Of Generosity and Handouts

[shaintiques]

Thanks guys, I'm not trying to be a jerk, and really don't want the guy that asked to feel bad or unwelcome on the forum, yet asking for a handout is bad form, especially since you don't know me. If Bradley or Irish or any number of guys asked me for a sample of something I would gladly send it, but I know you guys, you have helped me, been generous, etc. This post is a shout out to the new guys to get involved with the community, get to know guys, and even do some trades, if you don't have anything to trade post a want list at the very least, and then see who steps up. This is the best group on earth, and our relationships often expand beyond the pipe, so take some time, learn, get to know the guys and you will be blessed, I have!

 

[bigvan]

"...if you don't have anything to trade post a want list at the very least, and then see who steps up.
I gotta disagree with you on this Shain. To me, this is still a situation where a new guy is begging for handouts. Tobacco really isn't that expensive, guys. Be a man and pay your own way.

 

[ejames]

Hear,hear !!
BTW-where have you been lately?? Haven't seen ya around !

 

[shaintiques]

I've been training for a 40 mile hike on the Appalachian trail, haven't been posting as much. Also working on some pipes. I will post pics of the hike, especially the pipe smoking that occurs, late February.

 

[weezell]

get to know the guys and you will be blessed, I have!

shaintiques...YES,well put,the weez :wink:

 

[frennchy11]

I had a similar experience but I was unable to give the member any. After I declined I haven't heard from the person since. I hope that in the future I will be able to pay it forward but asking for free tobacco from a member is rude IMHO.

 

[guitarguy86]

You hit the nail on the head shaintiques.

 

[redbeard]

Do not feel like a jerk! That is the type of thing that hits you deep in your gut and you have to say something. I can't say I wouldn't of done something like that once I am able to contribute more and someone tried to take advantage of me.

 

[juvat270]

I mentioned this same topic in the "Pet Peeves" thread a few months back so I obviously agree with you 100%. At the time there were some (one in particular especially) that didn't seem to have any qualms with making threads asking for free stuff or sending me PMs as well asking the same. I don't know why, but at the time it just rubbed me the wrong way. Still does. Shaintiques however hit the nail on the head!

 

[auspipe]

I agree. I simply enjoy this forum as a place to converse with like minded people and have never had any handouts. My love for this hobby has been strengthened through the discussions on here more than anything.

 

[matchstickman]

I look at the whole thing this way, and pardon my language on this, but karma is a real bitch. If you wrong another person or do something that could be considered unprofessional or tacky, it has a way of coming back to bite you. That being said, I have gifted a few different members on this forum a few different things, be they pipes or tobacco samples or anything else. I have also had offers from people who want to send me tobacco, and I almost never turn them down. I have given, and other people want to give, which I think is karma at work. I feel that if someone takes the initiative just to try and get a hand out, karma will come back and bite them. Just my two cents on the whole matter.

 

[mp31guitar]

I had the same thing happen to me Shaintiques. My thought was, the nerve of someone that doesn't even know me. There are a lot of generous people here and there's always someone out there willing to take advantage at the least opportunity.

 

[cigrmaster]

Since this subject has been brought up, I will mention something that happened to me a couple of weeks ago. I was contacted by a member who has been here for over a year and has made 3 posts in that time. There was a discussion going on about SG St James Flake and I mentioned I had just bought 5 pounds. This member contacts me and asks me for my source. Now we all know that the sponsors here get sold out of this blend real quickly( except cup of joes who charges 90.00 plus a pound) so he assumed that I had a special source. He was correct of course but that source took me hours to find calling every little mom and pop in the low tax states. As some of you know I have no problem sharing my source with friends here or even active members who I see on the site all the time. But this member is not active and I have never had any conversation with him. So I politely declined to tell him and did explain how I found this source. He answered with this " Sorry about that, I didn't realize it was a secret or anything." I found it to be rather snippy, but that could just be me and I was glad I did not share it with him.
The point of all this is that unless you know someone for a while or have pm conversations with them, it is impolite to ask for peoples sources. Some of us work very hard acquiring the hard to find blends and to just assume that the source should be shared with a stranger is not correct.

 

[flmason]

I agree with Harris. It is always nice to share with others once they are known to be worthy of information.

 

[sparroa]

On that general note, I think that members should have a forum presence before they start private messaging people about information or favours of any kind.
There is no better way to get off on the wrong foot and earn yourself a frosty reception than to come off like a fly-by-nighter. After all, one has no way of knowing who you are or where your intentions lie - it doesn't matter if you read the forums religiously every day for three years, the person on the other end of the wire just can't know that. Speak up and get your name out there and people will at least have a passing familiarity with your handle or avatar - it will improve relations considerably.

 

[baronsamedi]

I have people wanting to be on the box pass who I've never seen before and have made 1 or 2 posts and tellme they read the rules yet want to be on the list anyway. I'm sitting here thinking, OK so you read the rules. You know people wait 4 months to get on the list and then may wait a year to actually get the box and then you decide you don't want to take the time, socialize with the other members and accumulate the rather small number of necessary posts and I'm supposed to just go what the hell and push you to the front? And you are...? I made an exception for Irish, but OK When you go to war and get your limbs blown off for our country, maybe this former Army guy will be a little inclined to bend the rules for you. Otherwise Have a cup of STFU and wait like everyone else.
I don't know if it's an age thing or an internet thing, but where I come from you have to take the time and build a repoire with people to be accepted as OK by any group. Acting like that toward some groups I've associated with can result in an educational beat down! Of course, we aren't going to beat anyone up, but I will be pretty terse if I have to.
/RANT

 

[freakiefrog]

I was raised to be gracious when people give you something. But I was also raised not to be rude and ask for things in that manner..So I'd have to agree with the things said here that if you've got the stones to ask and they have the heart to agree then be adult enough to cowboy up and at least get on with your side of things ASAP and for the love of God don't back out. You've prayed on someones good graces you better have the resources to up hold your end of things..Sorry for the rant Rainy day here so I'm on edge.. And out of Frog Morton :evil:

 

[mustanggt]

It seems there are people who act like seagulls and swoop in for some frenchfries and then move on. Their mommy and daddy must not have learned them right. I would never presume to ask someone for a handout. It goes against my nature. I was raised to be self sufficient and not have to depend on other people. If I absolutely can't do it after trying nine ways to Sunday then I'll reluctanly ask for help. Too many people want to do nothing and expect others to do the heavy lifting. Well to hell with those kind of lower than worm dung people.

 

[joshwolftree]

@ shane

1 Nail on the head post, but then I suppose some people just weren't brought up with manners.

2 and more importantly, I live in WV right off the Appalachian trail so if you need a resupply while your down that way I'll fill your pouch and we'll have a swig or several of meade

 

[rondyr]

Gives me all da free sh*t!
:P