What Does Your "Ideal" Tobacco Review Look Like?

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Dec 24, 2012
7,195
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In terms of length, in most cases I like a well structured paragraph of 3-6 sentences and not much more. I read a lot of fine wine reviews, and there are a number of masters in that field who know how to write a short, pithy review that is jam packed with information and gets to the point very quickly.
Of course, the more entertaining and well-written it is, the more I am willing to indulge a longer review. As a general guideline, I like my movies two hours or less in length - but the Godfather gets a free pass.

 

warren

Lifer
Sep 13, 2013
11,728
16,318
Foothills of the Chugach Range, AK
All I'm really interested in is the content of the blend, the cut, toppings (if any) and the moisture level. Room note not essential as I never notice room note myself. Too many other variables with regard to personal taste and physiology for me to pay any attention to a taste test type of review.
Edit: A bit of an expansion of my answer. I do look at reviews by members who seem to have been around a while. If a review piques my interest I might try a tin and if I experience similar tastes, etc. as the reviewer I put a bit of value on further reviews by the same author.

 
May 31, 2012
4,295
34
I agree that the reviewer is often more vital than the review, finding a similar palate match to your own. I'm still working my way thru Lat blends and I've found SteelCowboy on TR to converge with my preferences, so it's of value for me to get a good gauge on some unknown tobo.
Sometimes the most short and concise reviews are the most helpful ones when trying to get a handle on something good to try.
Sometimes I purposely avoid reviews of a tobo I'm going to smoke for the first time, and then read the reviews after the fact.
After reading the flavor-wheel thread, it got me to thinking I need to make use of it, to get a shorthand profile of primary and secondary traits, then expand from that base with the more ineffable nuances. I'm not a particularly good reviewer, but it's something I want to try and work on.
Sometimes I enjoy reading the long evocative reviews because often certain moods are captured and conveyed which highlight the more mysterious aspects of tobacco, the psychological realm of subjective interpretation can be an interesting thing, and such Proustian prose can help appreciate the more subtle depths...

No sooner had the warm liquid mixed with the crumbs touched my palate than a shudder ran through me and I stopped, intent upon the extraordinary thing that was happening to me. An exquisite pleasure had invaded my senses, something isolated, detached, with no suggestion of its origin. And at once the vicissitudes of life had become indifferent to me, its disasters innocuous, its brevity illusory – this new sensation having had on me the effect which love has of filling me with a precious essence; or rather this essence was not in me it was me. ... Whence did it come? What did it mean? How could I seize and apprehend it? ... And suddenly the memory revealed itself. The taste was that of the little piece of madeleine which on Sunday mornings at Combray (because on those mornings I did not go out before mass), when I went to say good morning to her in her bedroom, my aunt Léonie used to give me, dipping it first in her own cup of tea or tisane. The sight of the little madeleine had recalled nothing to my mind before I tasted it. And all from my cup of tea.

But when from a long-distant past nothing subsists, after the people are dead, after the things are broken and scattered, taste and smell alone, more fragile but more enduring, more unsubstantial, more persistent, more faithful, remain poised a long time, like souls, remembering, waiting, hoping, amid the ruins of all the rest; and bear unflinchingly, in the tiny and almost impalpable drop of their essence, the vast structure of recollection.

-Marcel Proust

http://www.haverford.edu/psych/ddavis/p109g/proust.html
A tobacco like St. Bruno is difficult to accurately review because of the compounded nature of its complex essence. The old recipe is online and one finds the essence contains stuff like Musk Ketone, Courmarin, and Cassia Oil, amongst other things - but knowing the technical info hasn't really added to my enjoyment or even really unwrapped the mystery, trying to discover the secret I found myself reading perfume blogs LOL and learning about aldehydes and an olfactive group known as Chypre (this sharp scent is based on harmony of oak moss, labdanum, patchouli and bergamot). Musk Ambrette or Musk Mallow? I'm still in the dark!
The old professor gives a good review of it:

http://pipes.priss.org/misc.php#saint_bruno
Pruss,

since you're well familiar with sensorial education, could you recco a "palate builder kit" of spices, herbs and fruits or whatever that would help expand my vocabulary with these things? I'm not really a foodie and don't have a wide range of taste references, I'd love to develop my flavor detection skills, would a "palate builder kit" be effective or possible to do this?

 

rmbittner

Lifer
Dec 12, 2012
2,759
1,995
I admit to not having read *all* of the previous posts in this thread, but I definitely agree with the majority on the main points.
The one thing I really appreciate in a blend review is some indication that the reviewer is familiar with the style and can compare/contrast the blend under review with other similar offerings.
Frankly, I couldn't care less about "room note" or how easily a blend "takes a light," unless there is something especially newsworthy about these things. (For instance, it's definitely helpful to know the work that goes into preparing Dark Star for the bowl. But that's a pretty unusual example.) And "room note" is virtually impossible for the smoker to critique accurately. Flavor and aroma -- to the smoker -- are far more meaningful to me.
And I have to heartily agree with those here who want a review to be a review -- not a literary exercise, not poetry, and certainly not self-help. Honestly, it isn't always helpful to even know if the reviewer *liked* a blend or not, since all of our tastes differ. But if the description is accurately and thoughtfully presented, I'll be able to decide for myself whether or not I'll like it.
Personally, I've found a small handful of reviewers whose opinions and palates I trust. They don't wax on about the dozens of non-tobacco flavors they've encountered in a blend -- we can talk ourselves into tasting/smelling just about anything from blueberry compote to "wet straw after a clean spring rain." Be real. Yes, a reviewer's palate may be so highly refined that he/she actually can suss out a dozen different flavors, but how does that help the vast majority of us who aren't so keenly attuned? In most cases, I'd say that it doesn't.
Bob

 

mso489

Lifer
Feb 21, 2013
41,210
60,459
My main requirement is factual information rather than a reviewer trying to cast a spell. Sometimes it feels

like reviewers are writing to fill the page, as if they are being paid by the word, and just want to string it out.

Unrelated subjects are unacceptable. A review should read as if it is rigorously edited, pared down, either

because it is, or because the writer is direct and to the point.

 

warren

Lifer
Sep 13, 2013
11,728
16,318
Foothills of the Chugach Range, AK
"No sooner had the warm liquid . . . " is right up there with "It was a dark and stormy night . . . " Those who enjoy seeing this style of tripe will enjoy the "The Bulwar-Lytton Fiction Contest." It presents awards to really badly written prose.

 

owen

Part of the Furniture Now
May 28, 2014
560
2
Reference to other similar tobaccos is always useful, also knowing which companies version of the blend it is.

 

bigpond

Lifer
Oct 14, 2014
2,019
13
Weird necro but this man nailed it-
Peck said:

In terms of length, in most cases I like a well structured paragraph of 3-6 sentences and not much more. I read a lot of fine wine reviews, and there are a number of masters in that field who know how to write a short, pithy review that is jam packed with information and gets to the point very quickly.

 

jackswilling

Lifer
Feb 15, 2015
1,777
24
Yes a Zombie thread.

Look over the reviews to get a feel for what to expect.

Agree with the notion that the reviewer is the key, not how well written the review is. I look for, am not limited to

The Stud

The Ink

First and foremost

And also look for

DK

Stevie B

Steel Cowboy

Others

I find the Tobacco Reviews useful

YouTube reviews are worthless to me.

If Pipe Stud loves it, and it is not "strong" I will like it as a general matter. If Jim Inks likes it same.

 

badger

Starting to Get Obsessed
Jan 2, 2016
105
0
Just a fun challenge: in your tobacco review, when referring to the past tense act opening a tin, observing the pouch note or lighting a bowl, resist the urge to use the word "upon."

 

newbroom

Lifer
Jul 11, 2014
6,128
6,790
Florida
I usually go to tobacco reviews dot com and look for a particular blend I may be curious about, and when I do, I look for a certain few reviews from which I can make a reasonable determination as to the value of their subject.
Among those are:

1. JimInks

2. Pipestud

3. DK

(deathmetal, of these forums, has a lot of reviews up, but his opinion seems to vary to extremes)

 

sablebrush52

The Bard Of Barlings
Jun 15, 2013
19,767
45,332
Southern Oregon
jrs457.wixsite.com
Raising the dead again.
Short, focused, descriptive in an understandable manner, objective as possible. JimInks, DK, Steel Cowboy immediately come to mind as reviewers I find helpful. A lack of "I" phrases is a pretty good sign.
I don't need to know, nor care to know, that the reviewer washed his long johns in lye soap for the first time this month or that his "Unkle Jody rassled gators until he got et by one". That's more for youtube anyway.

 
Jun 27, 2016
1,273
117
A lot of my "trusted reviewers" are the same as everyone elses!
I like to hear about the specific flavors/odors that people pick up. It's most helpful if the reference is something that I may actually have tasted or could taste/smell easily, or at least look up online to find out what else their reference tastes/smells like. I think that someone posted a picture of a very detailed "flavor-wheel" on here a while ago that I meant to save. I'm sure a google search would bring it right up.
If someone says that they like or dislike the flavor of blend, it's helpful to include why! It's not very useful to say how they reacted to the taste and just leave it at that.
:puffpipe:

 

deathmetal

Lifer
Jul 21, 2015
7,714
32
Every genre of reviews has its stereotype, and most are bad because they miss the bigger point.
For example:
The leaf unloads in a ribbon cut that is easy to stuff and pack with minimal drying. On first light, the warm honey and hay flavor of the Virginias overwhelms the palate. After the tamp and re-light, the smoky leather and coffee flavors of Latakia intervene. At the third of a bowl marker, the tangy vinegar and sausage flavor of the Orientals appears, but in the second half of the bowl, the nutty Burley flavor emerges with overtones of steak, beans, eggs and Worchestshire sauce. The last half of the bowl brings out the fruity and spicy flavors of the Perique, which have a unique fig and gefilte fish taste. The bowl ends with very little dottle and burns down to a fine white ash. It is relatively light on Lady N, but I would not smoke it on a 6 AM Las Vegas morning after a hangover and dehydration by participating in a BBW orgy in Caesar's Palace. I would smoke this again if it were free, like this sample, but otherwise, this is a great tobacco for people who like similar tobaccos, and they might enjoy it especially if they like leather and sausage flavor in their tobacco.
Some of this is necessary, but the flavor metaphor and adjective overload becomes painful, especially since the point of a blend is how its elements work together to make a unique flavor and smoking experience. What these reviews reflect is the need of the reviewer to write something mostly positive about everything put out by their corporate sponsors, and to do so in an assembly-line fashion enough that they can keep cranking them out without having to do the hard work of writing, which is to describe in an evocative and intriguing way the blend and bring out its actual utility to the smoker.
Death metal reviews are exactly the same thing:
When I first threw this disc on, I thought, "Oh man, another brutal death metal band." But Eviscerated Colon is... different. At first, I could only hear the mixed samba and grindcore style drums, but then I got mesmerized by the droning trance-like guitar riffs that seemed to be melted from raw twisted metal, reeling and groaning like a submarine at 800 feet deep that just hit an aquatic mine. Then in crashed the lead guitars, bluesy and rich with plenty of accidentals but contorted on themselves like a drunk meth-head gutshot by the law. Finally, the riffs hit me. Wow, what a cornucopia of sound! Fruity jazz-based riffs explode into the soundscape like tomatoes thrown at a movie preview, and staccato chromatic riffs detonate like a row of squash plants ground under a steamroller. Then I realized, this is totally brutal. It will tear your head off and crush your soul. The album wound down in an explosion of violence, leaving behind no thoughts of my own. If you really like brutal death metal, but want it with some jazz and indie rock action, this band may be your favorite this week.
The great writers out there strive to bring you the experience as a whole, not dissect it into parts ("deconstruction"?) and then layer those in superlatives.
$0.02

 

shutterbugg

Lifer
Nov 18, 2013
1,451
21
Because peoples' taste varies widely, the important thing for me is finding a reviewer whose taste most closely approximates my own. I look for reviews of blends I've smoked. If a reviewer and I agree on the majority of those, then I'm apt to trust that reviewer on blends I'm thinking of buying, regardless of how well the guy writes.

 

mso489

Lifer
Feb 21, 2013
41,210
60,459
I think others have touched on this, but it is essential that the blender/brand be stated; the constituent tobaccos and cut be established; and one or two online retailers or other sources for the product be cited. Brevity is golden. Rambling and "charming" prose is suspect and often accompanies lack of the basic information. jiminks does the most quality reviews for Forums and usually keeps it to a tight paragraph or two, but with full detail. The member who does newbie reviews also does good work. And others ... those two come to mind.

 

mso489

Lifer
Feb 21, 2013
41,210
60,459
A play-by-play of the experience, opening the tin and the flavors unfolding etc., should be brief and only come after all of the objective specifications of the blend. Too much of this is a dubious effort since people experience flavors quite differently. When it is given without the specs on the blend, it's just infuriating.

 
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