Disinterested wife?

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willisk

Member
Aug 27, 2018
105
0
Does anyone else experience this female phenomenon? If your wife does not share your interest

Or hobby it is something she gets annoyed with if you talk about it? My wife seems this way with everything

From Guns, Fishing, and Cars!! Any of the mentioned hobbies can easily provoke attitude or eye rolls if I try to talk about them

With her!! Which is fine and easy to avoid until I buy new pipes or tobacco or other supplies for mentioned hobbies!

Then it’s why didn’t you discuss this with me ( anything over $100 rule )!! She is the best wife and we have

Lots of shared interests so for that I’m thankful. Just curios if anyone else has experienced this or if y’all have similar rules or

Agreements on what dollar amount merits permission/heads up ! And if so how to you give heads up

Without getting eye rolls lol!!

 

mikethompson

Preferred Member
Jun 26, 2016
4,064
173
My wife doesn't share my interest, so we don't really talk about it. It doesn't bother me, we have lots of other things to talk about.

 

chasingembers

Preferred Member
Nov 12, 2014
15,925
737
Mine has no input on my pipe and tobacco expenditures though she has bought me pipes and tobacco.

 

cosmicfolklore

Preferred Member
Aug 9, 2013
18,113
459
I own two guns that I use regularly, but yet if someone else wants to start talking guns to me, I roll my damn eyes too, and I will probably just get up and walk away. I have my two that I know inside and out, all other guns interest me about as much as listening to someone go on and on about different types of hammers or screwdrivers. I could care less. I own a cars and trucks, but if someone wants to start talking stats on their car or truck (or this or that about engines, etc..., my eyes will hit the floor and roll down the hallway. But, I can sit and talk pipes for hours.
I know lifelong elderly pipesmokers that will tell you to shut you damn mouth if you start talking pipes or tobaccos with them. They have their likes and dislikes and could care less about what you think. A friend and neighbor of mine, a textbook curmudgeon, will just turn and walk away from you while smoking his pipe, if you start talking tobaccos or pipe brands.
Just because I enjoy something doesn't mean that I am nutjob about it. I do have my nutty things that I enjoy discussing; pipes, lapidary, tractors, bicycles, farming. But, everything else, I may enjoy something, but just not as "into it." And, just because I like bicycles, doesn't mean that I want to hear about all bicycles. If you want to talk road bikes or carbon frames, then you'll lose my interest quickly.
Now, it has taken years for training to get my wife to enjoy me talking about some aspects of pipes and cigars. But, in turn I have had to listen to hours of her talking about beads, bead work, and crochet (never again will I call it knitting, ha ha). Relationships are give and take. If I want her to take an interest in what I am doing, I will have to do the same.
And money. I make my money and have my accounts. She hers. We divide the bills, and responsibilities. If I buys something it's none of her business as long as I get my share of the bills paid. And, if she comes home with a crate of beads or yarn, it's none of my business as long as she gets hers paid.

But, every relationship is different.

 

willisk

Member
Aug 27, 2018
105
0
Good point!! My wife is a smoker so I thought when I made the jump it wouldn’t be an issue

And it’s not really an issue i was just curious if anyone else got any attitude or eye rolls lol!!

 

bluto

Preferred Member
Aug 24, 2018
739
2
Oh , I just normally pay SWMBO a couple of nice complements and she then forgets whatever it was she wanted to bring up. ..

 

warren

Preferred Member
Sep 13, 2013
7,429
179
Why would you expect a person to engage in a conversation about a subject she has no interest in? Or worse, is averse to? I never talked felting or flower gardening with my wife. She didn't converse with me on certain subjects. Fly fishing being one, tractors another, and, of course, smoking (meat, not pipes, cigars or cigarettes). She smoke cigarettes and only voiced he dislike for heavy latakia in the house. I conceded on that one and she, in turn, quit trying to interest me in Sci-Fi movies. She and "The Daughter" loved their "Star Trek Wars" and such.

 

mso489

Preferred Member
Feb 21, 2013
26,237
435
Couples counseling is far from my area of expertise. I've had two wonderful wives -- remarried after I was a widower. You each need room to have some discretionary spending of your own, equal amounts, and that's about all I have to say. How you achieve that is between you two or with professional counseling. Both my wives had heavy cigarette habits in their mid-lives, and my wife is a non-smoker but buys me some of my finest pipes and blends, sometimes on her own intuition, which is perfect. Evoke the best magic you can; it's worth it. It sounds like you have a fine relationship, so just grow that. Some separate interests are a good thing, to give you some independent time, her too.

 

bluto

Preferred Member
Aug 24, 2018
739
2
Try to keep it under the radar , out of sight out of mind
I keep my pipes and tobacco in my garage and I don't smoke in the house , why poke the sleeping bear ..

 

willisk

Member
Aug 27, 2018
105
0
Well said mso!! We do have a good relationship and each have separate interests as well as joint hobbies and interests!! In seven years I’ve never slept in the couch lol.

I guess I didn’t do a very good job of asking the question based on some of the replies lol.

I have no interest in forcing her to engage in conversation about pipes or tobacco at the end of the day as long as I’m happy and enjoying myself that’s enough for me!!

and I fully hold the motto Happy Wife Happy Life!! So maybe sometimes I put to much stock on the motto lol

 

bluto

Preferred Member
Aug 24, 2018
739
2
Now, on to a few pointers about how to make them happy , after 30 years of happy nuptials , here is everything I know about women ..
.

 

willisk

Member
Aug 27, 2018
105
0
Yeah I know what you mean I learned that the hard way after two divorces!!

Now after 7 years of happiness I do know that it’s futile to try to understand a woman

Or there logic and it’s ok to be wrong!! I don’t have to win an argument to be right

As long as she thinks she is right and I know I’m right I’m good lol

 

hakchuma

Preferred Member
Jan 13, 2014
771
0
Don't talk to her. Just tell her to make you a sammich. After some time she'll be very interested.

 

madox07

Preferred Member
Dec 12, 2016
1,421
48
I think it's time you learned about the Commander's Fund :wink: Every commander has his own fund that is spent at his own discretion. Also, the commander fund is something that is kept very private, and you rarely if ever talk about it with your friends, and under no circumstances you are to mention of this to your wife. The commander regularly puts away some money, a stash if you will, with every discrete occasion that he stumbles over some extra cash or disposable and unnoticeable income. This will aid him in the hard days or the hard to resist situations of personal (all legal and moral of course) pleasure. Please be advised, the commander fund is not meant for large purchases, i.e. it's not a darn savings account - so if you think that you can buy the new Berreta over under shotgun without your wife not noticing, you have another thing coming. I don't say that I use such subversive methods, but if I did I would use the fund to pay for certain hunting permits, some tobacco that I "need" when I have spent the monthly budget, etc etc. No harm in that, since you end up paying for that permit or tin of tobacco anyway, but at least you save yourself the pain of being scolded or the rolling eye before hand.

 

sablebrush52

Preferred Member
Jun 15, 2013
9,712
363
My OAFW and I share a great many interests, and we have others that we don't share. This is healthy.
It's also useful. I'll explain. My OAFW used to breed and show maine coons. She can prattle on endlessly about breeds, bloodlines, their characteristics, markings, traits, etc, etc. It's an excellent soporific. I can prattle on endlessly about pipes, tobaccos, pipe history, blah, blah, blah.
So we've struck a deal whereby she doesn't launch into cat dissertations and I refrain from my pipe and tobacco BS as well as other personal topics that bore the other witless. It's like MAD. If one side breaks the treaty agreement the other side is free to launch an attack.

 

josephcross

Preferred Member
Dec 30, 2015
945
2
Commander fund...that’s great!!! :clap: I have a wife who doesn’t really question my purchases. Often shares a pipe or cigar, but otherwise has no interest in the hobby/habit other than that I enjoy it. She supports my passions as long as I turn a blind eye to the expensive shoes and jeans that show up in the mail. And when she asks me where did this pipe come from and how much did it cost I always reply it was 50$ on the estate page at smokingpipes..... :puffy: