Dad at 80, Remembering Pipe Smoking

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maxx

Part of the Furniture Now
Apr 10, 2015
709
6
I visited my parents this weekend to celebrate my father's 80th birthday. I brought along my two Petersons and my Huck Finn Cob to show Dad. He didn't know I had taken up pipes and I wasn't sure I'd tell him, because I didn't want to get a health lecture (Dad sometimes thinks his children are still teenagers). I was waiting for the right time, if it came up. Dad smoked pipes in his 40s, and as we were talking he said how if he reaches 85 he was going to get a pipe and smoke it. There was my chance. I said I'd started smoking pipes and, to my surprise, his eyes lit up and he got a grin on his face. I brought out the pipes and laid them in his lap. I talked about them a bit, and he pointed to the Cob. "And I bet that one smokes the best," he said. He looked at Mom. "Oh that makes me want to smoke again," he said.
I took the pipes, and was holding one, talking about how I like to sit and watch a movie, smoking. I demonstrated, putting the pipe to my mouth. "Don't! Don't do that," he almost shouted. He got restless in his chair. "That does it. I'm going out tomorrow and buying a pipe!" Mom said the only thing she hated about his smoking before was he never took the pipe out of his mouth and he'd mumble when he talked and she couldn't stand that.
We were talking about the pleasure of smoking and he says:"What you"ll find out is that a pipe is like a lover." He put his hands up like he had a pipe in his mouth and he was tamping it and lighting it. "When I was smoking I was in my own world and everything was outside it. I could sit in a crowd of people and there was me and my pipe in our own world." He talked about the pleasure of packing and lighting and attending to the pipe. His eyes were shining with the memories.
I don't know if he'll start smoking again. Mom probably wouldn't want him smoking in the house, so that might stop him. "A pipe is like a lover." I'll always remember he said that. He said it with tenderness and longing. He doesn't think he'll live many years longer. I hope he allows himself to have again the pleasure he would get from a pipe. He deserves it.

 

alexnorth

Part of the Furniture Now
Apr 7, 2015
603
3
He seems like quite a philosopher. Here's to many years to come in his pipe smoking life!

 

huntertrw

Lifer
Jul 23, 2014
5,277
5,526
The Lower Forty of Hill Country
"What you"ll find out is that a pipe is like a lover."
Your father is a wise man, and what he said is true. Just as with a relationship with a woman, a pipe will give you back only what you put into it. Treat it with care and affection, and it will reward you. Treat it with casualness or, worse yet, indiffrence, and you are bound to be disappointed.
Were I you, I would make a gift of a cob-pipe and his favorite pipe-tobacco to him now. Even if he doesn't actually smoke it, I believe that he might appreciate the gesture. And while you're at it, congratulate him for me on the start of his eighth decade.

 

brass

Lifer
Jun 4, 2014
1,840
7
United States
I hope your mother cuts him some slack. I could be mistaken but believe it was Mark Twain who said, "You're a fool if you drink or smoke before you're fifty, you're an idiot if you don't drink an smoke after fifty."

 

rolldog

Starting to Get Obsessed
Oct 4, 2013
237
0
Awesome story and beautiful wisdom, thank you for sharing both with us. :puffy:

 

menuhin

Part of the Furniture Now
Oct 21, 2014
642
3
@ maxx

Thanks for sharing this piece of memory between you and your dad.

On "What you"ll find out is that a pipe is like a lover.", I think your mom has been glad to seize your dad back from his many lovers. :wink:

 

johnnyreb

Lifer
Aug 21, 2014
1,961
612
Congratulations on your dad's 80th birthday! That is a great accomplishment. And I am very glad for all your family that he is of sound mind & body too. At 80 what harm can come from enjoying the occasional bowl of his favorite tobacco? Of course, that situation is ultimately left to your mother & dad to work out between themselves.

 

okiescout

Lifer
Jan 27, 2013
1,530
6
Were I you, I would make a gift of a cob-pipe and his favorite pipe-tobacco to him now. Even if he doesn't actually smoke it, I believe that he might appreciate the gesture. And while you're at it, congratulate him for me on the start of his eighth decade.
Great idea, hunter!

 

mso489

Lifer
Feb 21, 2013
41,210
60,459
What a powerful moment with your dad on his birthday. The whole subject of the elderly and pipe smoking (and many other liberties) is pretty involved. Of course hospitals can't permit smoking (and I'll back that up). But also many rehabilitation and nursing and assisted care facilities don't either, so once a pipe smoker leaves home, the whole activity is verboten, one of the central remaining pleasures in life. Obviously, there's a problem anywhere oxygen is used, relative to burning anything. And there is the contradiction between a little pipe smoking and disorders such as high blood pressure, healing, respiratory problems, etc. But often, there is simply a difficulty in getting the person outdoors to a smoking area and monitoring them, with valuable, overstretched staff time. This is a strong argument for the elderly staying in their homes where they have some freedom of choice, when that is at all possible. Long live your pappy; may he enjoy a pipe now and then, for the pleasure and the memories.

 

lawmax3

Can't Leave
Jan 18, 2013
405
12
Great story manxx!

I also like hunters Idea for getting him a corncob pipe and some tobacco. Might I also suggest a really nice Dunhill, Peterson, Savinelli or whatever he might like. Ill bet he deserves it. :)

 

mso489

Lifer
Feb 21, 2013
41,210
60,459
I'd recommend buying him a tin of Nat Sherman 536, a mild, elegant, complex English blend. I bet he'd like it.

 

maxx

Part of the Furniture Now
Apr 10, 2015
709
6
I thought about giving him my Peterson Billiard since that's the shape of pipe he always smoked. A new Cob is a good idea, too. I decided to not anticipate his choice to smoke again and allow him the pleasure of making the choice without prompting. It would be exciting for him to walk into a tobacco store, look over the pipes and pick out his first pipe in 40 years. If he starts smoking I'll bring down some blends to introduce him to something other than Sir Walter Raleigh and Prince Albert, which is what he smoked before. I'll also get him a higher priced Billiard than what he'd buy on his own. I'd bet anything he rooted through the storage room for his old pipes after I left.

 

av8scuba

Starting to Get Obsessed
Jan 4, 2013
298
0
Mid-Missouri
@maxx - awesome story. If I live anywhere near 80, I hope to still be smoking my daily bowl. It seems to help the world go by a little better.
Regards. :puffy:

 

brudnod

Part of the Furniture Now
Aug 26, 2013
938
6
Great Falls, VA
Do you know what particular pipe style and tobacco he preferred? This is a great opportunity that I wished I had had with my grandfather who died when I was about 8 years old. He was the pipe smoker who I most respected... Such an opportunity!

 

ejames

Lifer
Oct 6, 2009
3,916
22
I hope he does take it up again! If he remembers it that fondly I'm sure he has missed it many times over the years!!

 

jkrug

Lifer
Jan 23, 2015
2,867
8
That sounds like a magical moment the two of you shared together. Something to be cherished. I hope the two of you enjoy a smoke together soon. :puffy:

 

newbroom

Lifer
Jul 11, 2014
6,130
6,818
Florida
The old man enjoyed cobs and codgers. That's plenty enough for any man. Sure, you can expose Dad to some 'new' tastes, but, what he's looking for are those moments of pure and simple bliss he used to know.

There is precious little for old men to get enthusiastic about as they rumble through each day back and forth to the bathroom and listening to the onslaught of advertisements attempting to extract his last penny on TV.

Time for Dad to reminisce. Relax. Restore. Rewind. Revitalize. Re-light!

 

rx2man

Part of the Furniture Now
May 25, 2012
590
11
"He doesn't think he'll live many years longer"
At this point a pipe is certainly not going to shorten anything and I think it could help. Puffing on a pipe is relaxing and meditative. Anytime you are in that state it's a good thing. Nothing wrong with lowering stress and blood pressure. Something you can tell mom as a benefit of pipe smoking. Once you got mom on board pops will be good to go. Its also good for you 2, nice to sit in the back with the old man trying out blends together. I am 44 and my father died 2 yrs ago, still miss him and did not get to spend enough time with him before he passed. I am in AZ and he was in WA, I would have enjoyed sitting in the back with him smoking a pipe and shooting the sh*t.

 

fnord

Lifer
Dec 28, 2011
2,746
8
Topeka, KS
Maxx:
Dear God, buy your dad the best cob or briar out there. Burn a few bowls of PA or SWA in it and then give that burner to him with a pouch of each and a box of matches. If he wants to smoke, great. If not, he'll enjoy the scent you left behind.
During the past few years I've encouraged my in-laws and father to light up and enjoy an adult beverage. All were and are in their late 80's and early 90's and, by any count, that's a dammed good run.
Bear in mind that none of us are getting out of here alive. But, if a puff of smoke or a sip of bourbon brings back a pleasant memory then bring it on. Your club is down 3-2. It's the bottom of the ninth. The bases are loaded and there's two outs. What would you do?
More importantly, any man who says, "What you"ll find out is that a pipe is like a lover," deserves to give his last breath with one nearby.
Peace, brother.
Fnord

 
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