Jasus wept, for a minute there I was thinking Kevin must've secretly eloped and said the fateful vows!!!
Damn it nsfi, if you weren't a married man, I swear I'd be booking the next available flight over there - do ya know how hard it is to find a "salt of the earth" man over here. Why? 'Coz they're the best kind and they're all taken
I have to say though, I'm entirely disappointed in you - you've left some integral things off the menu such as chocolate body paint, whipped cream, strawberries etc. so you can play "Rude Food" bedtime games.
Furthermore, I'd like to see and approve the "bedroom attire" you have purchased your wife for Valentine's Day. If it's not super classy & stylish (no harlety red nylon, nasty base-metal gold finish chain straps, animal print or the like will be allowed, we can't have her dressed up like a two bit trollop), you'll be marching it straight back to the store young fella
I am glad that you went with the original oreos. Recently I saw football shaped oreos (american football). While fun during a food day at work, they would not have provided the classy meal that you are trying to achieve.
UPDATE: I am very happy to say, the Wife appreciated her meal and many thanks go out to all of you for your ideas for the next time. I do believe she will let me survive another day. But I can't tell you yet about tomorrow because it is Top Secret you know.