Bummer of an Auction - Retort

[pruss]

Well it finally happened. I was burned in an online auction on flea-bay.
A month and change ago I ordered a BIN pipe retort from an ebay seller. I paid immediately via PayPal and within 24 hours I received notification that the package had shipped... Without a tracking #; probably my first warning. Now I'm in Canada and the retort was shipping up from the states, so I gave the vendor 15 business days for the package to arrive before I reached out with a "How'd you send this, and when should I expect to receive it?" email.
I never heard back from the vendor (second warning). After 4 weeks I sent a follow up email, with a sterner note and indication that I'd be opening a case with Flea-bay. Still no reply. 24hrs after the second email I went to open a case, and the vendor is no longer listed with the auction site. Bummer.
I'm out $10, but am mostly just frustrated that I don't have a retort, and that someone couldn't/wouldn't honestly communicate about whatever issues they were having.
Ah well, time to find a lab supply store locally and buy myself some test-tubes and rubber tubing. Anyone want/need a retort? If I'm buying equipment to make 'em, I might as well make a few.
Best,
-- Pat

 

[pruss]

*silver lining*
Within two minutes of posting this note, I had a PM offering me a retort for only the cost of shipping. WOW! Way to go pipemagazine.com/forums! What an awesome and outstanding community!
Seriously chuffed,
-- Pat

 

[ghost]

Another awesome story. This place can even give you hope on Mondays...

 

[kf4bsb]

Hey there guys,
I saw this post and thought I would put my $0.02 in. In use to be a high school science teacher and in those years amassed quite a few contacts in the labware industry. If anyone is looking for the glassware and/or tubing to make a retort, just let me know and I will see what I can come up with for you.
Also, if you decide to buy your own test tubes, I instead suggest you get a 25ml volumetric flask as opposed to test tube. Either will work, but I think the volumetric flask works better. Also, make sure whatever you use is made of Boro-silicate glass. That way you don't have to worry about a heat cracking the glass.
I have thought about making up a dozen or so and offering them here for cost plus shipping. If anyone is interested, just let me know.
Wes

 

[pruss]

Hey Wes,
Thanks for the note. Good call on the boro-silicate glass. What are the differences between a 25ml volumetric flask and a test tube? What are the inherent benefits of the flask?
Thanks in advance,
-- Pat

 

[buzkirk]

The flask would be shorter and easier to work with and has a greater surface area on the bottom for heat distribution. just a guess.
Tom

 

[kf4bsb]

Well, if you look at a true lab retort it has a bulbous end that is used as a reservoir, and a slender, often curved neck. This makes it more manageable, but there is another reason. The slender neck also helps with the ejection of the liquid from the bowl and into the line. As you heat the liquid the pressure increases forcing the hot liquid through the smaller diameter tube.
The problem with a test tube is, it is kind of like heating water in a pot with no lid on it. As the liquid heats, the pressure does not build up, at least not as high or fast, and the transfer is less than forceful. If you use a test tube, the pressure build up occurs at the restriction caused by the opening on the bit, after the transfer tube.
I feel, again no empirical proof, that the slender neck of the volumetric flask causes a buildup of pressure before the transfer tube which results in a more forceful injection into the pipe stem. I have done it both ways and just seem to get better results with the volumetric flask.
Both ways work and work well. I just prefer one to the other.

 

[kf4bsb]

BTW, if anyone is interested, I can get the 25ml borosilicate glass volumetric flask for about $9.20 each plus shipping. Throw in a little rubber tubing and maybe a tes tube holder and you have yourself a retort. If there are enough people interested, I will order up a case and send them out at cost plus shipping. Just let me know.

 

[pruss]

Thanks, kf4bsb, for the edification/education.
-- Pat

 

[kcghost]

Don't forget to file a claim with PayPal to get your money back. It's easy to do and it works.

 

[peckinpahhombre]

Kf - I would buy one and happily pay you not only for shipping but something for your efforts as well

 

[allan]

kf4bsb
Very generous offer, and I'd to take you up on it. Please let me know the amount and the info and I will mail you a check.
Thanks

Allan

 

[snewton]

Folks, may be a daft question, but what on earth is a retort?

 

[peckinpahhombre]

It is a way to clean a pipe with boiling alcohol that shoots through the pipe.

 

[kf4bsb]

allan and peckinpahhombre, I have you both marked down and will send you a PM. I am going to post "Does Anyone Need/Want a Retort" asking if anyone else would like to get in ono the deal. The more we have the lower the cost of shipping per piece so we all save money. As soon as I have a number I will let you know.
Wes

 

[pruss]

Not a daft question Stuart.
A pipe retort is, generally, made up of a test-tube or flask (that can take the heat of an open flame) and a series of stoppers and rubber tubing. The idea is to put alcohol (debates rage about isopropyl vs consumable) into the test-tube/flask, connect the test-tube/flask to the stem of your pipe (via the rubber tube) so that the tube creates a seal around the bit. In the bowl of the pipe you'd stuff cotton balls (like you would for a cotton ball and alcohol treatment). At this point, theoretically, you'd be ready to heat the test-tube/flask with the alcohol in it, which would eventually boil and be forced, under pressure, into your pipe through the stem, shank and into the bowl. At which point you'd remove it from the flame and allow the alcohol to condense and drain back into the test-tube/flask. Repeating the process a number of times to remove ugliness from your pipe.
How'd I do friends? Did I just sanitize my pipe, or blow myself up? I'm working on theory here.
Best,
-- Pat

 

[kf4bsb]

Right on the money! I find a retort is great for removing ghost of tobaccos past.

 

[pruss]

Right on the money! I find a retort is great for removing ghost of tobaccos past.

Thanks again kf4bsb. It's nice to know that I'm likely to not have a retort blow up in my hands. That being said, safety goggles, leather gloves and a heavy leather apron probably aren't a bad idea.
-- Pat

 

[yadan]

Another question about this (asked due to lack of experience with the process):
Since my purchases are almost exclusively metal-framed pipes, I can boil the frames directly in alcohol, which you fellows obviously cannot due with briar-shank pipes.

However, what would be lacking if you simply ran some pipe cleaners dipped in alcohol (or Everclear, which seems to be available only in the U.S.) down the stem? Why would that be less effective than a retort treatment?

 

[kf4bsb]

Yadan,

I agree that pipe cleaners dipped in alcohol work great and I use that method of cleaning as well. To be honest with you, I don't think a retort would be any more effective on a metal frame, maybe just a little faster as the heat and vapor may work to loosen the gunk up a little quicker than just scrubbing. I really don't have that much experience with metal frames.
With briar, however, it does seem to make a difference. I believe that the hot alcohol, along with the vapor under slight pressure, penetrate the briar dissolving the tars and gunk much better than just scrubbing can do. I believe you can get a lot of the tars out of a pipe by scrubbing, but a lot of the tars, dissolved by the alcohol, do not come to the surface of the briar and cannot be removed by the pipe cleaners. They simply soak back into the briar and are left there when the alcohol evaporates.
With a retort, the hot vapor and the alcohol dissolve the tars faster. Since they are heated, they penetrate the briar to a deeper level. But here is the important part, when you remove the retort from the heat source it creates a vacuum that that pulls all of the alcohol, along with all of the tars, back out of the pipe. I know it is not going to get them all, but I feel it removes more than scrubbing alone.
I think of it kind of like a steam cleaner for your carpet. If you drop something on your carpet you can put water on it and scrub it away. The stain is visibly gone, but in reality quite a lot of the stain has simply been soaked into the carpet and the padding to a deeper level that you just can’t see. Give it enough time and it will show back up. If you use a steam cleaner you are using hot water to loosen the stain and to scrub the particles loose, but instead of letting them soak back into the carpet the machine sucks the nasty water, along with all of the dirt and the stain back out of the carpet. The result is a much cleaner carpet and you don’t have to worry about the stain coming back.
Hope all that made sense.