Favorite line from a tobacco review

[misterlowercase]

"Part of my obsession with this particular tobacco is that it's elusive: just when I think I've figured it out it shimmers to reveal some new facet -- it's veritably a cubist flavor. I didn't know tobacco could be like this: biteless, subtle, darkly sweet (like sulphur molasses), complex, full, spicy, lush, mysterious and even romantic, like a Berg string quartet. This blend for me enters the realm of high art. " - Sinister Topiary

 

[misterlowercase]

"Solid, seductive nicotine delivery. " - Albert

 

[peckinpahhombre]

Mine:
Eulenberg, Pipeworks & Wilke # 13:

It was old Herr Jäger, former aide-de-camp to prince Cajetan de Bourbon-Parma, Austro-Hungarian anecdotist extraordinaire, passionate dog-lover, habitué of the Austin Book Shop at Kew Gardens, NYC, that first introduced me to this tobacco, so many, many years ago. Seeing me smoke some anodyne popular blend out of a paper pouch, he suggested I try his: Wilke No 13.
I was still a teen and I had never encountered Latakia before. I had no idea that a pipe tobacco could taste so...magically good! I was suddenly transported to the Manègeplatz at Schloss Schönbrunn, a young guardsman smoking his pipe next to his Carinthian charger, waiting for the Old Kaiser to go out for the Corpus Christi procession. Felix Austria!
Latakia is the tobacco of day-dreams.
Looking like Fred Astaire going to his First Communion, I hot-tailed it to Wilke's Smoke Shop, a small, dapper tobaccy temple in Madison Ave near 47 Street??RIP!??and encountered, for the first time, BULK tobaccos measured out on old brass scales, Wilsonian-era vitrines laden with imported briars, and the most unforgettably delicious smell I have ever smelt: tobacco, oak floor, carnauba wax...
Wilke No 13 is an old American-type English blend, with a bit of Burley to buffer it and a smidgeon of scented cavendish to frou-frou out the Syro-Macedonian stench. It is remarkably pleasant, though slightly generic to my jaded palate, after all these years. I can't taste the Périque at all.
New York and Boston gentry smoked blends like these in the 20's, and the high-quality tobaccos used in these compositions are a far cry from the general-store Lumpen that most men smoked back then. Before the avalanche of tinned blends reached us from Northern Europe, this was a good smoke. I thoroughly enjoyed the trip in nostalgia, and I certaily wish Wilke's was still there in Mad Ave, en lieu of the Yuppitorium that has taken its place. You might prefer to spend your money in Lake-District foofaraw. But for me, nothing can take away the memories.

 

[huntertrw]

By thedstinguishdgntlmn on tobaccoreviews.com regarding Rattray's Jocks Mixture, "I think they made this "Mixture" in his "Jock". Another bomb from Kohlhase & Kopp!"
Whereas he was apparently not impressed, I like this mixture!

 

[mrjerke]

Pipestud regarding Borkum Riff Cherry Cavendish...

"This blend is totally and absolutely not fit for consumption."

Well said sir.

 

[cortezattic]

From BriarChef's 2008 review of Five Brothers:

• Looking for that "drugstore" blend? A blast from the past? A bit of nostalgia? Need an ass kicking?
  
  These boys will open a six pack of whoop ass like you haven't experienced in a good long while. Made up the road in Loovul, KY.
  I remember the old geezers smoking this stuff when it came in a paper pouch. Just the smell put me on one knee. When I first smoked it, it put me on both knees. They had to rock my head back and forth to get my lips unstuck from the bathroom tiles. Crikey!
  This is some serious stuff, especially if you're a twelve year old boy.
  Forty years later and it still hasn't learned any manners. How you can tell if it's fresh or not escapes me.
  "Mind if I smoke?"
  "Not at all. Mind if I puke?"
  Made when men were men, and sheep were terrified.

 

[misterlowercase]

:laughat:

"Made when men were men, and sheep were terrified."

 

[misterlowercase]

"In a sort of Jean-Paul Sartre-type moment, I acquired some of this in Paris, in one of those strange paper cubes. Hmmm. If you like French cigarettes, you'll probably like this, because (to my palate at least) it tastes exactly the same: strong, pungent and (as my old dad used to say) rough as a badger's arse. It's nothing like what, in the UK, most people think of as pipe tobacco. " - DrDyson

 

[misterlowercase]

" I am under the impression that McConnell's flake is a 100 years old mixture that traveled through time to end up in my pipe.

A true taste of the past." - The Punisher

 

[misterlowercase]

"The dense (we're talking neutron star) plug comes in an adorable, whimsical foil package about the size of a mini Milky Way bar. The fat, smiling bloke on the cover may lead one to believe that it is a less than serious blend that should be relegated to the closet, next to the tin of Daddy's Favorite Baccy, but it's the real thing. When sipped as slowly as an ancient port, the plug reveals considerable nuance, and all manner of subtleties abound." -LoisKelly

 

[misterlowercase]

"Proustian? How about, "Tobaccoian?"

This little tour-de-force of our limbic system deserves no less an honor, in my mind. Forget swans and keeping scientists entertained, it has been one of the pistons in the engine of pipe tobacco marketing for the last quarter century..." - George Dibos

 

[derfargin]

My fav review thus far is from a user called "beaupipe" for C&D's - Star of the East Flake
The bolded paragraph kills me. LOL

C&D's Star of the East Flake strikes me as curiously neglected and under-rated here, especially given its similarities to one of the best loved tobaccos on this site--the venerable and venerated Penzance. They're both Latakia-heavy crumble cakes with marked Virginia sweetness. They're both easy to pack, light, and burn. And they're both delicious.
There are differences, of course. In the tin, Star of the East Flake is both sharper and dirtier than Penzance. Familiar notes of leather and Montreal smoked meat are mixed with an almost sour, bright note and a kind of sweaty, fecal, Bikram yoga-bum smell, which I personally find enormously appealing. Devotees of things like Munster, Epoisses, mature wine, properly aged duck confit, Andouillettes, smell-my-finger-games, and unsanitary bedroom practices from the rear pages of the Kama Sutra should find this immensely satisfying, perhaps even erotic.
Some tobaccos are appealing for their rustic qualities, for their lack of refinement. And this is one of 'em. I would hesitate to say that this is a better tobacco than something like Penzance, but I do think it's far more interesting. Highly recommended to all who like an unsavory quality in the things they savor.

 

[deathmetal]

That's wonderfully over-the-top. I had similar thoughts about 1792 flake, which someone (politely) noted had a wide bouquet of smells including fresh manure.

 

[theredstrat]

New York and Boston gentry smoked blends like these in the 20's, and the high-quality tobaccos used in these compositions are a far cry from the general-store Lumpen that most men smoked back then. Before the avalanche of tinned blends reached us from Northern Europe, this was a good smoke. I thoroughly enjoyed the trip in nostalgia, and I certaily wish Wilke's was still there in Mad Ave, en lieu of the Yuppitorium that has taken its place. You might prefer to spend your money in Lake-District foofaraw. But for me, nothing can take away the memories.

This was a beautifully written review in total but I believe "yuppitorium" just became my new favorite word.

 

[deathmetal]

A great word that needs more common use.
The Mixture 79 page is a goldmine:

just awful, like smoking a senior center or your grandma's perfume cabinet. - ark

If you were ever curious enough to wonder what it would be like to smoke a urinal cake, here you go. - zulujerk

What one needs to know up front is that this blend tastes like lightly caramelized dryer sheets. - Sky

 

[jpmcwjr]

We have a group of very upscale shops on College Ave in Oakland.... I dubbed it "Yuppie Haven". Could be the name of a new blend!

 

[jkrug]

There are differences, of course. In the tin, Star of the East Flake is both sharper and dirtier than Penzance. Familiar notes of leather and Montreal smoked meat are mixed with an almost sour, bright note and a kind of sweaty, fecal, Bikram yoga-bum smell, which I personally find enormously appealing. Devotees of things like Munster, Epoisses, mature wine, properly aged duck confit, Andouillettes, smell-my-finger-games, and unsanitary bedroom practices from the rear pages of the Kama Sutra should find this immensely satisfying, perhaps even erotic.

This truly had me laughing out loud while reading it,in fact I read it over several times it was so funny...good thing I'm home alone right now!! Best ever. :clap:

 

[uncleblackie]

Haddo's Delight:
CaptnDan- "This tobacco will beat you like you owe it money if you do not smoke it well and if you inhale it. The nicotine wallop is as quick as lighting and as noticeable as a brick to the skull."
Scottgun - "Should be called Haddo's Nicotine Punch in the Face. I enjoyed smoking it, but I can't finish a bowl before the room is spinning. While I'm not a tough guy when it comes to nicotice, I'm not a wimp either, and what makes this blend so insidious is that it sneaks up on you. One minute I'm enjoying (in all fairness) a tasty smoke, the next I'm lying on a bed for two hours sweating in a 65-degree house. You have been warned."

 

[edgreen]

Wish I would have read the Haddo's reviews before I tried smoking it. It would have saved me a lot of spinning.

 

[deathmetal]

One minute I'm enjoying (in all fairness) a tasty smoke, the next I'm lying on a bed for two hours sweating in a 65-degree house.

This sounds like an ideal tobacco experience to me...