If I Were Trump...

[deathmetal]

I'm not sure that abundant riches would go to a more expensive pipe smoking life.

Me either. I might go a bit nuts hoarding some tobacco at first, but I still won't pay over market prices for Esoterica blends.

A friendly tip, if you have a lot of money, buy land that can be farmed. Lease it out to a local farmer, don't get greedy and develop it. Let your children inherit it.

This was the system under feudalism through late Edwardian times. Seemed to work pretty well.

No-one really owns their own home. I have no mortgage, purchased my house with cash.

I think this was the point AF was making. All that matters now are investments, but all of this stuff is transient because it is dependent upon the stability of a political, economic and cultural (?) order.
And Rome trembles from below...

 

[Chasing Embers]

I'd dump most of it on Syria, and tell them to start producing latakia again. ::

 

[newfie]

Because of the fact I live in what can be considered the tobacco arsehole of the world, I would open a tobacco shop specializing in fine tobaccos, good pipes and accessories along with Nicaraguan and Cuban cigars. (Nothing cigarette related)
Profit would not be an issue, it would be more of a public service.

 

[lordofthepiperings]

If I were Trump I'd finally get around to shaving my head. That horrible comb over was bad when he started doing it 30yrs ago.

 

[mso489]

If I were Trump, well, you know, people love me so much, the artisanal pipe carvers would just send me their very best pipes encrusted with jewels for free, for nothing ... because they love me so much. And the best pipe carvers of the past, who are gone now ... their families and other collectors would just send me the rarest pipes, just because they know I'm so rich and so talented, and they'd just want me to have those. That's how everybody feels about me. I'm terrific, and so rich. And tobacco, I own big tobacco companies so I'd just have my people pull up a truck and take what I want, a big eighteen wheeler, and it wouldn't cost me a thing. I'm wonderful, they know I'm wonderful. You can see that.

 

[rhoadsie]

:rofl: That was perfect mso489! I can totally picture Trump saying that.

 

[deathmetal]

Repeal tobacco taxes.
That's about the only thing I can say without getting political, and that's unwise in polite company.

 

[cosmicfolklore]

No more pipecleaners! I would just drive around with a pile of brand new Dunhills in their boxes on my servant's lap. Have her load one up for me to smoke it, and then just toss it out the window when done. It would also solve problems with that nasty cake building up in my pipes. Mmmmmm, every pipe full, a fresh pipe.

 

[johnnyreb]

I don't know how much he is worth, and this could drain the coffers in a hurry but I would enter the race against Robert Bigelow & Richard Branson to privatize outer space. One of the original founders of Microsoft (Robert Allen?) is working towards that goal also. The gov't would cooperate fully & probably give you anything you want. The potential to make billions in the not to distant future is certainly there and it would be exciting to compete.

 

[elbert]

Elon Musk (paypal) runs SpaceX. And I don't know about the Government giving them whatever they need. Between the stupidly short-sighted Helium sell-off and the lack of concern over the Chinese monopoly on rare-earth elements, it doesn't seem like our leaders are bothering themselves over our technological future.

 

[johnnyreb]

The gov't is already cooperating with Bigelow & Branson. NASA & other gov't scientists are already on loan to Bigelow Aerospace. The next space shuttle will be private and the gov't will just pay to ride along with their payloads. They don't have the money to do otherwise, & they want everything to be privatized to protect information from release thru FOIA.

 

[redpanda]

" I would just drive around with a pile of brand new Dunhills in their boxes on my servant's lap. Have her load one up for me to smoke it, and then just toss it out the window when done"
That would be nice, a real pipe extravaganza. :D

 

[jpmcwjr]

Now you're making the ghost of John Paul Getty very angry. He wouldn't have thrown a basket pipe out the window, and not because littering is against the law in civilized parts of the world, but because his frugality was legendary. I now start to wonder if any billionaire is wantonly wasteful. Anyone know?
My line would be I drop a Dunny on the concrete and have my butler send it off to one of the fine pipe restorers here, no sweat. This would be after one of the maids ran to pick it up and the others were cooing around asking how they could make me feel better- massage, drink, new pipe? Twenty year old Penzance, Sir, or some Westminster?