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A funeral for a homeless man...

(20 posts)
  • Started 5 months ago by hauntedmyst
  • Latest reply from clanobucklin
  1. hauntedmyst

    hauntedmyst

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    As a bagpiper, I play many gigs. Recently I was asked by a funeral director to play at a graveside service for a homeless man. He had no family or friends, so the service was to be at a pauper's cemetery in the Kentucky back country.

    As I was not familiar with the backwoods, I got lost and, being a typical man, I didn't stop for directions.

    I finally arrived an hour late and saw the funeral guy had evidently gone and the hearse was nowhere in sight. There were only the diggers and crew left and they were eating lunch.

    I felt badly and apologized to the men for being late. I went to the side of the grave and looked down and the vault lid was already in place. I didn't know what else to do, so I started to play.

    The workers put down their lunches and began to gather around. I played out my heart and soul for this man with no family and friends. I played like I've never played before for this homeless man.

    And as I played 'Amazing Grace,' the workers began to weep. They wept, I wept, we all wept together. When I finished I packed up my bagpipes and started for my car. Though my head hung low, my heart was full.

    As I opened the door to my car, I heard one of the workers say, "I never seen nothin' like that before and I've been putting in septic tanks for twenty years."

    A tattoo on a beautiful woman is like graffiti on a Ferrari.
    Posted 5 months ago #
  2. lordnoble

    lordnoble

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    Hah! Best part was that I couldn't see the punchline until I scrolled down! Ya got me again!

    -Jason

    unclearthur on high nicotine blends:
    A few will leave you wandering around wondering who you are .
    Posted 5 months ago #
  3. irish2fish

    irish2fish

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    Nice one!

    God loves the Infantry!
    Posted 5 months ago #
  4. rickpal14

    rickpal14

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    DAMN!!!!!!!!!!!!! He got me too!!!

    Posted 5 months ago #
  5. philip

    Philip

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    I think I knew that family. Didn't he have an Aunti Septic?

    Posted 5 months ago #
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    assaad

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    haha that one was amazing!

    Posted 5 months ago #
  7. jchaplick

    jchaplick

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    totally got me. no dif ands or buts, got me 100%

    Congress seems to believe that 'Children are our future' is a phrase coined by tobacco advertisers.
    Jef I. Richards
    Posted 5 months ago #
  8. pstlpkr

    Lawrence

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    Got me three!

    Posted 5 months ago #
  9. rd02sir

    CanAsianPiper

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    Baaahhahaahaa that was awesome!

    Posted 5 months ago #
  10. admin

    Kevin

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    Ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!!!

    Check Out Our Sister Site - Cigar Chronicles

    Certified Master Tobacconist (CMT) #1858
    Posted 5 months ago #
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    Anonymous

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    bless you sir, you have brought a tear to my 52 year old eyes. your a good man.

    mike.

    Posted 5 months ago #
  12. yohanan

    yohanan

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    Nicely done!!!

    Posted 5 months ago #
  13. portascat

    portascat

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    I have cried over a few septic tanks in my life, as well.

    "To seek freedom is the only driving force I know. Freedom to fly off into that infinity out there."
    Posted 5 months ago #
  14. olderthandirt

    OTD

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    hehehe

    Score!

    Snus, snuff and briar.
    Not much more required in a day.
    Brian from Oregon USA
    Posted 5 months ago #
  15. ace57

    ace57

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    Got Me.

    U.S.M.C. (SEMPER FI)
    Posted 5 months ago #
  16. shaintiques

    shaintiques

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    That was freakin hilarious!

    I know what I need, smoke, I can't recall the last time I tasted it....Gandalf in the mines of Moria.

    "we shall have to share pipes, as good friends must at a pinch'....'I keep a treasure or two near my skin, as precious as rings to me. Here's one: my old wooden pipe. And here's another an unused one...He held up a small pipe with a wide flattened bowl, and handed it to Gimli. 'Does that settle the score between us', said Merry. 'Most noble hobbit, it leaves me deep in your debt."
    Posted 5 months ago #
  17. smokenscotch

    smokenscotch

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    Hilarious, thanks for the laugh.

    Posted 5 months ago #
  18. pipeinhand

    pipeinhand

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    Dude, they buried him in a septic tank??? Man that is a pauper.

    There is nothing like being left alone again, to walk peacefully with oneself in the woods.
    To boil one's coffee and fill one's pipe, and to think idly and slowly as one does it.
    Posted 5 months ago #
  19. sherlock

    sherlock

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    Great joke! It totally caught me off guard.

    Posted 5 months ago #
  20. clanobucklin

    clanobucklin

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    OMG! That is too funny - good one Amigo! You totally had me till I looked closely at the final line.

    Posted 5 months ago #

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