internet auction translator

[owen]

Sorry if it has been done but I need to vent.

I dont know much about pipes = I can see this pipe is crap but I am not telling.

From a collection I recently had the chance to look at = Seen in a cardboard box somewhere by chance.

Sorry about the photos= Do not buy this pipe.

Needs a clean= Jammed solid with gunk.

DUNHILL = Parker , hardcastle, etc.
Not to mention all the outlandish claims about the pipes history cut and pasted from elsewhere.

 

[huntertrw]

As with everything on the Internet, caveat emptor!

 

[agnosticpipe]

My favorite is instead of any real written description, the statement "the pictures are part of my description", with 3 pics that are dark blurry photos of the same side of the pipe.
Either hiding something, or too lazy to give any written info or decent pics. Could be a gem, or could be a dog... :crazy:

 

[zekest]

"I no pipe guy but professional smoker said this minty pipe very rare!"

 

[brudnod]

Sometimes the "secret code" is not even enough to get a reasonable description of the pipe. About a year ago i bid on a rather nice looking pipe which had a rubber bit cover on it. I asked the seller if the pipe under the bit piece OK and he said that "the pipe is very nice" which I stupidly thought meant the bit was fine. WRONG! When the rubber was removed the bit was completely cracked and useless. The seller was "reluctant" to take the pipe back but I sent it back anyway and wrote the worst review that I have ever written. As Hunter says, caveat emptor...

 

[mso489]

Wonder what the percent of satisfaction is on ebay pipe purchases. I know people get

fabulous bargains and are enthusiastic, but often those are the ones who talk most about

their experiences. Some people complain, but I suspect a large number suffer in silence

and only want to forget the humiliation. With a known retailer, they have a customer base

to satisfy, and many do an excellent job.

 

[sablebrush52]

I've been pretty lucky with eBay overall. But I also have a number of rules that I follow, the most central of which is: do your research.
eBay has vastly improved its treatment of buyers over the past few years. Not that it's perfect, but it's much better. There may be, as mso says, a lot of people suffering in silence, but there is far less reason, other than ego, for that to be the case.
Sellers write all sorts of crap. So do mainstream ad firms. Advertising is about persuasion, not "truth", even with regulation in place to ban outright deception.
I've seen my article quoted dozens of times, and also misquoted more than a few times. There's one Italian seller, sometimes mentioned positively in this forum, who actually rewrote my words for one of his auctions so that it appeared that I was stating something that I never wrote and don't know to be true.
caveat emptor

 

[peteguy]

Minty = We have altered the photo with photoshop.

 

[woodsroad]

"My father bought this pipe in 1954" = Dad will probably never get out of jail, so we're selling all of his shit that's been moldering down in the basement.
"It's unusual to find in this condition" = Not everyone has a Rottweiler who loves chewing on pipes.
"Can't find it in the Dunhill catalog" = I got ripped off buying this piece of crap in Hong Kong.
"You'll get many hours of happiness from this pipe" = ...if cleaning a decrepit, dog-rocket of a pipe makes you happy

 

[fishfly]

My satisfaction rate is about 88%. That's about 15 successful purchases out of 17. But both failures were my fault. I didn't do sufficient research on the meaning of "Brylon" and I missed a crack in one the photos. Nine of those pipes are among my favorites. The others taught me I didn't like deep bowls, I didn't like full bents, and I don't like most straight pipes. I'm in the very shallow end of the pool, however (all were under $20 and my mistakes under $10). I suspect the deep end is much more dangerous. I rely on the pictures, not the description. And, at least here in the kiddie pool, there will always be another, just like the one you're so eager for.

 

[tuold]

woodsroad wrote:

"You'll get many hours of happiness from this pipe" = ...if cleaning a decrepit, dog-rocket of a pipe makes you happy

I did laugh out loud when I read that one because it pretty much describes me. I'm the equivalent of the guy out on the beach with the metal detector who is ecstatic over finding a quarter in the sand.
Ha ha! I'm still laughing as type this!
Ahhhhhh..."dog-rocket of a pipe" :rofl:

 

[lifeon2]

I'm the guy that bids on the box of nasty looking pipes just to see what in it