Start with matches for the charing light and relights when the bowl is more than half full and I can get it to light with the match held above the bowl. After that it's a Zippo pipe lighter. It seems faster and safer for the rim of the bowl to suck down the flame from the Zippo pipe lighter rather than trying to get a burning match to work when the bowl is low, especially if it's a deep bowl. I probably have a bad match technique.
I like matches for their softer flame, their tradition, their sound and look, and the ritual involved. I have a couple of lighters, but I haven't used them enough to become adept; I'd hate to burn up my brims learning to use them, but I like matches too well anyway.
Hmmm...I always assumed that wood burns hotter than lighter fluid (don't know about Butane). I assumed that a wooden match is more likely to burn the rim, as the flame gets wider as the match burns, whereas the Zippo pipe lighter has a relatively narrow flame that is easy to center over the bowl and away from the rim. I like matches when the pipe is full enough to hold the match about 1/2" above the bowl, but when relighting a low bowl the match gets too close to the rim. I probably don't have the correct technique, though, as I know that you and many other people feel lighters are more likely to char a rim.
I used only matches for a year, nothing else. Then I started smoking while driving, so I had to switch to Bic. And you can totally feel the difference between the matches and the lighters after using only matches for a year. Soft flame lighters have more combustion temperature than matches for sure and they alter the taste. I use matches 90% of the time.