018
    Posts: 105

    offline

    Login to Send PM

    Good point!! My wife is a smoker so I thought when I made the jump it wouldn’t be an issue
    And it’s not really an issue i was just curious if anyone else got any attitude or eye rolls lol!!

    Posted 10 months ago #
  9. bluto

    bluto

    Senior Member
    Joined: Aug 2018
    Posts: 737

    offline

    Login to Send PM

    Oh , I just normally pay SWMBO a couple of nice complements and she then forgets whatever it was she wanted to bring up. ..

    “listen: there’s a hell
    of a good universe next door; let’s go”
    Posted 10 months ago #
  10. warren

    warren

    Preferred Member
    Joined: Sep 2013
    Posts: 7,537

    offline

    Login to Send PM

    Why would you expect a person to engage in a conversation about a subject she has no interest in? Or worse, is averse to? I never talked felting or flower gardening with my wife. She didn't converse with me on certain subjects. Fly fishing being one, tractors another, and, of course, smoking (meat, not pipes, cigars or cigarettes). She smoke cigarettes and only voiced he dislike for heavy latakia in the house. I conceded on that one and she, in turn, quit trying to interest me in Sci-Fi movies. She and "The Daughter" loved their "Star Trek Wars" and such.

    A man without a shillelagh is a man without an expedient.
    Posted 10 months ago #
  11. mso489

    mso489

    Preferred Member
    Joined: Feb 2013
    Posts: 25,923

    offline

    Login to Send PM

    Couples counseling is far from my area of expertise. I've had two wonderful wives -- remarried after I was a widower. You each need room to have some discretionary spending of your own, equal amounts, and that's about all I have to say. How you achieve that is between you two or with professional counseling. Both my wives had heavy cigarette habits in their mid-lives, and my wife is a non-smoker but buys me some of my finest pipes and blends, sometimes on her own intuition, which is perfect. Evoke the best magic you can; it's worth it. It sounds like you have a fine relationship, so just grow that. Some separate interests are a good thing, to give you some independent time, her too.

    Posted 10 months ago #
  12. bluto

    bluto

    Senior Member
    Joined: Aug 2018
    Posts: 737

    offline

    Login to Send PM

    Try to keep it under the radar , out of sight out of mind

    I keep my pipes and tobacco in my garage and I don't smoke in the house , why poke the sleeping bear ..

    Posted 10 months ago #
  13. User has not uploaded an avatar

    willisk

    Member
    Joined: Aug 2018
    Posts: 105

    offline

    Login to Send PM

    Well said mso!! We do have a good relationship and each have separate interests as well as joint hobbies and interests!! In seven years I’ve never slept in the couch lol.
    I guess I didn’t do a very good job of asking the question based on some of the replies lol.
    I have no interest in forcing her to engage in conversation about pipes or tobacco at the end of the day as long as I’m happy and enjoying myself that’s enough for me!!
    and I fully hold the motto Happy Wife Happy Life!! So maybe sometimes I put to much stock on the motto lol

    Posted 10 months ago #
  14. User has not uploaded an avatar

    willisk

    Member
    Joined: Aug 2018
    Posts: 105

    offline

    Login to Send PM

    Good point bluto

    Posted 10 months ago #
  15. bluto

    bluto

    Senior Member
    Joined: Aug 2018
    Posts: 737

    offline

    Login to Send PM

    Now, on to a few pointers about how to make them happy , after 30 years of happy nuptials , here is everything I know about women ..

    .

    Posted 10 months ago #
  16. User has not uploaded an avatar

    willisk

    Member
    Joined: Aug 2018
    Posts: 105

    offline

    Login to Send PM

    Yeah I know what you mean I learned that the hard way after two divorces!!
    Now after 7 years of happiness I do know that it’s futile to try to understand a woman
    Or there logic and it’s ok to be wrong!! I don’t have to win an argument to be right
    As long as she thinks she is right and I know I’m right I’m good lol

    Posted 10 months ago #
  17. hakchuma

    hakchuma

    Preferred Member
    Joined: Jan 2014
    Posts: 781

    offline

    Login to Send PM

    Don't talk to her. Just tell her to make you a sammich. After some time she'll be very interested.

    "From tempers be it known that we are warm in the fields of battle and cool in the hours of debate"

    - Pushmataha, Choctaw Chief
    Posted 10 months ago #
  18. madox07

    madox07

    Preferred Member
    Joined: Dec 2016
    Posts: 1,326

    offline

    Login to Send PM

    I think it's time you learned about the Commander's Fund Every commander has his own fund that is spent at his own discretion. Also, the commander fund is something that is kept very private, and you rarely if ever talk about it with your friends, and under no circumstances you are to mention of this to your wife. The commander regularly puts away some money, a stash if you will, with every discrete occasion that he stumbles over some extra cash or disposable and unnoticeable income. This will aid him in the hard days or the hard to resist situations of personal (all legal and moral of course) pleasure. Please be advised, the commander fund is not meant for large purchases, i.e. it's not a darn savings account - so if you think that you can buy the new Berreta over under shotgun without your wife not noticing, you have another thing coming. I don't say that I use such subversive methods, but if I did I would use the fund to pay for certain hunting permits, some tobacco that I "need" when I have spent the monthly budget, etc etc. No harm in that, since you end up paying for that permit or tin of tobacco anyway, but at least you save yourself the pain of being scolded or the rolling eye before hand.

    Sea Wolf Pipers

    "Like the mariners of old, a loner is acceptable but a pipe is best enjoyed in a pack"
    Posted 10 months ago #
  19. sablebrush52

    sablebrush52

    The Bard Of Barlings
    Joined: Jun 2013
    Posts: 9,616

    offline

    Login to Send PM

    My OAFW and I share a great many interests, and we have others that we don't share. This is healthy.

    It's also useful. I'll explain. My OAFW used to breed and show maine coons. She can prattle on endlessly about breeds, bloodlines, their characteristics, markings, traits, etc, etc. It's an excellent soporific. I can prattle on endlessly about pipes, tobaccos, pipe history, blah, blah, blah.

    So we've struck a deal whereby she doesn't launch into cat dissertations and I refrain from my pipe and tobacco BS as well as other personal topics that bore the other witless. It's like MAD. If one side breaks the treaty agreement the other side is free to launch an attack.

    It is better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to open one's mouth and remove all doubt. - Mark Twain

    It is pointless to argue with a fanatic since a dim bulb can't be converted into a searchlight. - Jesse Silver
    Posted 10 months ago #
  20. josephcross

    josephcross

    Preferred Member
    Joined: Dec 2015
    Posts: 952

    offline

    Login to Send PM

    Commander fund...that’s great!!! I have a wife who doesn’t really question my purchases. Often shares a pipe or cigar, but otherwise has no interest in the hobby/habit other than that I enjoy it. She supports my passions as long as I turn a blind eye to the expensive shoes and jeans that show up in the mail. And when she asks me where did this pipe come from and how much did it cost I always reply it was 50$ on the estate page at smokingpipes.....

    Posted 10 months ago #
  21. jaytex969

    jaytex969

    Preferred Member
    Joined: Jun 2017
    Posts: 3,524

    offline

    Login to Send PM

    I saw this thread title and thought C&D had launched a new tin blend...

    Gunner, Black Frigate. Say "Hello" to my little friend!
    Posted 10 months ago #
  22. pappymac

    pappymac

    Preferred Member
    Joined: Feb 2015
    Posts: 1,819

    offline

    Login to Send PM

    My wife keeps finding estate pipes for me to buy and restore.

    I think she does it so I will stay busy and not annoy her.

    I am glad we have a good admin and responsible moderators.

    Heave to you dark colored ship under sail! Prepare to be boarded!
    Posted 10 months ago #
  23. tslex

    tslex

    Preferred Member
    Joined: Jun 2011
    Posts: 1,529

    offline

    Login to Send PM

    jaytex: LOL

    Posted 10 months ago #
  24. eggrollpiper

    eggrollpiper

    Senior Member
    Joined: Jul 2018
    Posts: 373

    offline

    Login to Send PM

    The blend is called: wives with knives and is 80% latakia and 20% perique...
    Someone once told me that latakia was female repellant.
    My wife tries to take interest and is supportive until I spend more than $5. She says pipes don't smell as bad as cigars so there's that...

    Posted 10 months ago #
  25. chasingembers

    Embers

    Captain Of The Black Frigate
    Joined: Nov 2014
    Posts: 15,385

    offline

    Login to Send PM

    I will never understand wife fear.

    Posted 10 months ago #
  26. User has not uploaded an avatar

    willisk

    Member
    Joined: Aug 2018
    Posts: 105

    offline

    Login to Send PM

    Commanders fund that’s great!! I have always squirreled a little here and there
    Like 20 cash back at the grocery store and suddenly groceries were 150 instead of 130 lol
    But never thought of naming it. That usually works for B&M purchases on the sly but when an extra package shows up
    Not so easy !! She don’t care about a few orders a month of necessary items it’s when I go into hoarder mode
    Lol!! But sometimes you can’t pass up free shipping on your entire order if you buy a 99 cent sampler lol

    Posted 10 months ago #
  27. timt

    timt

    Preferred Member
    Joined: Jul 2018
    Posts: 1,039

    offline

    Login to Send PM

    My wife isn't interested but she's aware of my enthusiasm and plays along some. Whenever I crack open a new blend, I almost always get her to take a whiff of the tin with me and give a quick description of what it smells like to her. Same with a new pipe, she listens patiently as I praise or criticize it for just a couple minutes until I go out onto the deck and light up. She's a good sport about it and in return, similarly to Sable, I pretend I like her cats as she explains their worth.

    Tim
    Posted 10 months ago #
  28. bluto

    bluto

    Senior Member
    Joined: Aug 2018
    Posts: 737

    offline

    Login to Send PM

    I saw this thread title and thought C&D had launched a new tin blend...

    Now there is a good idea for a new thread , suggested pipe tobacco blend names

    .. disinterested wife

    .. iron my shirt

    .. she who must be obeyed

    Posted 10 months ago #
  29. tslex

    tslex

    Preferred Member
    Joined: Jun 2011
    Posts: 1,529

    offline

    Login to Send PM

    chasingembers, exactly.

    It always makes me SMH.

    But then, one my rules is "No one understands anyone else's marriage."

    SO I try to tell myself, if that works for a guy . . .well. . . I guess it works for a guy.

    Posted 10 months ago #
  30. jazz

    jazz

    Preferred Member
    Joined: Feb 2014
    Posts: 810

    offline

    Login to Send PM

    I will never understand wife fear.

    No, me neither.

    Posted 10 months ago #
  31. arvetus

    arvetus

    Junior Member
    Joined: Jul 2018
    Posts: 68

    offline

    Login to Send PM

    I will never understand wife fear.

    No, me neither.

    Same.

    Posted 10 months ago #
  32. bnichols23

    Bill Nichols

    Preferred Member
    Joined: Mar 2018
    Posts: 2,593

    offline

    Login to Send PM

    "80% latakia and 20% perique..." -- Wouldn't work for me, eggroll. My wife LIKES latakia....

    Yes, serious. She also bought me a $200 meer Bacchus for Xmas one year. (That was in 1980-something dollars.)

    As for the bucks, I was off pipes for years while she bought enough fabric & yarn to stitch a life-size replica of Niagara Falls. We don't have a man-cave -- yarn cave instead. So she doesn't say much whenever I get a new (usually new-old) one in. I don't push it too much, though. }:)

    Bill

    Head Black Frigate keelhauler, boss powder monkey, & troublemaker 1st class.
    Posted 10 months ago #
  33. crashthegrey

    crashthegrey

    Preferred Member
    Joined: Dec 2015
    Posts: 2,827

    offline

    Login to Send PM

    I just had to laugh at Cosmic's knowledge of knit vs. crochet. My wife runs a crochet-centric group which meets at bars, and are thus called the Drunken Hookers. Do not confuse their art for knitting, nor their hooks for needles. It never ends well.

    Posted 10 months ago #
  34. brooklynpiper

    brooklynpiper

    Member
    Joined: May 2018
    Posts: 210

    offline

    Login to Send PM

    I like to play a game in my head where I answer one post's title with another . . . . All I can say is: disinterested wife? The stinger. Good luck.

    Posted 10 months ago #
  35. 3rdguy

    3rdguy

    Preferred Member
    Joined: Aug 2017
    Posts: 1,341

    offline

    Login to Send PM

    I refer these discussions to a co-worker.He saved my 1st and 3rd marriages.

    Posted 10 months ago #
  36. eggrollpiper

    eggrollpiper

    Senior Member
    Joined: Jul 2018
    Posts: 373

    offline

    Login to Send PM

    Wife fear? Who said anything about wife fear? Is that a thing? You mean fear of being sex deprived? That's definitely a thing.

    Posted 10 months ago #
  37. lifesizehobbit

    lifesizehobbit

    Preferred Member
    Joined: Oct 2015
    Posts: 831

    offline

    Login to Send PM

    A Woman's Mind: The Final Frontier

    These are the voyages of the XY Chromosome with the intrepid Commander Fund, whose Prime Directive is to prevent an awakening of a disitnerested wife...

    Dave "Black Frigate Stowaway"
    Posted 10 months ago #
  38. ray47

    ray47

    Preferred Member
    Joined: Jul 2015
    Posts: 1,157

    offline

    Login to Send PM

    I just ignore my wife's comments about my pipe smoking. Has worked for 50 yrs so no sense in changing now.

    Posted 10 months ago #
  39. chasingembers

    Embers

    Captain Of The Black Frigate
    Joined: Nov 2014
    Posts: 15,385

    offline

    Login to Send PM

    You mean fear of being sex deprived? That's definitely a thing.

    Tobacco and alcohol are far more enjoyable plus there's always other women.

    Posted 10 months ago #
  40. User has not uploaded an avatar

    willisk

    Member
    Joined: Aug 2018
    Posts: 105

    offline

    Login to Send PM

    All sound advice especially @Eggrollpiper and the sex deprived part lol hence happy wife = Happy Life!! It’s all good I’m new to this so I’ll get better about being discreet
    And my shed is almost closed in and will be climate controlled so I will have my man cave to hide my wares and treasures!! Out of site = out of mind
    Right now my Baccy stash is stored on my side of the closet and all my pipes are on the dresser so I think she sees it slowly growing and don’t understand pipe rotation
    Or my logic of getting tobacco while we can afford it so if we hit lean times ( probably won’t ) then I’m all good!! Also I firmly believe the government is werking on jacking up
    The price again in the near future!!

    So I think as soon as I get it out of sight then she won’t notice so much if I get more pipes and or tobacco!! But in her defense in three weeks time I’ve bought 5 pipes and close to
    4 .5 lbs of tobacco!! So maybe I need to put the brakes on a tad lol

    Posted 10 months ago #
  41. scloyd

    scloyd

    Preferred Member
    Joined: May 2018
    Posts: 1,672

    offline

    Login to Send PM

    My wife has no interest in my pipes, tobacco, bicycles or German HO trains. I have no interest in her 1960's wooden doll house she is renovating, her fancy coloring books or essential oils. When any of these subjects come up in conversation we listen to each other and act interested. We do have common interests...travel, food, walking/hiking, camping and a few others.

    As for how much we spend on our hobbies...since our kids are all grown and out of the house we spend what we want on whatever we want within reason. I can spend $300 on a HO engine no problem. If I come home with a $600 HO engine...there will be a discussion.

    Posted 10 months ago #
  42. npod

    npod

    Preferred Member
    Joined: Jun 2017
    Posts: 2,719

    offline

    Login to Send PM

    My gal is awesome. I’m going on my second marriage. The first would not speak to me for days if she found tobacco. She was not only disinterested, but she was highly judgemental and spiteful about it. I made the mistake of hiding it and lying about it, that was definitely wrong. My current fiancée could care less about pipes and tobacco, she actually doesn’t like it at all, she is a fitness buff and can’t understand the attraction one bit. She especially laughs out loud when she sees me watching blogs about pipes when they are described, she says it’s like a Saturday Night skit. But she never judges. In fact, she now tells me to go smoke a pipe and relax when needed. I make sure to take a shower after each smoke and make sure to always spend time with her and support her interests. As long as I balance the hobby with our life it works out splendidly. I’m blessed.

    Neal
    Posted 10 months ago #
  43. jaytex969

    jaytex969

    Preferred Member
    Joined: Jun 2017
    Posts: 3,524

    offline

    Login to Send PM

    I like to play a game in my head where I answer one post's title with another . . . . All I can say is: disinterested wife? The stinger. Good luck.

    I composed a poem a while ago based on title threads.

    Suffer through it HERE.

    Posted 10 months ago #
  44. User has not uploaded an avatar

    willisk

    Member
    Joined: Aug 2018
    Posts: 105

    offline

    Login to Send PM

    Jay that is hilarious!!

    Posted 10 months ago #
  45. User has not uploaded an avatar

    piper64

    Member
    Joined: Jul 2018
    Posts: 284

    offline

    Login to Send PM

    Haven't spoke to the wife in 8 weeks, too scared to interrupt her

    Faugh a Ballagh
    Posted 10 months ago #
  46. workman

    workman

    Preferred Member
    Joined: Jan 2018
    Posts: 1,708

    offline

    Login to Send PM

    It's the economy. As long as there is enough money and time spent on the household, kids and togetherness (Barry White softly playing in the background), it is fine. If my soon-to-be wife complains about pipe smoking, It's cause she thinks I'm freewheeling our relationship. Then I try not to freewheel.

    Smoking is one of the leading causes of all statistics.
    Posted 10 months ago #
  47. daveinlax

    daveinlax

    Preferred Member
    Joined: May 2009
    Posts: 1,092

    offline

    Login to Send PM

    I don't know if mrslax has any idea what I've spent on the collection but I know she seems to enjoy that I enjoy it. We have pipe friendly homes and she's been to quiet a few shows over the years and helped me host a few pipe club parties at our place years ago.

    Posted 10 months ago #
  48. User has not uploaded an avatar

    willisk

    Member
    Joined: Aug 2018
    Posts: 105

    offline

    Login to Send PM

    Daveinlax that is awesome!! We have little ones in the home so no beuno indoors but I do have a closed in back porch that will see a lot of use this winter !!

    Posted 10 months ago #
  49. tuold

    tuold

    Preferred Member
    Joined: Oct 2013
    Posts: 2,198

    offline

    Login to Send PM

    Being as my wife and I are retired, I think it would fatal if we shared the same interests. As it is, we both have varied hobbies and move around in different circles. That gives us more to talk about when we are together. I know she has about as much interest in pipes, Early Music, and aviation as I do in quilts, icon making and clog dancing. I am interested to the extent I want to hear about the things that make her happy without actually taking part in them. That comes from years of history knowing that anything we try to do together soon becomes a competition to see who can do it better =)

    Being hostile or condescending is a different matter. I'd want to find out the reason for that. Could be a concern about money or health. Hopefully it's not jealousy or envy that you have something that brings you pleasure outside your relationship.

    The pipe is an instrument of civilization.
    Posted 10 months ago #
  50. seacaptain

    seacaptain

    Preferred Member
    Joined: Apr 2015
    Posts: 1,866

    offline

    Login to Send PM

    My wife is generally not interested in my hobbies and I'm not interested in hers. But, she does go shooting with me and we're supportive of each others interests.

    Posted 10 months ago #
  51. peckinpahhombre

    peckinpahhombre

    Preferred Member
    Joined: Dec 2012
    Posts: 7,478

    offline

    Login to Send PM

    My wife doesn't really care about what tobacco I purchase or how many pipes I have. She has no idea what I spend.

    Posted 10 months ago #
  52. skeeter456

    skeeter456

    Member
    Joined: Mar 2017
    Posts: 127

    offline

    Login to Send PM

    A happy wife is a happy life... eh screw it she cant see this!

    Posted 10 months ago #
  53. weezell

    weezell

    Preferred Member
    Joined: Oct 2011
    Posts: 9,290

    offline

    Login to Send PM

    Someone needs a spanking.
    YEA! Bad girl, bad girl.Or is it bad boy,bad boy??? ...

    "the weez"...
    Posted 10 months ago #
  54. lasttango

    lasttango

    Preferred Member
    Joined: Sep 2012
    Posts: 879

    offline

    Login to Send PM

    I show interest in her interests. While I strongly dislike like reality tv shows or puzzles, it makes me feel good to see her get excited, happy, enthused etc. It's good manners and when I was "courting" her I found things she enjoyed interesting because I found her interesting. It takes effort, patience and love to sit through an hour of a reality tv show.

    She's pretty good about returning the interest until she starts feeling neglected.

    At the moment, she considering letting me smoke inside if I stick to aros. I ordered some gentleman's caller and a couple others for this test.

    A man that hoards up riches and enjoys them not, is like an ass that carries gold and eats thistles.
    -Richard Burton
    Posted 10 months ago #
  55. madox07

    madox07

    Preferred Member
    Joined: Dec 2016
    Posts: 1,326

    offline

    Login to Send PM

    Tobacco and alcohol are far more enjoyable plus there's always other women.

    Amen to that. Any woman that thinks she can manipulate/control her husband by sex deprivation is on a certain road to perdition. Funny thing is that these type of women are the ones to scream "bloody murder" when they get cheated on, as a result of their sex deprivation strategy backfiring.

    Posted 10 months ago #
  56. workman

    workman

    Preferred Member
    Joined: Jan 2018
    Posts: 1,708

    offline

    Login to Send PM

    I like where this thread is going

    Posted 10 months ago #
  57. chasingembers

    Embers

    Captain Of The Black Frigate
    Joined: Nov 2014
    Posts: 15,385

    offline

    Login to Send PM

    @madox07

    Posted 10 months ago #
  58. jjmitchem

    Jim (Chap)

    Member
    Joined: Oct 2012
    Posts: 109

    offline

    Login to Send PM

    I wasn't going to post but I just got done counseling one of my Soldiers who just found out his wife wants a divorce (she couldn't wait two more months until he got home from Afghanistan...)

    First - I have been married 27 years, most of it while on Active duty (had a break in service in the middle) Do we share the same hobbies and likes - of course not. But over the years with all the deployments we have both come to appreciate the things the other likes to do. I will sit through her Hallmark channel movies and when she is in her sewing room working on some project Ill do my best to sit in there with her to talk or read or something. When I sit out back to smoke she will join me in a glass of wine, beer or something stronger. With all the deployments and training exercises we value our time together - this comes with time and not from being told to do so (and that's from my experience as a marriage counselor). Over the years we have found things that we both like - riding the motorcycle, enjoying music..

    What I do tell couples who are going through the growing pains of marriage is to just appreciate each other and respect each other's likes. Spend time with the other in their interests, but also expect the same from them.

    The Golden Rule in a marriage is NOT "do unto other as you would have done unto yourself" but is "Do unto your spouse as they need being done unto".

    In other terms - if she puts you 100% ahead of herself and you put her 100% in ahead of yours then both of your needs and likes and being met and it feels a whole lot better to have someone who has your back rather than you having to take care of yourself. Of course this HAS to be mutual or it wont work.

    It doesn't matter if a marriage is on the door of divorce - marriage counseling always helps, it doesn't have to be about the negative, it can be about "how can we do this better", "we are happy but we want more"....

    - Chap
    “A pipe is the fountain of contemplation, the source of pleasure, the companion of the wise; and the man who smokes, thinks like a philosopher and acts like a Samaritan.”
    -Edward George Bulwer-Lytton
    Posted 10 months ago #
  59. jaytex969

    jaytex969

    Preferred Member
    Joined: Jun 2017
    Posts: 3,524

    offline

    Login to Send PM

    Over the years we have found things that we both like - riding the motorcycle...

    As the old saying goes, you never see a motorcycle parked in front of a psychiatrist's office!

    Thanks, Jim.

    Posted 10 months ago #
  60. jvnshr

    jvnshr

    Mod
    Joined: Sep 2015
    Posts: 4,012

    offline

    Login to Send PM

    Then it’s why didn’t you discuss this with me ( anything over $100 rule )!

    Keep it below $100. Problem solved.

    Javan
    Posted 10 months ago #
  61. ssjones

    ssjones

    Mod
    Joined: May 2011
    Posts: 14,508

    offline

    Login to Send PM

    I'm guessing you are a fairly new pipe smoker. If so, I'll also speculate that you might be overly enthusiastic with a new hobby. That's understandable, but not to others. Try to reign in any overly-enthusiastic discussion to a moderate level and you'll probably get more buy-in from the wife. (that was the result in my case)

    Al

    Posted 10 months ago #
  62. User has not uploaded an avatar

    willisk

    Member
    Joined: Aug 2018
    Posts: 105

    offline

    Login to Send PM

    Ssjones right on the money. Yes fairly new and definitely over enthusiastic at least from her perspective I think.
    And I do admit I been doing some excesive shopping lol! It’s hard when you want to try everything all at once!!

    Posted 10 months ago #
  63. User has not uploaded an avatar

    willisk

    Member
    Joined: Aug 2018
    Posts: 105

    offline

    Login to Send PM

    Also good advice chap

    Posted 10 months ago #

Reply

You must log in to post.

 

 

    Back To Top  | Back to Forum Home Page

   Members Online Now
   mortonbriar