When choosing blends to fill a pipe
One must avoid the PR hype
Can every one smoke “smooth” and “cool”?
What do they take me for? A fool?
We must give thought to what we smoke
What some call “smooth” makes others choke
What some call “cool” sets tongues aflame
Tobacco choice is not a game.
I reached for a MacBaren tin
It bit me; I won’t reach again.
And then I thought “Perhaps perique.”
But all that nic just made me weak.
Penzance is the smoke of gods
But I was out. What are the odds?
“Perhaps a Dunhill mood I’m in –
A Murray or an Orlik tin?”
But neither struck the perfect note.
So many choices. . . (not to gloat).
“McClelland might help me unwind.”
But it brought hot dogs to my mind.
I thought of Pease, I thought of Dan
and Rattray’s in its yellow can,
Balkans, English, VaPers too
None were right. What could I do?
But just as I reached my wit’s end
I spied a jar: A long-lost friend.
I filled, I lit, and out I blew
Aromatic clouds. . . of Lane’s 1Q.
Bob Bittner
(Sorry, I've been making up rhyming stories for my 3-year-old niece. This just popped into my head.)
One must avoid the PR hype
Can every one smoke “smooth” and “cool”?
What do they take me for? A fool?
We must give thought to what we smoke
What some call “smooth” makes others choke
What some call “cool” sets tongues aflame
Tobacco choice is not a game.
I reached for a MacBaren tin
It bit me; I won’t reach again.
And then I thought “Perhaps perique.”
But all that nic just made me weak.
Penzance is the smoke of gods
But I was out. What are the odds?
“Perhaps a Dunhill mood I’m in –
A Murray or an Orlik tin?”
But neither struck the perfect note.
So many choices. . . (not to gloat).
“McClelland might help me unwind.”
But it brought hot dogs to my mind.
I thought of Pease, I thought of Dan
and Rattray’s in its yellow can,
Balkans, English, VaPers too
None were right. What could I do?
But just as I reached my wit’s end
I spied a jar: A long-lost friend.
I filled, I lit, and out I blew
Aromatic clouds. . . of Lane’s 1Q.
Bob Bittner
(Sorry, I've been making up rhyming stories for my 3-year-old niece. This just popped into my head.)
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But it made a good rhyme.
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