If You Won’t Change Your Mind, Then We’ll Just Have To Change Your Mind For You
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Kevin Godbee - Aug 2, 2011
- 5 min read
By C. R. S. Lyles
I saw a commercial today promoting some new show on Nickelodeon called Victorious. I have no idea what the show is about, nor do I have any interest in it whatsoever (as I presume, probably correctly, that it is merely the network’s answer to "tween wave" drivel that the Disney channel continues to spew out), but the marketing focus of the commercial held me riveted.
The commercial preceded to promote the "hits" from the show, songs which included "Freak The Freak Out" and "My Best Friend’s Brother". And you know what the really sad part about this is?
Its most-watched episode had 6.1 million viewers.
Now, while I lament the loss of my childhood to this sort of trash as much as the next post-Generation Xer, it’s simple kindergarten deduction that leads to the inevitable conclusion that in a world where the Rugrats and Doug have been replaced by a sluttily-clad thirteen-year-old singing about her best friend’s brother, something has gone seriously awry.
Which finally brings me to my point: Washington is trying to become the first state to outlaw all forms of tobacco, Colorado is trying to become the first state to legalize marijuana for recreational use, and all across the country there are privately- and state-funded "cessation laboratories" popping up to "investigate the psychological processes that contribute to continued smoking despite the high personal and societal costs of tobacco use."
The phone is ringing for you, America.
It’s George Orwell, and he’s asking for his plot devices back.
Using a Google search that took me about forty-five seconds total, four major cessation centers caught my interest. Another minute and a half of searching turned up many more.
The four that popped out at me the most, however, were:
1.) USC Tobacco Education and Materials Lab (TEAM Lab)
2.) Rutgers University’s Smoking Cessation Laboratory
3.) The Prevention and Treatment in Clinical Health Center at UT, El Paso, and
4.) The UF Smoking Laboratory and Clinic.
Now, this is more-than just slightly creepy to me in many ways.
Any moderately-intelligent, half-asleep train spotter can tell that the state and federal government has been trying to curtail the American public’s behavior for years (since the beginning of this country, actually), but to attempt to coerce its own people to adhere to certain principles while masquerading as a free and independent country whose only intent with these centers is for mere medicinal research goes beyond trying to curtail behavior and oversteps the boundary between democracy and fascism.
Check this out and tell me you don’t hear echoes of World War II propaganda:
[kml_flashembed movie="http://www.youtube.com/v/SfAxUpeVhCg" width="480" height="360" allowfullscreen="true" fvars="fs=1" /]
Is it weird that I see "Best Dramatic Commercial" joining the list of awards that the Academy gives out each year? I think this one might have just enough emotional pull to beat out Sarah McLachlan’s BC SPCA commercial.
Anyway, the above commercial was sponsored by Quit Victoria, an Australian joint initiative of the Cancer Council Victoria, the Department of Health of Australia, the National Heart Foundation, and VicHealth.
It really is quite amazing what you can find with a minute and a half and decent WiFi signal.
Quit Victoria is obviously one of the larger state-sponsored anti-smoking initiatives, but the principle behind its motivations and the cessation centers that now reside in just about every state is the same.
As I’ve stated before, it’s all about control.
And in a down economy, in a continued state of war and social turmoil at home, control is the name of the game, for without it, (gasp) Americans might actually have to work for what they earn instead of depend on the government to continually bail them out. And should that awful thing happen? Why, Americans might just come to realize they never really needed their government as much as they thought they did.
Or that new 3D flatscreen that Sony just released.
Or that new Call of Duty game.
Or that new flatware set that’s on sale this weekend only down at Kohl’s.
You see, what I’ve come to realize in my time as a smoker is that there’s something behavioral about the people who choose to inhale tobacco or enjoy products which use tobacco.
We know what we’re doing when we take that first puff or taste that chunk of chaw for the first time.
We know the risks, we know the dangers, but we do it anyway.
Why?
Because it’s more than just the smoking itself that draws us to it; it’s the lifestyle.
For centuries, smoking was considered a casual and often social affair, but now that we have dedicated facilities to help us stop this behavior, we find it harder to be social or casual with our choice of leisure activity.
There’s an article that was published several years ago that outlined the social nature behind smoking (and actually was one of the articles that planted the idea in my head to become a journalist). Entitled "Learning To Smoke", it chronicled a writer named Tom Chiarella’s month-long goal to reach smoking a pack of cigarettes a day.
However, the point of the article is less about the smoking and more about the culture. And that’s what the real argument is between the anti-s and the smoker is.
We smokers are a cultural group. We fulfill every criterion that defines a cultural group, yet we find ourselves ostracized in a world that prides itself on political correctness and tolerance. If you think that this statement is a little extreme, go driving on a rainy day and see how many huddles of smokers are packed beneath the various offerings of shelter since no indoor facility allows smoking inside anymore.
But, then again, this is a world of cessation centers we live in, a world where old episodes of Doug aren’t even available on Netflix and the hit song this week is by a band named LMFAO.
How about we make a deal, America? You lift the ban on the indoor smoking thing and we’ll quietly take our pipes and cigars and packs of cigarettes inside so that our disgusting habit won’t bother you anymore, and in exchange you take your nanny-state garbage, your cessation centers, and lifeless, bland, uninspired "creations" back to the market researchers and ad artists who all had projections that said we would love them and just leave us the hell alone.
Carter R. Lyles is a student at the University of Central Florida in Orlando, FL and at the University of Florida in Gainesville. He is a journalism/psychology major, and in addition to his work at Pipes Magazine, he has contributed articles to The Alligator, Thursday Night Magazine, and The Fine Print. |
Written by Kevin Godbee
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When I first started with the pipe as a quirky and precocious teen, the only tutelage I had at my disposal were scenes from old movies in which a well dressed chap would stick his pipe into a pouch, scoop tobacco into the bowl and press it down unceremoniously with his thumb. Then, with great flourish, he’d strike a match and light the thing with all manner of cinematic excess, puffing up vast clouds of smoke falling just short of completely obscuring his visage. While it may look good on film, it’s a terrible approach to actually enjoying the thing. Somehow, though, this “technique” seems to have survived in the contemporary vernacular, at least to some extent, even with bit-loads of information handily at our fingertips that should dissuade us from the practice. But, at the time, this misguided approach was all I had; it’s no wonder my early days of puffing were fraught with difficult lighting, harsh, bitter smokes and tongue bite, all culminating in a fireproof mass of ye old soggy dottle in the bottom of the bowl. Ultimately, the resulting frustration made me give up the pipe, at least for a while. While the idea of it was still very appealing, the practice of it was not. It wasn’t until a few years later when, still full of curiosity and romantic notions of pipe smoking, I wandered into a real tobacconist’s shop, and learned my “method” was a long way from the techniques that would bring me to any sort of pipe smoking bliss. So, after my poor start, and under the guidance of someone who actually seemed to know how to do it right, I was given the opportunity to approach the process anew, this time with much greater success. It was only because I was both perseverent, and fortunate to have a local shop staffed with knowledgeable people, that I’ve been able to enjoy the experience ever since. At least mostly… How many fledgeling pipe smokers have simply given up on an enjoyable pastime because of similar early mis-starts? Fortunately, today, it’s not hard to find helpful guidance at the press of a key or ten. 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Before we begin, I should tell you: this tobacco review is being written by an A.I. Not the fancy new GPTs or their ilk; no, this is last century’s meat-and-bone, all-organic model. To be fair, a large part of what we call knowledge is merely the accumulated perceptions and impressions gathered from a life wandered through, synthesized into a spongy mass of what-it-is-that-we-think-that-we-know. The algorithm for this prompt is simple enough: pump thousands of bowls of smoldering plant matter into a gaping maw, cross-reference the chemical sensations with all other matter previously ingested or inhaled, sieve it all through the diffuse and fractal twin lens of memory and emotion, and churn out a panoply of adjectives that attempts to convey the sensations to someone who hasn’t experienced it yet. Odds are that a diligently trained monkey could succeed half the time; if this reviewer nears fifty-one percent then that would qualify as an unrivaled success. There must have been some similar musings perambulating through the mind of Per Jensen when he began his mad scientist routine at Sutliff with the Pipe Force project, which brings us to the current mixture under the microscope—Sutliff’s Pipe Force: Episode I. Here again are the unusual ingredients that engendered the series, with the stoved Rustica being the defining voice in this composition. From the tin: The Latakia-forward English mixture offers plenty of smoky flavor from the fire-cured leaf, which is artfully harmonized with floral, earthy Stoved Rustica. A mixture of high-grade Virginias imparts a natural sweetness. Katerini, the sole Oriental component, offers herb and spice notes bringing complexity and nuance to the flavor profile. It’s certainly Latakia-forward, with the stoved Rustica doubling up on the rhythm section like a second bassist. A first whiff from the tin releases the aromas of shoe leather and hide glue in a base of clay soil with a campfire wafted over it like last night’s beach party. Once it’s been accustomed to oxygen again, subtle hints of sweetness poke through from the Virginias: lemon rind, light milk chocolate, the dregs of a peaty Scotch, and muddled cherry. Old regulars like fresh-sawn oak and tilled earth are there, of course, with distinct notes of truffle, creosote, damp peat, and pine bark mulch. As an aside, I’ve been re-potting my camellias and the similarity of aroma to the ericaceous soil mix is notable; the Katerini really brings the unique depth of its vegetal complexion when supported by the Rustica and afforded more voice in the mix. The smoky Cyprian Latakia, in turn, is backed by equal earthiness from the Rustica, which overall exhibits a profile similar to dark-fired Kentucky; it leans more toward the woody and vegetal end of that spectrum, echoing and amplifying those traits of the other constituents. The tobacco is presented pressed and cut into a couple of thick, hearty flakes in the tin, lightly moist and easily crumbled to prepare—I prefer mine with a bit of drying time. The out-of-this-world tin art for this episode in the series is Major O’Meara smoking a cavalier. In the absence of confirmation, I’m going to hazard a guess he’s of the Ithklur species. The first taste from the light is sweet, with hints of that milk chocolate dancing around the edges. The Virginia leads the smoke through the top of the bowl, and orchestrates it well. Thoroughly smoky with lemony, grassy highlights from the Virginia spectrum, it soon segues into the mid-bowl profile: heartier, smokier, with the flavor leaning to the mildly acrid and tangy tinge that is the campfire-esque signature of English blends. Caution advised, it can turn overly bitter if pushed—this is where one’s sipping technique is required to maintain the fullness of flavor through to the heel. I did tend toward a lot of relights, though it may have as much to do with technique as with the blend. Pacing is also important as the nicotine starts to manifest; though the Rustica’s contribution has been tempered well by the stoving, it can certainly upend an empty stomach. At the end of every bowl, the mouthfeel somehow gets better. The balance of sugars in the tobaccos would seem to be spot-on in this regard. I started out my tasting in cobs, then cut short an unpleasant bowl in a meer, and finally landed on my best instrument with the lovely Dunhill 4427 pictured, a quaint group 4 shell briar with a gentle curve and Cumberland stem supporting a perfectly executed acorn bowl. It surprised me here, as I’ve learned through the years that I generally have the best experience with English blends in large, wide bowls. With this blend it seems that to get the best out of the Katerini’s somewhat diaphanous influence the smaller bowl fared much better. Room note is very English, so the company you keep will either love it or hate it, and it doesn’t linger too much. I find it paired best with a strong coffee; Sumatran beans complement the flavors well, as do Ethiopian if a lighter brew is preferred. Overall impressions of the blend are that it’s a curiously interesting take on the English genre, almost a reductive reconstruction of the theme using the unique components. This blend, if nothing else, expanded my vocabulary of sense perceptions with the uniquely treated leaf. While the average human can distinguish approximately one trillion (1,000,000,000,000!) different aromas, multiplied by seven basic tastes, and wholly dependent on variables from body chemistry to atmospheric conditions, our overworked and underpaid simian brains can’t effectively catalog them all. Our pet adding machines are exceedingly good at this, however, and someday soon they’ll be the ultimate and unequivocal authority on what something tastes, smells, looks, or even feels like. Until that time, friends, revel in the moments that can be stolen to savor over a bowl of Pipe Force: Episode I.
Welcome to The Pipes Magazine Radio Show Episode 603. Our featured interview tonight is with Rick Newcombe. Rick is a well-known author of several pipe books, and he is currently working on his third book. He is a prominent collector of Danish pipes, and vintage tobaccos. He has traveled the world visiting pipe makers, and learning their different techniques. He is also the founder and chairman of Creators Syndicate, which currently represents more than 200 writers and artists. At the top of the show we’ll have a Pipe Smoking 101 segment discussing best pipe shapes and sizes that are best suited to certain types of tobacco.
Great artical it has really given me something to think about.
I found the article you mentioned: http://www.esquire.com/features/learning-to-smoke-0308
Very interesting.
That was heart wrenching. The look on that child’s face characterizes my feelings every time a politician starts to speak. It’s all about money after all. The politicians figure with the Health Care Bill they can profit from anyone who tries to quit using tobacco . Banning tobacco guarantees that people will flock to the clinics to quit (?)comfortably and will also consume copious quantities of drugs until the DO quit. Raising taxes on tobacco maximizes their profits until tobacco is taxed out of existence, and they have marijuana to fall back on to re-addict the sheeple.
It seems people are stupid enough to be persuaded that smoking in the open air is a threat to non smokers while ignoring their children being sexualised at a young age by the TV they watch and the magazines they read in order to sell them more products – The threat to the children and society in general is not from the smokers.
Folks, Jussssssst relax. Everything will be fine. Someone will do all the hard things for you. Support China at every opportunity. Don’t bother writting your congressperson, it won’t do any good anyway. OH, by the way, your vote won’t count for much, it’s just one vote. Who cares if another ten jobs goes to Mexico, China or pickacountry? It’s too late. Be fair…trade with everyone. Just trussssssssst in me. Ssssssssssssmply relax.
/applause
Wow, that’s a terrible commercial. The article’s not any better. They’re both pretty hyperbolic, and the associations between the events aren’t established. Exactly how is the sexualizaton of young adults associated with the prohibition of our habit? I don’t see any evidence that Washington state is outlawing tobacco when I search for it. Could we have some proof, maybe a link to the proposed bill?
Your evidence that the U.S. is outlawing tobacco is an Australian commercial? You’re nowhere near backing up your claim there. You’re not even on the same continent.
Your final bargain isn’t going to convince anyone, either. I don’t know of any place that won’t let you take your smoking items back inside your own house or other private property. I’m not aware of any bans that aren’t directed at public places.
Seriously, I smoke a pipe, sometimes cigarettes, and occasionally cigars. I don’t like the scare campaign leveled against my hobby/addiction, but I don’t think my freedoms have been tromped on very often, either (NYC’s ban on smoking in public parks being the possible exception). This article did not convince me of anything other than: the author needs to learn some critical thinking skills and apply them to their writing. Pipesmagazine.com usually has some eloquent writers, this example is far from being up to snuff. I’d rather the articles would be endorsing the hobby I love, rather than trying to frighten folks about a largely imaginary threat. If you must run articles that are essentially scare ads, could they please at least make sense?
You are right our TV’s have turned into 1984 with flat screens on the wall and constant news drivel dividing the country and trying to keep us in wars. News that is all liberal or all conservative to keep the country divided and conquered. My son and I are opening a tobacco lounge with Hooka for the 18 and up to enjoy and have a place for social gathering. The 18 to 21 age groups have no place for social gatherings until they are 21 and can go start drinking alcohol. Maybe they will discuss politics and social events and think for themselves while not being under the influence of intoxicants. Just what Washington doesn’t want to happen, people thinking for themselves and discussing their ideas with others. Pipe smoking at one time was viewed as an enjoyment of the college professor, engineer, scientist, and enjoyed by sailors and working men when they came home to relax after a day’s hard work. Let’s all bring back the right to relax and enjoy a smoke after a day of servitude.