What’s up With Florida?...

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erichbaumer

Preferred Member
Dec 4, 2012
739
0
Illinois
Another fun google game is to search "Florida man" and read all the headlines. It's something my music fraternity does on a regular basis to harrass one of our FL-hailing members, whose nickname is above in quotes.

In response to the OP, it's all you can expect from the great political blunder state.

 

brian64

Preferred Member
Jan 31, 2011
5,254
180
Another fun google game is to search "Florida man" and read all the headlines.
The latest Psycho Floridian story:
Florida Man nicknamed Pork Chop tries to bury boss with front-end loader, cops say
http://www.miamiherald.com/news/nation-world/national/article81540267.html
 

jerwynn

Preferred Member
Dec 7, 2011
1,035
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What is "Florida"? I just saw some sat-maps and geo-survey images... whole place should be under water in 20 years max, maybe sooner. Heh heh...

 

mayfair70

Preferred Member
Sep 14, 2015
1,968
0
Nice... Yeah, when Florida goes, they all move north, of course.
Mental note; "Avoid people nicknamed Pork Chop"
Addendum - Add names Skeeter, Chip, Chad, Aloysius and Bert. For no reason.

 

brian64

Preferred Member
Jan 31, 2011
5,254
180
Had to resurrect this thread for the below updates.
The article contains links for all of them:
30 Extremely Bizarre "Florida Man" Stories That Prove That America's In Far More Trouble Than We Thought
#1 Florida man steals $33,000 in rare coins, uses them in change machines

#2 Florida Man Arrested for Allegedly Throwing Live Alligator Into Wendy’s Drive-Thru Window

#3 Florida man, drunk and naked, allegedly set house on fire in failed cookie baking attempt

#4 Florida man finds World War II grenade, tosses it in the trunk, brings it to a Taco Bell

#5 Florida Man Shattered Toilet After Firing Gun Indoors, Missing Roommate—’Hell Yes, That Could Have Hurt Me’

#6 Drunk Florida man arrested at Olive Garden after eating handfuls of pasta

#7 Florida man arrested for shoplifting after job interview at Kohl’s

#8 Monkey in diaper found clinging to Florida man in stolen car, police say

#9 Florida man dies in meth-lab explosion after lighting farts on fire

#10 Puppy shoots Florida man, deputies say

#11 Florida man caught on video licking doorbell

#12 Florida man arrested for speeding told deputies, ‘the car is a Ferrari and it goes fast’

#13 Florida man gets out of jail, back in 15 minutes later

#14 Florida Man Threatens To Destroy Everyone With Army Of Turtles, Police Say

#15 Florida man arrested in golf cart with 5 bottles of Fireball

#16 This Florida man stole laxatives — because he thought they were opioids, police say

#17 Florida man spent weeks in jail for heroin that was actually detergent

#18 Police: Florida man angry over cost of cigarettes hits clerk with beer bottle

#19 A Florida Man let it all hang out at a strip club, dancer says. He wasn’t part of the act

#20 Florida man wanted a woman’s egg rolls so badly it landed him in jail, police say

#21 Thong-wearing Florida man arrested while building shed with garbage on stranger’s property

#22 Florida man caught abusing young alligator, putting cigarette in its mouth

#23 Florida man arrested after traffic crash found with ‘fake urine,’ says it’s for ‘role play’ with spouse

#24 Florida man finds iguana in toilet, calls 911

#25 Florida man tried to bring replica grenade launcher on plane, TSA says

#26 Florida man uses fake ID, steals $41K in dental implants, $10K for French bulldog

#27 Florida man denies syringes found in rectum are his

#28 Florida man threatens to kill man ‘with kindness,’ uses machete named ‘Kindness’

#29 Naked Florida man revealed on video sneaking into restaurant and munching on ramen

#30 Florida man escapes alligator by punching it in the face while searching for golf balls
https://www.zerohedge.com/news/2019-04-19/30-extremely-bizarre-florida-man-stories-prove-americas-far-more-trouble-we-thought
 

winton

Preferred Member
Oct 20, 2010
2,105
14
#25 Florida man tried to bring replica grenade launcher on plane, TSA says
My uncle is from TX. He had a business selling a product that removed rust. He had several metal items that were half rusty and half clean. He often took them on flights as he traveled on business. Only once did a TSA agent ask why he had a grenade in his carryon. I think he left that item at home afterwards. Things were certainly different 30 years ago.
He was a WWII vet, so knew all about grenades.

 

mso489

Preferred Member
Feb 21, 2013
26,271
489
Florida's economy has long depended heavily on real estate selling residences and summer homes to people who are not like the longterm residents. The natives enjoy the revenue stream but don't always like the new neighbors. This causes tensions. The state could have claimed a lot of coastal land as state parks, but there's not a small percent of the profit in that compared to real estate development. Another large economic boon is tourism, but guess who shows up.

 

olkofri

Preferred Member
Sep 9, 2017
2,335
194
#30 Florida man escapes alligator by punching it in the face while searching for golf balls
And why wasn't he charged with abuse like man #22???

 

cosmicfolklore

Preferred Member
Aug 9, 2013
18,164
542
Recently a friend posted elsewhere that the reason for all of the "Florida man" memes and posts was because of the way Florida tagged all of its arrests in compliance with Freedom of Information Act. The way it is listed automatically turns every arrest into a headline for the local papers. It's not that Florida really has any more crazy people or arrests than anywhere else, they just all end up as headlines, so that if your google "Florida Man" there will always be a recent arrest show up in a twitter feed format.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Florida_Man
Apparently Wisconsin has a lot of naked people in WalMarts, or so it looks, since that is tracked in a Twitter feed also.

 

brian64

Preferred Member
Jan 31, 2011
5,254
180
^ That may at least account for some it Cosmic...but who can forget the case of the Face-Eating Floridian Zombie?
I can't help but wonder if any other state could match that.
Miami Police Shoot, Kill Man Eating Another Man’s Face
https://miami.cbslocal.com/2012/05/26/miami-police-confrontation-men-leaves-1-dead-1-hurt/
 

aldecaker

Preferred Member
Feb 13, 2015
4,412
3
"#10 Puppy shoots Florida man, deputies say"
Well, looks like the puppy took care of business while all the dumbshit humans were dithering about how to handle Florida Man.

 

mso489

Preferred Member
Feb 21, 2013
26,271
489
Won't go into a long narrative, but used to get calls at work from what will be an unnamed city in Florida. They'd pretend interest in our scientific research, like they were doing a documentary, but then suddenly they would imply that we would pay the bill for the production. When I'd gently but firmly announce that we weren't going to budget that, they'd try to get me to say something inflammatory about private business, so they could leverage that with their Congress person. It was really shabby and sleazy. I would sing a hymn of praise to free enterprise, quickly, and then repeat that we weren't going to fund their project. It was a total shady scam. I was sorry the sunshine state had to be home to that. I know there are various similar businesses in that city, alas. Oh, and the narrator/moderator for their vanity film was a particular has-been show business person who had sunk to that sad level. Moan.

 

mso489

Preferred Member
Feb 21, 2013
26,271
489
Of course no names. As Charles Dickens said of lawyers, they keep trouble so trouble will keep them. (Bleak House)

 

troutface

Preferred Member
Oct 26, 2012
1,388
3
Carl Hiaasen needs to get his material somewhere and he doesn't have to go far. :rofl: