Whimsical essay that depends too much on stereotypes. I don't have any idea what a hipster is.
I think certain groups of young people affecting stylish clothes and some of them smoking pipes,
while living in Brooklyn, may come close to filling the stereotype, but probably they are all into
separate individual lives that define them better than the word hipster.
I would say categorically you can't be a hipster if:
You are over sixty. You have ever served in the military. You have ever had a job that included
cleaning toilets. You have ever been a responsible caretaker of a seriously ill person.
There are other markers that eliminate you from ever being a hipster, but those will suffice.
I think hipsters are inexperienced young people who annoy their peers and elders by being
dramatic about their clothing and habits. Wait about two months and they will be doing
something else, often something good.