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Adult Truths

(30 posts)
  1. igloo

    igloo

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    Adult Truths *** 1. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is. 2. Nothing stinks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong. ... 3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger. 4. There is great need for a sarcasm font. ... 5. How in the world are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet? 6. Was learning cursive really necessary? 7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on # 5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood. 8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died. 9. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired. 10. Bad decisions make good stories. 11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day. 12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don't want to have to restart my collection...again. 13. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I swear I did not make any changes to. 14. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call. 15. I think the freezer deserves a light as well. 16. I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option. 17. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger. 18. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said? 19. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters! 20. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever. 21. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey -but I'd bet everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time

    “There was an awful suspicion in my mind that I'd finally gone over the hump, and the worst thing about it was that I didn't feel tragic at all, but only weary, and sort of comfortably detached.”
    Posted 7 years ago #
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    Anonymous

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    +1 All true!

    Posted 7 years ago #
  3. olderthandirt

    OTD

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    lol
    My life in a nutshell!

    Snus, snuff and briar.
    Not much more required in a day.
    Brian from Oregon USA
    Posted 7 years ago #
  4. seanz

    seanz

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    Lol and from what i hear it just gets Better

    New Zealand
    Peter Piper.
    Give me the weed, the fragrant weed, My wearied brain to calm; In a wreath of smoke, while I crack my joke, I'll find a healing balm.
    Posted 7 years ago #
  5. hobie1dog

    hobie1dog

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    profound truths from another Genius

    " I'm talking about the kind of sound you can feel. When it comes to great stereo you can't beat big speakers, I'm talking about big speakers with big woofers."
    Posted 7 years ago #
  6. hauntedmyst

    hauntedmyst

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    Those are great!

    A tattoo on a beautiful woman is like graffiti on a Ferrari.
    Posted 7 years ago #
  7. collindow

    Collin Dow

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    That paragraph is my new credo.

    Photobucket
    The best gift to give a woman is what she told you she wanted when she thought you weren't listening.
    Posted 7 years ago #
  8. sherlock

    sherlock

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    Great post.

    Posted 7 years ago #
  9. lonestar

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    Awesome.
    I'd save that whole thing as my signature, except that 22. For every fifty great ideas, I'll follow through with one of them, and that will take me a few months to get around to.

    -Ryan Alden
    Posted 7 years ago #
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    You forgot one. When I am feeling particularly grumpy, I tell my younger friends that one day they will wake up sore or hurting from something and they have had their last pain free day. For the rest of their lives they will hurt or ache somewhere to some degree every day.

    Posted 7 years ago #
  11. bubbadreier

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    Wow that just made my night! Thank you

    Mason jars and bale top jars, mason jars and bale top jars.... that is all!

    "There’s truth in the statement that pipe tobacco will never be any less expensive than it is today, so think of your cellar as a cost averaged investment" - G.L. Pease
    Posted 7 years ago #
  12. krgulick

    krgulick

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    True, so very true.

    Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, for you are small and crunchy and taste good with ketchup.
    Posted 7 years ago #
  13. spyder71

    Spyder

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    Love it!

    "I used to cry because I had no shoes. Until I met a man who had no feet"- My favorite and I use it to get by...

    Support The Epilepsy Awareness Foundation!
    Posted 7 years ago #
  14. ace57

    ace57

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    You hit a home run.

    U.S.M.C. (SEMPER FI)
    Posted 7 years ago #
  15. morlader

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    Very true and you know when you're old when you go in an antique shop and remember using the stuff in there

    Posted 7 years ago #
  16. pipetrucker

    pipetrucker

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    Geez, and here I was working so hard to convince myself that I wasn't getting old.

    Amusing read, thanks for the chuckles. The "Word" one struck me as especially funny (because I have experienced it).

    Mason

    And though it is much to be a nobleman, it is more to be a gentleman. - Anthony Trollope
    Posted 7 years ago #
  17. mustangii

    mustangii

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    true, so true.

    edm

    Posted 7 years ago #
  18. logandow

    logandow

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    ms word brings out the worst of my paranoia

    A man without a pipe is a man unprepared
    Posted 7 years ago #
  19. hobie1dog

    hobie1dog

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    #9 is my credo

    Posted 1 year ago #
  20. mso489

    mso489

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    That's a prose poem everyone should receive printed and folded in their card on their fortieth birthday. Before that, it would make no sense.

    Posted 1 year ago #
  21. wyfbane

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    Everyone should learn cursive. Just because. Otherwise, spot on.

    Posted 1 year ago #
  22. captaincalabash

    captaincalabash

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    Perfect! And so true!

    I have 2 rules that I live by: the first is, "Never tell all that you know."
    Posted 1 year ago #
  23. aquadoc

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    Words to ponder and live by... Except for #6. Cursive is necessary in a world full of barbarians. Even bad cursive.

    "If you resolve to give up smoking, drinking and sex, you don't actually live longer; it just seems that way."
    Posted 1 year ago #
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    frozenchurchwarden

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    I learned Copperplate, or at least it's the basis for my script.
    One of the great things about script writing is you actually get to make your own as long as it conforms to the basic recognisable shapes. That way you can have a "signature" that is both completely unique and still legible at the same time.

    Posted 1 year ago #
  25. mso489

    mso489

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    Always take along sufficient reading material, book or magazine, and you will never have to wait in line or for an appointment very long. Carry an umbrella to prevent rain.

    Posted 1 year ago #
  26. brass

    brass

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    My addition:

    Material labled "Adult" usually is best suited for adolescents.

    This post was a welcome exception.

    Posted 1 year ago #
  27. mcitinner1

    mcitinner1

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    I'm a poor example. In the Air Force (72-76) all our daily reports had to be hand done and in printed fashion, no cursive. I got used to doing it that way and spent the rest of my life printing. I never have been a writer like my wife, so the skill of cursive is lost to me, and I'm too lazy to re-learn it. Typing on a laptop is good enough for me. Nuff said.

    Stan
    Godfrey Daniels!!
    The Plenipotent Key to Cope's Correct Card of the Peerless Pilgrimage to Saint Nicotine of the Holy Herb:
    Posted 1 year ago #
  28. deathmetal

    deathmetal

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    Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.

    True, but often it is better not to know. That way your final memory is still the person as you knew them, not as a wretching proto-carcass filled with tubes in a hospital bed.

    "My own experience has been that the tools I need for my trade are paper, tobacco, food, and a little whiskey." -- William Faulkner

    The Metal Mixtures
    Posted 1 year ago #
  29. pipesmokingtom

    pipesmokingtom

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    wretching proto-carcass

    GREAT name for a garage metal band.

    "We have an unspoken, mutual understanding to ignore the things we hate about each other so we can continue to enjoy the things we love about each other."
    Posted 1 year ago #
  30. deathmetal

    deathmetal

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    Crepitate with me:
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jz3l-5X4jLM

    Posted 1 year ago #

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