A Gift For The Piper Who Has Everything?

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flakyjakey

Lifer
Aug 21, 2013
1,117
7
It's 10.00 am UK time and I'm onsite, completely alone - "So Lonely.." Was that a 'Police' song?
This is to me a very serious question.
To put it in context, last evening, after two bottles of wine between us, my OH (her indoors) said, apropos of nothing, "What do you want, two or four?"

"What!" I retorted, "two or four what?"

"Two or for pipes size for your pipe bag," she said.

"What pipe bag," I said, "I don't want one of those poofy shoulder bags!"

"You said you wanted one for Christmas!" She said, getting irritated with me at this point. "I've seen a very nice one, made by Dunhill, lovely leather!"
It turned out that when Alan (the born-again briar one) and his OH were round at our place (see my topic "Flaky Meets Reborn"), I had pretended to admire his pipe carrier (I'm not saying he's metrosexual, you understand) and jokingly asserted that I wanted one for my Crimbo Prezzy!! Oh goodness me (or Anglo-Saxon words to that effect) - the demon drink! LOL
Anyway, this morning she and I had a sober discussion. It turned out that she had been planning to commission a Chris Askwith Morta for me (what a woman she is!) and was secretly upset when I had done that myself. She would like to get me something special in the piping line. I have previously mentioned that she bought me a stunning 1914 Barling for my 60th birthday, photographs of which I will post, now I (sort of) know how to add pics to my posts (see my pathetic pictorial attempts of me introducing my son to our hobby in the "Girlfriend, wife, family etc topic).
She wants to get me something I will treasure for life. I've said I don't want a pipe bag. Not a pipe - I have about 60, and am struggling to give them all a smoke at last once a month. I have a Dunhill Rollagas lighter, modified for the pipe, and a great Dunhill pewter ashtray with a cork pipe knocker (perfect for the lazy man). I have a vintage leather, oilskin-lined tobacco pouch inherited from my late father and a marvellous vintage bakelite 'Baccyflap'. All these accessories are treasured, all employed.
So, the serious question is what could she gift me? All suggestions will be given serious consideration!!

 

sergemoat

Can't Leave
Oct 15, 2011
340
0
Where are you keeping all those pipes now? A nice pipe cabinet/display might be in order.

 

flakyjakey

Lifer
Aug 21, 2013
1,117
7
@sergemoat, a very good suggestion. But about 6 months ago my OH got so tired of all my "shit" (pipes and paraphernalia) messing up 'her' utility room that she got a carpenter friend of hers to build a wall cabinet in the utility room/dog house (where she allows me to smoke). It is basic, but very functional and she doesn't consider it to be a suitable gift - more of a necessity! LOL

 

flakyjakey

Lifer
Aug 21, 2013
1,117
7
That's a really good suggestion - it's now on the list of "possibles". I would have to make sure the dog didn't chew it, so maybe it shouldn't be upholstered in leather. Kevlar?? LOL

 

guhrillastile

Starting to Get Obsessed
Mar 29, 2013
208
0
Let the dog chew it! It's YOUR chair.
I can assure you, but a quick of bitters will cure the most active of a teething moose.

 

flakyjakey

Lifer
Aug 21, 2013
1,117
7
Yes, excellent idea LOL - that's the stuff my mum used to put on my finger nails to stop me biting them - right?

 

guhrillastile

Starting to Get Obsessed
Mar 29, 2013
208
0
Yep. That's the stuff.
When I got my lil Mastiff he was just a lil guy. He started teething on a teak table I had on the back patio. I figured I would put bitters in it but he was just so happy I let him. He would gnaw with his lil needle teeth while I relaxed and smoked and smiled contented.
It was a beautiful table. But it was the only piece he chewed and I watched him over the months grow stronger and utterly destroy that table I made. Still to this day I don't regret losing that table. Should if out bitters on it. But I have pictures from my lap looking down through my feet at his miniature muzzle sleeping mouth open on the bottom rail of that table. I wouldn't trade them. I can always make another table.
Not saying you SHOULD allow thine hounte to chew. But there are worse things in life than a few chew marks.

 

flakyjakey

Lifer
Aug 21, 2013
1,117
7
@saintpeter, Gee-suss, what dogs have you? - a pack of rabid pitbulls?? What cats? - a pride of angry mountain lions?? LOL

 

pruss

Lifer
Feb 6, 2013
3,558
370
Mytown
Greetings Flaky, from my morning coffee with dog firmly ensconced at my feet.
Have you considered a custom display stand for your pipes? Grant Batson has made some wonderful stands you can see them here: http://www.gbatsonpipes.com/pipe-stands.html I'm sure you'll have some wonderful, artistic, wood workers closer to home. But Grant's work is pretty.
-- Pat

 

flakyjakey

Lifer
Aug 21, 2013
1,117
7
@pruss, another great idea. I don't have many 'fancy looking' pipes like those shown, but I could select a few. It might even persuade my OH that it could be treated as a bespoke item of furniture and allowed into the main house! LOL It's now on the 'possibles' list.

 

dochudson

Lifer
May 11, 2012
1,635
12
I have lusted for one of these for years but evidently it doesn't fit with the wife's idea of proper style..

Ekornes-Vegas-Leather-Recliner.jpg

or one of these would would be a great idea..

ugly_pig_dog.jpg


 

Perique

Lifer
Sep 20, 2011
4,098
3,884
www.tobaccoreviews.com
Flaky, since you do sound like the piper who has everything's here's a suggestion: instead of a "thing", how about a trip? A memory of which you will always treasure. Maybe the two of you could take a trip to some Mecca of pipedom. Not sure where that is, really. But just an idea. The flagship store of your favorite pipe maker, or the workshop of your favorite artisan. Maybe a tobacco factory in Denmark, Meerschaum carver in Turkey, St James Parish, LA, etc.

 

flakyjakey

Lifer
Aug 21, 2013
1,117
7
@dochudson, my kind of chair, but the footrest as well would not fit in the doghouse. The chair, though?
Goodness me! (expletive!) what is that??!! It would scare the shit out of my poor bitch, me as well!! lol

 

flakyjakey

Lifer
Aug 21, 2013
1,117
7
@perique, a great idea. It would probably be Ireland, my ancestral home. We could drink 'real' Guinness and eat some wonderful seafood. I might even step in to the Peterson shop, but avoid the walk-in humidor!! LOL
But she wants to buy me a 'something'!!

 

cigrmaster

Lifer
May 26, 2012
20,249
57,280
66
Sarasota Florida
If she truly loves you then I think she should buy you this.
http://www.ebay.com/itm/Jess-Chonowitsch-Straight-Grain-Tulip-free-hand-ultra-high-grade-/121182935265?pt=LH_DefaultDomain_0&hash=item1c3710d8e1

 

flakyjakey

Lifer
Aug 21, 2013
1,117
7
Good God Sir!! That's huge, Harris, and very beautiful! I'd be scared to smoke it lol Are you sure there isn't an extra "0" on the price?

 
Dec 24, 2012
7,195
456
Just carry a man purse like Harris does and throw your pipes in there.
Re Grant Batson, I have one of his magnetic stands and it is wonderful, but I don't believe he has the time to make them anymore - or at least that is what I was told when I asked him.

 
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