Pipes Magazine » General Discussion

Search Forums  
   
Tags:  No tags yet. 
[closed]

Define the term "Real Man"

(48 posts)
  • Started 3 months ago by nsfisher
  • Latest reply from hobie1dog
  1. nsfisher

    nsfisher

    Member
    Joined: Nov 2011
    Posts: 1,750

    offline

    Login to Send PM

    Just got off the phone with a buddy of 25 years. Apparently he and his spouse have called it quits. Her parting comment i guess was "I want a real man". Now maybe its just in Nova Scotia, but this is not the first time i have heard this term used over the years by separating couples. My definition of Real Man would be one that would take care of his family, seein that they would want for nothing and always being there when needed, as he has been over the years. I really dont believe i am far off on this definition. Ladies, your take on this would also be most interesting.

    Now i gotta larn how to reed and rite good
    Posted 3 months ago #
  2. ace57

    ace57

    Senior Member
    Joined: Jun 2011
    Posts: 2,150

    offline

    Login to Send PM

    Sounds like a good real man to Me.

    U.S.M.C. (SEMPER FI)
    Posted 3 months ago #
  3. pentangle

    pentangle

    Preferred Member
    Joined: Jan 2011
    Posts: 612

    offline

    Login to Send PM

    what or who you don't know it's "real" and what or who you know isn't real enough.I guess that's simply an excuse to change ot thinking to change the life.Life can't be changed if before you don't change yourself

    turn on,tune in,drop out
    Posted 3 months ago #
  4. lordofthepiperings

    lordofthepiperings

    Preferred Member
    Joined: May 2010
    Posts: 1,020

    offline

    Login to Send PM

    I'd venture to say it's mostly just a button to push to hurt the guy and make him feel bad in an attempt to inpart the same negative feelings the female has experienced.

    Posted 3 months ago #
  5. igloo

    igloo

    Preferred Member
    Joined: Jan 2010
    Posts: 2,897

    offline

    Login to Send PM

    Real men are confident in all that they do and responsible for thier actions . We climb great mountains and explore the world and make it ours .One piece at a time . If only in our dreams .YMMV

    “There was an awful suspicion in my mind that I'd finally gone over the hump, and the worst thing about it was that I didn't feel tragic at all, but only weary, and sort of comfortably detached.”
    Posted 3 months ago #
  6. hnryclay

    hnryclay

    Member
    Joined: Jan 2012
    Posts: 387

    offline

    Login to Send PM

    John Wayne....

    Just kidding hope your friend finds someone who cares for who he "is".

    Posted 3 months ago #
  7. baronsamedi

    baronsamedi

    Preferred Member
    Joined: May 2011
    Posts: 2,735

    offline

    Login to Send PM

    That's pretty subjective. Sounds like she was taking a dig at him.

    BTW, I'm not a badass, I'm just socially awkward. – BillyZoom
    Posted 3 months ago #
  8. portascat

    portascat

    Preferred Member
    Joined: Jan 2011
    Posts: 911

    offline

    Login to Send PM

    hard to say on the specific case.

    I do know that when I got divorced from my first wife, an old family friend said to me soon after:

    "Son, let me be the first to tell you that your ex will soon meet a guy who is better in bed, has a bigger d**k, treats her better, spends more quality time with her, etc. And you will soon be hearing as much from her friends." And he was right.

    And, when I started dating around, and eventually got married again, I heard much of the same refrain from various women I dated, made love to, etc. towards their ex-lovers/husbands, only this time I was the one in favorable review.

    I do know that, as a general rule, women despise what they say they want in a man and crave what they say they do not. I am not speaking of abusive drunks and the like. Only those characteristic traits of independence, leadership, not putting up for petty bullshit, and a mind of his own are not things that women typically put as desireables in their "singles ads", but when they find such a man they are intrigued and attracted in spite of themselves.

    "To seek freedom is the only driving force I know. Freedom to fly off into that infinity out there."
    Posted 3 months ago #
  9. buster

    buster

    Senior Member
    Joined: Sep 2011
    Posts: 489

    offline

    Login to Send PM

    Firt off as a good friend told me once, " all bitches are crazy" now be offended if you like but your friend needs to find some one who's craziness compliments his. My advice is bow out with as much dignity as he can. Then find a brand new girl friend.

    If you are wrong and you shut up, you are wise. If you are right, and you shut up, you are married.
    Posted 3 months ago #
  10. philip

    Philip

    Senior Member
    Joined: Oct 2011
    Posts: 1,057

    offline

    Login to Send PM

    That's hard to describe, but here are a few shining examples:

    Clark Kent
    Santa Claus
    Sherlock Holmes
    Merlin
    Data (from the Enterprise)

    ...no, wait a minute. I guess it's time for me to "get real".

    Posted 3 months ago #
  11. puffy

    puffy

    Preferred Member
    Joined: Dec 2010
    Posts: 517

    offline

    Login to Send PM

    When folks break up it is pretty usual that they each blame the other.It's pretty easy then to decide that things should be said and done to hurt the other because they deserve it.

    Life's most valuable treasure is..Love
    Posted 3 months ago #
  12. pipetrucker

    pipetrucker

    Preferred Member
    Joined: Sep 2010
    Posts: 992

    offline

    Login to Send PM

    Real men don't eat quiche.

    Mason

    And though it is much to be a nobleman, it is more to be a gentleman. - Anthony Trollope
    Posted 3 months ago #
  13. pstlpkr

    Lawrence

    Mod
    Joined: Dec 2009
    Posts: 7,789

    offline

    Login to Send PM

    Define the term "Real Man"

    The guy that tends the tackle on deep sea fishing charters.

    Seriously: (I'd say)
    A man that puts his family's welfare before his own.
    Is honest, forthright, non-judgmental, and fair with whomever he interacts.
    Is true to his friends.
    Smokes a pipe.

    Posted 3 months ago #
  14. seanz

    seanz

    Preferred Member
    Joined: May 2011
    Posts: 701

    offline

    Login to Send PM

    The guy that tends the tackle on deep sea fishing charters.

    Seriously: (I'd say)
    A man that puts his family's welfare before his own.
    Is honest, forthright, non-judgmental, and fair with whomever he interacts.
    Is true to his friends.
    Smokes a pipe.


    +1

    New Zealand
    Peter Piper.
    Give me the weed, the fragrant weed, My wearied brain to calm; In a wreath of smoke, while I crack my joke, I'll find a healing balm.
    Posted 3 months ago #
  15. igloo

    igloo

    Preferred Member
    Joined: Jan 2010
    Posts: 2,897

    offline

    Login to Send PM

    Hey I like quiche no fair .

    Posted 3 months ago #
  16. olderthandirt

    OTD

    Senior Member
    Joined: Jun 2011
    Posts: 2,175

    offline

    Login to Send PM

    A real man?

    He's the guy that took care of his kids diapers and still does so with his grandkids, without being asked!

    And I make a mean quiche too.

    Snus, snuff and briar.
    Not much more required in a day.
    Brian from Oregon USA
    Posted 3 months ago #
  17. pstlpkr

    Lawrence

    Mod
    Joined: Dec 2009
    Posts: 7,789

    offline

    Login to Send PM

    And I make a mean quiche too.

    How about sending me a good recipe...
    Never had any luck with them.
    He's the guy that took care of his kids diapers and still does so with his grandkids, without being asked!

    You must be my other twin...
    The resemblance is uncanny.

    Posted 3 months ago #
  18. spartan

    Spartan

    Senior Member
    Joined: Aug 2011
    Posts: 1,527

    offline

    Login to Send PM

    You're reading too much into it... She hates the guy she's with. The only insult she had was to not recognize him as a real man... Women want Superman.

    I'm Superman. Humble, Loving, and Loyal. Easy on the eyes if I do say so myself. (so much for humble right?)

    Havn't met a women yet that deserves all the hard work I put into a relationship. But I'll stick with it til it falls apart. (hasn't happened yet, but it's on the rocks)

    Work through your disagreements. If you keep having the same stupid crap comes up again and again. Move on. It'll just get worse.

    Just some thoughts from your friendly nieghborhood Spartan.

    "I was born to lose. So I'll die to win." -Breaking Benjamin
    Posted 3 months ago #
  19. cajunguy

    Cajunguy

    Member
    Joined: Jan 2012
    Posts: 361

    offline

    Login to Send PM

    A few years ago, I narrowed my thoughts on this very subject to a single statement: a man is someone who can wake up every morning, stare in the mirror, and not be embarrassed or ashamed of what he sees in the reflection. One should always put truth, honor, and integrity at the forefront, and the rest will fall into place with experience and wisdom.

    Of course, this standard applies to men and women. After all, we're all human, and sometimes not much different from one another. A Jesuit philosophy professor once told my class, "Women wear their hearts on their sleeves; men lay their nuts on the table. Common ground between the sexes can be found in the simple fact that injury is inevitable."

    Of course, this was the same professor who offered, "Jesuits only drink under two circumstances: when they're alone and when they're with other people."

    I had an interesting education.

    "We dance even if there's no radio. We drink at funerals. We talk too much and laugh too loud and live too large and, frankly, we're suspicious of others who don't.”
    [On being from New Orleans]
    - Chris Rose, "1 Dead in Attic"
    Posted 3 months ago #
  20. morlader

    morlader

    Senior Member
    Joined: Mar 2011
    Posts: 431

    offline

    Login to Send PM

    Rudyard Kipling's poem "IF" springs to mind

    Posted 3 months ago #
  21. tomdavis

    Sundown Piper

    Junior Member
    Joined: Aug 2011
    Posts: 77

    offline

    Login to Send PM

    Divorce is a hard time. I tried to take nothing that happened as a true reflection of me--and was successful in most cases. A real "anybody" is in the eyes of the beholder. But, you guys have it defined well. Your parents would be proud of you.

    All things I undertake must contain integrity, compassion, elegance and grace.
    Posted 3 months ago #
  22. admin

    Kevin

    Smoking a Pipe Right Now
    Joined: Nov 2008
    Posts: 4,719

    offline

    Login to Send PM

    Every woman desires a confident man.

    Every woman demands security from a man.

    Repels women:

    - Paying too much attention to them
    - Overdoing it with your feelings towards her
    - Giving them the upper hand in the relationship
    - Letting them treat you like a doormat by putting their needs in front of yours

    Being too nice and too available shows a woman you have the opposite of confidence and security. Being jealous shows insecurity too.

    (I go out with super hot women, and guys hit on them constantly, even when I am with them, right in front of me. If I showed jealousy, or that it pissed me off, I would be transmitting insecurity and become a wuss in her eyes. Instead, I maintain confidence, straight face, and afterwards assert to her; "Wow, there's another guy that failed miserably in trying to hit on you.")

    Women hate insecure, needy men.

    What women want in a relationship:

    Security - providing for a woman, not just financially, but respect, affection and anything that assures her well being - now and in the future.

    Nothing takes the place of honesty and sincerity when it comes to relationships.

    In addition, a woman wants someone that makes her FEEL good inside.

    You better make her laugh at least once a day, if not ten times a day too.

    Check Out Our Sister Site - Cigar Chronicles

    Certified Master Tobacconist (CMT) #1858
    Posted 3 months ago #
  23. nsfisher

    nsfisher

    Member
    Joined: Nov 2011
    Posts: 1,750

    offline

    Login to Send PM

    ya id say the comment "real man" was a button push as well. anyway i gonna go see him later, kinda at a loss for words as i have known him half my life and know them as a couple for almost as long. Well maybe a drink and intoduction to a Pipe may help

    Posted 3 months ago #
  24. pipetrucker

    pipetrucker

    Preferred Member
    Joined: Sep 2010
    Posts: 992

    offline

    Login to Send PM

    Women hate insecure, needy men.

    Bingo.

    Posted 3 months ago #
  25. aussielass

    aussielass

    Senior Member
    Joined: Oct 2011
    Posts: 549

    offline

    Login to Send PM

    At a real loss to figure out how Kevin can generalise & over simplify what women want quite the way he has as it is so wrong for so many! BTW, what's constantly referred to as "hot" by one may be totally "drab" to another.

    nsfisher, can't give you a woman's take on the situation without knowing the couple concerned, because everyone is so very different - and people we see outside of the married environment are way different when they're in it.

    25 years is a damn long time to be together, and obviously something happened to tear them apart, be it they simply let each other drift away or outgrew each other so that the relationship went stagnant - it happens.

    I've got a couple I've been best friends with since we were all 16yo. After 30 years of marriage, they're more in love today than they were the day they married @ 19yo, AND they've worked in the same business (theirs) every day of their lives, survived a hideously messy affair on his part but come through it stronger. It really all boils down to the individuals hearts on sleeves and balls on table - had I been her I woulda smashed his with the family Bible good and hard.

    Stats: Female "Proud Pretty Pipe" Smoker, lover of all things aromatic, especially mens' armpits!
    Technophobic fool who can't work out how to invite friends, so if you want to be mates with moi, you'll need to do the legwork involved, but only if you have a great SOH and don't dump on others!
    Posted 3 months ago #
  26. User has not uploaded an avatar

    Anonymous

    Unregistered

    Posts: 2,214

    offline

    Login to Send PM

    Define a real man?
    ME!!!

    Sorry, I just couldn't resist!

    Posted 3 months ago #
  27. nsfisher

    nsfisher

    Member
    Joined: Nov 2011
    Posts: 1,750

    offline

    Login to Send PM

    aussielass:

    true nuff, in all the yrs, i couldnt see that one was more dominant than the other, figured they were there to last. Myself, i have been married also 24 years and we git along great and r very close. Maybe because we each have our "OWN" things to do. I guess nothing is secure or gaureenteed forever. What goes on behind closed doors? Well one can never be sure i guess.

    Posted 3 months ago #
  28. pipeinhand

    pipeinhand

    Senior Member
    Joined: Sep 2011
    Posts: 854

    offline

    Login to Send PM

    A real man is someone that can love a real woman, and those kind of women are hard to find.

    My divorced friend told me once, remember, the next hot chick you go out with is someone else's crazy bitch.

    There is nothing like being left alone again, to walk peacefully with oneself in the woods.
    To boil one's coffee and fill one's pipe, and to think idly and slowly as one does it.
    Posted 3 months ago #
  29. judcole

    Jud

    Senior Member
    Joined: Sep 2011
    Posts: 1,160

    offline

    Login to Send PM

    A "real man" doesn't give a flying **** what anyone else things real men do or are. He is secure in himself and in being a man. Doesn't matter what he eats or how he dresses or who he loves.

    Thought in the early morning, solace in time of woes,
    Peace in the hush of the twilight, balm ere my eyelids close
    Rudyard Kipling
    Posted 3 months ago #
  30. hobojoe

    Joe2shoes

    Member
    Joined: Jun 2011
    Posts: 274

    offline

    Login to Send PM

    Well now,
    If I had balls you could put on a table and swat with a book.
    Then I suppose it's "come to bed baby lets put those thing to work". in stead of swatting.
    Than again it might be the All Boys Choir.if she realy pissed.
    Again it's the reason that young women stop behind the bulls at a county Fair and just smile.
    Sorry just an Old Lutz Country boy that tried standing in for a bull at the Fair.
    Joe2nuts

    Posted 3 months ago #
  31. sherlock

    sherlock

    Senior Member
    Joined: Aug 2011
    Posts: 495

    offline

    Login to Send PM

    A Homo Sapien Sapien with XY chromosomes.

    Posted 3 months ago #
  32. hobie1dog

    hobie1dog

    Penzaholic
    Joined: Jun 2010
    Posts: 4,907

    offline

    Login to Send PM

    It's Pat

    [+] Embed the video | Video DownloadGet the Video Widget

    Marry the right person, this one decision will determine 90% of your happiness.

    Does a culture based on seperation and competition, of scientific sophistication and mideval religion, offer happiness even as it ravishes the Earth that sustains it?
    Posted 3 months ago #
  33. baronsamedi

    baronsamedi

    Preferred Member
    Joined: May 2011
    Posts: 2,735

    offline

    Login to Send PM

    My wife says a real man is heterosexual, works to support his family, doesn't cheat and is not abusive toward women. Pretty simple, but too many get it wrong.

    Posted 3 months ago #
  34. aussielass

    aussielass

    Senior Member
    Joined: Oct 2011
    Posts: 549

    offline

    Login to Send PM

    the next hot chick you go out with is someone else's crazy bitch.

    The funniest, and probably truest thing I've read in a long time ... I'd best turn down the "hotness" a tad if it's proporationate to "craziness" mwahahaha.

    Hey Mrs Baron von S, I know lots of gay men who're all those things, AND MORE!!! I don't believe for one second that sexuality has anything to do with being "a real man", quite the opposite actually ... especially one dear friend who "came out" after spawning 6 sons with his wife. I far prefer to hang out with my gay or quiet, gentle friends than my "real men" friends, their conversations, attitudes, political & religions leanings, rantings, ravings are far less offensive too the feminine ear.

    Posted 3 months ago #
  35. zanthal

    zanthal

    Member
    Joined: Dec 2011
    Posts: 1,166

    offline

    Login to Send PM

    Rock on, Jud

    "Under all speech that is good for anything, there lies a silence that is better. Silence is deep as eternity; speech is shallow as time."

    Thomas Carlyle
    Posted 3 months ago #
  36. baronsamedi

    baronsamedi

    Preferred Member
    Joined: May 2011
    Posts: 2,735

    offline

    Login to Send PM

    I'm sure she meant no offence. She just has a vested interest in me being heterosexual and I'm totally good with that. We both have gay friends who are good people who do a great job caring for their families.

    Posted 3 months ago #
  37. aussielass

    aussielass

    Senior Member
    Joined: Oct 2011
    Posts: 549

    offline

    Login to Send PM

    Oh, I didn't think for one second your wife meant any offence - I just seize ever opportunity I can get whenever I can get it to be outspoken about being accepting of gay people because there's still far too many ill informed people wandering around who hate for hatin's sake.

    I'm straight as a die, don't understand the bisexuality thing at all (just view them as greedy basically, until they can convince me otherwise) but just wish there weren't any violent homophobes stealing oxygen ... there's far more valuable & worthy causes to throw our hatin' at

    Posted 3 months ago #
  38. baronsamedi

    baronsamedi

    Preferred Member
    Joined: May 2011
    Posts: 2,735

    offline

    Login to Send PM

    but just wish there weren't any violent homophobes stealing oxygen

    Totally agree with that. I actually get hit on by a lot of guys and I don't get it. To quote Jerry Seinfeld, "I find men repugnant and unappealing". Took me a bit to get used to but it's a joke between me and a couple of my gay friends now.

    Posted 3 months ago #
  39. aussielass

    aussielass

    Senior Member
    Joined: Oct 2011
    Posts: 549

    offline

    Login to Send PM

    Well, as a loather of Seinfeld he's just jumped way up in my esteem, one doesn't need to be a straight bloke to consider most men, usually of the single variety who're wishing they were no longer single, or simply out for a good time .... "I find men repugnant and unappealing" (hit the nail on the damn head there Gerry, especially if you'd added the word "liars" or "exaggeraters" after "unappealing"!) Giggles.

    Posted 3 months ago #
  40. hobie1dog

    hobie1dog

    Penzaholic
    Joined: Jun 2010
    Posts: 4,907

    offline

    Login to Send PM

    now back to "Real Men"

    Posted 3 months ago #
  41. aussielass

    aussielass

    Senior Member
    Joined: Oct 2011
    Posts: 549

    offline

    Login to Send PM

    now back to "Real Men"

    Huh, we never deviated from "Real Men", did we? LMAO!

    Posted 3 months ago #
  42. nsfisher

    nsfisher

    Member
    Joined: Nov 2011
    Posts: 1,750

    offline

    Login to Send PM

    i myself never understood the same sex issue and me thinks me never will. So i keep my opinions to meself, i'm safer that way lolol.

    Posted 3 months ago #
  43. judcole

    Jud

    Senior Member
    Joined: Sep 2011
    Posts: 1,160

    offline

    Login to Send PM

    None of us understand why it happens, NS - including folks who are attracted that way.

    Posted 3 months ago #
  44. User has not uploaded an avatar

    Anonymous

    Unregistered

    Posts: 524

    offline

    Login to Send PM

    provider, protector, loving, caring, honest, integerity, i feel these should be what definds a real man. of course we do fall down from time to time. we have to keep plugging away and keep trying to do right by our spouses and childern. devorice is terrible. it does change the lives of us and especially the childern suffer in these situations. no one wins with devorice.... but sometimes there are no options.... i hope your freind does ok during this tough time.

    mike.

    Posted 3 months ago #
  45. smokinggun

    smokinggun

    Junior Member
    Joined: Dec 2011
    Posts: 70

    offline

    Login to Send PM

    My husband is a "real man" in my eyes. Even if we go through hard times he is there to lift me up, he is good and loving to myself and our children. The problem is people are too selfish and spoiled today.

    Here I was reminded of why I have been married for five years to my husband. In the mist of all my flaws he loves and respects me. I have the tendency to be very hard on myself, my worse critic, be it school, my physical form, my art, my parenting, my stubbornness, etc.., my husband sees beauty in these things I often cannot. He embraces my weaknesses and only uses them to lift me up not pull me down.

    I am a 35 year old woman, mother of three, cancer survivor, and endured a life of extreme hardships and somewhere amongst all the rubble this man found a woman to be perfect, finding perfections within my imperfections. My scars are only marks of beauty and strength in his eyes. In today’s shallow minded world where people strive to find the perfect mate; they tend to overlook the idea of poetry in imperfection. So today I am reminded of how one man can love a woman that circumstance has worn down by life’s endeavors like the waves of a violent sea crashing upon the rocks of a once magnificent shore.

    So instead of setting the bar to high in search of the idea of something open your eyes to reality. Right in front of you could be happiness and you have been too blind to see it. This physical form will only grow old and wither away no matter how strong you become. It’s the essence that remains in the end.

    The following link is a peak inside my brain:
    http://blackpoisonousrivers.tumblr.com/
    Posted 3 months ago #
  46. aussielass

    aussielass

    Senior Member
    Joined: Oct 2011
    Posts: 549

    offline

    Login to Send PM

    Beautifully said smoknggun!

    Posted 3 months ago #
  47. admin

    Kevin

    Smoking a Pipe Right Now
    Joined: Nov 2008
    Posts: 4,719

    offline

    Login to Send PM

    Excellent SmokingGun!

    Posted 3 months ago #
  48. hobie1dog

    hobie1dog

    Penzaholic
    Joined: Jun 2010
    Posts: 4,907

    offline

    Login to Send PM

    and with that, we can close this thread, all other comments are not needed.

    Posted 3 months ago #

Topic Closed

This topic has been closed to new replies.

 

 

    Back To Top  | Back to Forum Home Page

   Members Online Now
   lankfordjl, mountainman, dhizzy, oldmaus, cortezattic, crpntr1, kcvet67, rcstan, kyletheaviator, whimsyt, photoman13, carlosviet, briarbird, mrdoody, uberam3rica, frennchy11, sorringowl, martiniman, sergemoat, lonestar, dogsmokingpipe